everlasting problem

    • everlasting problem

      :D

      soooooo... i've had this "problem" ever since i know of myself ^^ it's annoying and caused loads of (heart) pain to me haha

      anyway, when i like a girl, i never manage to move on past "staring" point.. basically if i like a girl, i stare-flirt (lol) a lot (keep looking at her and moving my look away when she looks back..). But sadly i don't know how to get past that.. or maybe know but i'm too scared to do it? i actually had 2 cases where it was 95% obvious that girls liked me back and i still "couldn't" do anything..

      probably a big problem here is my past - in elementary school people used to tease me and make fun of me, i didn't have too many friends and well.. my nose was/is a bit big (at least i think so anyway). So back then i was the most un-confident person i've ever met.
      Things changed when i entered high school - i got a lot of friends, my confidence started building up, could say i became rather popular, noticed some girls started flirting with me, i was no longer a shy boy and very confident around my friends. but due my past i pretty much can't get to girls, my worst fear is to be rejected by a girl i like.

      ok, i'll cut it here, blabbering waaay to much already and started talking non-sense, so:

      anyone had similar experience? any advices?

      ty :D

    • Re: everlasting problem

      By the sounds of it, you have low confidence. You need to start talking to girls more, so you will start feeling more comfortable around them. Like anything, it takes practice to be good at. Like you said, you have a fear of rejection. Well think about this:

      You approach a girl you have liked for a bit. You say to her "Wanna go out some time?" (or something along those lines :p) and she replies "Nah, im not interested sorry." I'll admit its not nice but is it really that bad? So what if you get rejected? Everyone gets rejected at some point. Chances are, if you really like a girl and she likes you back, she won't say no. Girls like to be approached by guys, I don't really know why. Build up your confidence and fear of rejection. Good luck buddy :).

    • Re: everlasting problem

      I bet you that if you go up and talk to them, they will be screaming in their head "YESSSSSSSS he's making his move!!!" hahah. You said you are very confident around your friends, try and use that confidence and apply it to a situation when you're with a girl. Just be very laid back, go to talk to her like you have no intentions of anything except to merely say hello.

      If she wants to talk, she will bring something up, or remark on something. Then you respond and give your opinion, and then holy.. you're not just staring anymore! :D ^^
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    • Re: everlasting problem

      Well, from the sounds of it, it seems like your past is hindering you now. Maybe you're afraid that the past will repeat itself, if you do anything that may cause a negative reaction. Your fear is holding you back. I think you should just remind yourself that the past is the past. Things change; you've changed. And anyone that doesn't like you for who you are isn't worth your time. Don't let the past haunt you and keep you from having better experiences now and in the future.

      Just get talking to a girl. Talk to her like she's one of your friends. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Girls are afraid of being rejected too. Try to relax and just talk to them like you would any other person you're comfortable around. The more you do it, the easier it will become. When you talk to them, I don't think they will expect you to sweep them off their feet or anything. So, relax and try to not worry about being rejected. All you're doing is talking, for right now, so whether or not anything becomes of that just depends on the chemistry you two have and how well things progress.

      Just my opinion. Hope this helped.
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    • Re: everlasting problem

      5l4ck wrote:

      :D

      soooooo... i've had this "problem" ever since i know of myself ^^ it's annoying and caused loads of (heart) pain to me haha

      anyway, when i like a girl, i never manage to move on past "staring" point.. basically if i like a girl, i stare-flirt (lol) a lot (keep looking at her and moving my look away when she looks back..). But sadly i don't know how to get past that.. or maybe know but i'm too scared to do it? i actually had 2 cases where it was 95% obvious that girls liked me back and i still "couldn't" do anything..

      probably a big problem here is my past - in elementary school people used to tease me and make fun of me, i didn't have too many friends and well.. my nose was/is a bit big (at least i think so anyway). So back then i was the most un-confident person i've ever met.
      Things changed when i entered high school - i got a lot of friends, my confidence started building up, could say i became rather popular, noticed some girls started flirting with me, i was no longer a shy boy and very confident around my friends. but due my past i pretty much can't get to girls, my worst fear is to be rejected by a girl i like.

      ok, i'll cut it here, blabbering waaay to much already and started talking non-sense, so:

      anyone had similar experience? any advices?

      ty :D



      I was/am the exact same way i was the loner/the kid to make fun of in elementary school, wasnt confident at all until highschool came and i joined the football team and started hanging out with the "popular" kids, and to this day im still very shy around girls, its hard for me to talk to them, but im as confident as can be near my friends, and every1 has a fear of being rejected, but its going to happen every now and then, i had a dilema that looked like this -> Me <3 K ||| Teammate <3 K ||| K <3 Teammate ||| K </3 Me >.> but my teammate, knowing im shy, told me to "go for it" and it didnt work out becuz she didnt like me and so my friend didnt want to try. . . . >.> and now IM babbling on about nothing so ill shut up now =)
      ohhh yeah almost forgot My Point: You should try no matter what, if it doesnt work it doesnt work and its not meant to be but if you ask a million girls, odds are more than one of them is bound to say yes

    • Re: everlasting problem

      meh, depressed enough to write here again.. just came from vacations, was there with my school and few other schools. As always, got along very well with everyone, made loads of friends etc. was relaxed to talk to just about anyone, but then there was that girl.. which totally matched the description of a perfect girl (in my book anyway), and there i failed yet again. She was flirting with me, she was often trying to be along around me and making eye contact, yet i failed to make any move at all. Talked to her 1 time, once about her private life, what music she likes, where does she hang out at etc. and then ran out of ideas and chat died. Other than that she came to me few times asking if i had some stuff she needed, ironically i didn't have anything =/ today i got home and i feel totally depressed for passing on yet another chance.

      I know you already gave me some ideas, but it appears to me that i just don't know how to express my feeling in words, i just totally fail there. I was ready to give it a go, but when i tried to think of what to say to her at all, i just gave up on the idea.

      bah, i just had to leave this out of me.. usually makes me feel better ^^