Massive rant - help if you can

    • Massive rant - help if you can

      Generally I'm very positive, I look at the highs of situations as opposed to the lows, and I laugh at pretty much anything and everything, but I'm getting sick of being the one that takes everything.

      Work/college.
      I've worked EVERY day this summer holiday, apart from Sunday just gone, and the day I went to see Prodigy, yet I get called lazy, and get moaned by my mum (more to come) when I'm home 'cause I can never be bothered to tidy my room and petty shit like that.
      I can't decide whether to stay at college or just try for full-time at work ( I work at Tesco ) as the money's so good, but both work and college are likely to affect my decision on when to restart my Army career (I dropped out of training a couple years back), and I'm also getting nagged at by my mum about that.
      Basically where I'm re-enlisting, it's taking a lot longer than if I were to normally join, but apparently it's me not hassling the careers advisor enough, even though it's the MOD processing my application and out of his control.

      Home.
      Forgive me for seeming like some stereotypical, melodramatic whine-bag teenager, but I hate it here. All my mum does is talk to me either like shit, or in a tone of total indifference. No matter what it is. I tell her about college, she gets impatient with me and says she doesn't care. I tell her about work, she gets impatient with me and says I'm to start paying rent when I hit 19 (fair enough as I earn more than her even around college but it's the way she says it), I tell her about the Army application she gets impatient and tells me to make my fucking mind up. She puts no pressure on my brothers at all about life-decisions, or makes them do anything really, just lets them both mong it on the Xbox all day despite the eldest of the 2 about to be starting his last year of school. Also, her boyfriend now lives here and I fucking hate the bastard, as he was my dad's best friend before my parents split.
      I wanna move to my dad's, but can't without a car an I just failed my driving test, but I'm saving and saving money for a car and hoping I pass next time!

      Friends.
      I get ripped the piss out of ALL the time, which by the rules of banter, I wouldn't care about if I had the confidence to respond. I just sit there and take it, and the one time I bit back, I get fucking screwed at. On Sat night I promised I'd stop calling my mate fat, but a few hours later he popped a fat joke at me, so, naturally I responded in the same way. This resulted in a massive argument that lasted the distance accross town. Like I said to him, don't give what you can't fucking take.
      My social life is shite, unless there's a local even (like on Saturday) I usually only go out with one friend and my cousin every now and then in my mate's car but other than that it's pretty much me and my cousin going to my dad's when we're both not working.

      Girls.
      Basically, I have NO self-confidence. I find it hard to talk to girls I like, let alone ask them out, and it's another thing I get made fun of for. I blame my ex, but so far have found no soloution to it, and I know blaming won't solve anything.
      I haven't got laid since May 2008, and it is seriously effecting my stress levels. Not to say I just wanna girl to bone her and chuck her, I do wanna proper girlfriend, but you have regular sex for 2 years then suddenly go this long without it and tell me it ain't a fucking shock to your system. But obviously, I can't get laid, or a girlfriend without some self-confidence so I'm pissing against the wind anyway.

      Random.
      I'm also struggling to find ANY talents in myself? I've lost interest in drawing, and I can't fit in any sports other than my running for my Army training. There's not an awful lot I feel I'm very good at.

      Sorry for the depressing rant, as I say, I try to be quite positive, but there's only so much bullshit I can bottle up. I really do feel I'm gonna hurt someone soon. Which reminds me, I also get made fun of for the way I kicked in the last person to truely piss me off, even though none of my friends but one were there, and he doesn't make fun anyway.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by BlockHead2111 ().

    • Re: Massive rant - help if you can

      Find something small you can do and commit to it. You have way too much going on and it's stressing you out. For example, decide to re-enlist and work at that as your first priority. The rest of your life will sort itself out in time.
      [CENTER][SIZE=3]"What we do in life echoes in ete[/SIZE][SIZE=3]rnity."[/SIZE]
      ~ Maximus from The Gladiator[/CENTER]

    • Re: Massive rant - help if you can

      hey block head!

      Firstly I will start with your mum. How old is she if you don't mind me asking? If she is around the age of 45-60 she could be going through menopause. If you do not know about this already I will quickly fill you in. When women get to this sort of age, their menstrual cycle eventually comes to a halt. It is commonly known that this can have a variety of side affects which include hot flushes, erratic behavior and mood swings, various sexual things you will not want to think about with regards to your mum lol and headaches. This could be one reason why your mum acts the way she is. When I was at college and at home still, my mum was going through this and it was impossible to be around her.
      I know it is only something small like cleaning your room, but if you do it she may lay off you a little. You have to realise that she is probably going through a time in her life which is causing her some degree of stress. So, a little give and take goes a long way often. I know you work a lot and have college, but if you want to be able to live under the same roof in peace you will have to be subtle. try and be light hearted, helpful and you may see a change in her.

      I don't know what it is about guys and banter, but it is the same with all the social groups I have been in. There is always 1 or 2 people who like to think they are the cheeky ones and try to be alpha by ripping the piss. Let them do it, they are only nursing an ego that needs to be fed. If you keep fueling them, they will keep coming back twice as hard. They often find something that they know will piss you off and focus on that, the mistake here is to play them at their own game because as you stated, it causes major arguments. Guys are like this often though, I have known people who never rip the piss, some who do in some situations and some who do it all the time. Just try not to get pissed off by it and realise they are only doing it to big themselves up because they need to feel secure and happy about themselves.

      you mentioned being over weight. This is something you can change and it is really obvious. About 6 months ago I wanted to get rid of my beer gut so I did. It took about 3 months but it is possible. You have to sort out your diet firstly, make it balanced and efficient. Loads of information about this on the net. I also advise you to go to the gym 2-3 times a week. You may think lifting weights is for body building, but if you work all of your muscles in a work out, and also your heart by running after, you lose the weight so much quicker.
      You may feel a bit anxious about going to the gym as you have low confidence so you said. Then try and find the least popular gym and the quietest time to go. You also need to make sure you eat a meal 90 minutes before your work out consisting of carbs and protein. There are information on good pre work out meals on the net.Similarly, you need to eat a meal high in protein within 45 minutes after your work out. If you do not do this you will not progress very fast or worse, burn off muscle tissue rather than fat. It can be done and it is worth it. Once you see the progress you will gain confidence and feel happy about yourself.

      Girlfriends, if you really want a serious girlfriend I adivse you to firstly get down the gym purely because this will start to improve your confidence. Secondly, as this starts to improve, work on your talking techniques and body language. This is crucial when it comes to talking to women and it goes a long long way. You need to look for this gf in the correct places, you need someone down to earth, loyal and who shares interests with you maybe. I only say this because a girl who always flirty and easy will maybe not be so loyal and cause you more stress as you are wanting a commitment here.

      Meditation helps with every day life and stress. It also helps with health and self confidence. It takes time and effort but doing this 10-15 minutes a day at first can begin to show improvements.

      I wish you all the best mate, good luck and remember it can be done, tom

    • Re: Massive rant - help if you can

      ThailandTom wrote:

      hey block head!

      Firstly I will start with your mum. How old is she if you don't mind me asking? If she is around the age of 45-60 she could be going through menopause.


      She's 38 mate, she's always been like this, even when my parents were still together.

      ThailandTom wrote:


      I don't know what it is about guys and banter, but it is the same with all the social groups I have been in. There is always 1 or 2 people who like to think they are the cheeky ones and try to be alpha by ripping the piss. Let them do it, they are only nursing an ego that needs to be fed. If you keep fueling them, they will keep coming back twice as hard. They often find something that they know will piss you off and focus on that, the mistake here is to play them at their own game because as you stated, it causes major arguments. Guys are like this often though, I have known people who never rip the piss, some who do in some situations and some who do it all the time. Just try not to get pissed off by it and realise they are only doing it to big themselves up because they need to feel secure and happy about themselves.


      I don't get wound up because they take the piss, I can cope with that :) What I can't cope with is them not being able to take it in return. But yeah, they tend to lay in with the same jokes EVERY time lol

      ThailandTom wrote:


      you mentioned being over weight. This is something you can change and it is really obvious. About 6 months ago I wanted to get rid of my beer gut so I did. It took about 3 months but it is possible. You have to sort out your diet firstly, make it balanced and efficient. Loads of information about this on the net. I also advise you to go to the gym 2-3 times a week. You may think lifting weights is for body building, but if you work all of your muscles in a work out, and also your heart by running after, you lose the weight so much quicker.
      You may feel a bit anxious about going to the gym as you have low confidence so you said. Then try and find the least popular gym and the quietest time to go. You also need to make sure you eat a meal 90 minutes before your work out consisting of carbs and protein. There are information on good pre work out meals on the net.Similarly, you need to eat a meal high in protein within 45 minutes after your work out. If you do not do this you will not progress very fast or worse, burn off muscle tissue rather than fat. It can be done and it is worth it. Once you see the progress you will gain confidence and feel happy about yourself.


      I'm not actually overweight, I just eat loads, so I get loads of fat jokes my way :) I don't mind it because I'm always running and cycling, and as long as I can take the piss back I'll take it. I did, and he got pissy.
      Funny you say that though, I've just got back from my first gym session in a year and I feel awesome xD

      ThailandTom wrote:


      Girlfriends, if you really want a serious girlfriend I adivse you to firstly get down the gym purely because this will start to improve your confidence. Secondly, as this starts to improve, work on your talking techniques and body language. This is crucial when it comes to talking to women and it goes a long long way. You need to look for this gf in the correct places, you need someone down to earth, loyal and who shares interests with you maybe. I only say this because a girl who always flirty and easy will maybe not be so loyal and cause you more stress as you are wanting a commitment here.

      Meditation helps with every day life and stress. It also helps with health and self confidence. It takes time and effort but doing this 10-15 minutes a day at first can begin to show improvements.

      I wish you all the best mate, good luck and remember it can be done, tom


      That's the thing mate, Hastings isn't really a good place for down to Earth, committed girls lol I've never really been one for meditation but I've been trying to get out of town every chance I get, and I'm hitting up a student night in another nearby town in a few weeks when I get paid so see how that goes xD
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    • Re: Massive rant - help if you can

      Well you do sound a lot more positive than a lot of people with their problems on this forum, which is obviously good. Sorry if i did not understand certain aspects of your situation correctly. If your mum is that way just because that is her then I guess you will have to accept it. There is no point in fighting with it because that will just make things worse. If you want to finish college and maybe go to uni, that will give you the opportunity to move out which helped me and my mums relationship a whole lot.
      Best of luck with that student night though :p A friend of mine wants a steady relationship but he gets involved with the wrong girls all of the time and ends up getting hurt lol.

      But yea, going to the gym does help with confidence a whole lot. Even if you are not over weight, toning the body and finding new muscles you never even knew you had is always good. Plus the fact of feeling healthy with a healthy diet too feels good.

      So your friends get pissed when you give it back to them? they can dish it out but can't take it back basically. Do you have to give it back? Do you feel the need to send it back at them all of the time?