Try not think negatively, Jon. Things WILL get better, trust me.
What i say may mean nothing to you, but i undertand how you feel, honest.

Hey man!
The night is the darkest before dawn. You cannot give up because there is the rest of your fucking life in front of you. You are not a failure because you messed up once, messing is up and figuring out who you are is part of growing up man! And remember teenagers will never commit anything emotionally because they do not want to deal with it. TRUST me, if you hold on, its worth the ride!

If you feel like you need someone to talk to, message me :)!

Regards,
Cyber

Once one believes something for long enough, it becomes true. It is mind over matter, really. If you think you fuck everything up, chances are you will.. if you go into something with a positive attitude, then you are more likely to succeed. MVP isn't far off with what he said, life is what you make it. It seems like you think waaaaay too much into things and with pretty negative outlook. Stop thinking, start doing. Yes, it seems impossible at first.. but like I said, once you tell yourself something enough you begin to condition yourself to be that way. Also, you need to stop worrying about how others feel about you all the time and focus more on how you feel about yourself. If you see something you don't like, fix it.. don't dwell on it.