I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

    • I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      Okay. So the story is...

      I'm sixteen, I'm a virgin, and I have an eighteen-year-old boyfriend. Both honor roll students. He has had one serious relationship prior to ours, and I've had two. We've been dating for six months. We've been discussing sex for awhile now. I would be perfectly comfortable with having sex with him and vice versa. We would use protection, of course.

      His parents are only concerned with making sure that he has safe sex, and we've got that covered. My parents on the other hand disapprove of having sex before marriage entirely. They are both Catholic. I'm agnostic, if anything, so we tend to disagree on a lot of things. Like this.

      I believe that I'm responsible enough to make my own decisions as a young adult. I know what I'm going into. I would be doing this soberly. The problem is that my parents are both so pigheaded that I can barely mention sex to them without getting some terrible lecture. They are both strongly for "saving yourself" for marriage, whereas I believe that if you are responsible, use protection, and are doing it with someone that you think you truly love, then it's fine.

      The age of consent in my state is sixteen, so everything is legal, but I know that my parents would sue my boyfriend for statutory rape if they found out. My father would quite literally kill him. If that didn't happen, my parents would never let me see him again.

      I hate to keep things from my parents, and I don't want to be sneaky about having sex. I'm also a terrible liar (even thought I don't want to lie to them). I just want my family to respect the decision that I'm making as a calm, level-headed young adult. It's not like we'd be going at it like rabbits everyday. On occasion. We've already done other things (third base, as crude as it sounds) with each other, and we both feel that we're ready for this commitment.

      I just really need some advice. My parents will not listen to me. Please help.

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      Personally i think you should do what you want to do. It's your life, it's your own decision. Your mother and father wont be there all the time telling you what's right and what's wrong. So you have to do what you want to do. They already made their mistakes, made their decisions with their life, now it's time for you to take control of yours.

      If you and your boyfriend both feel like you are ready to have sex and you have everything you need to prevent any pregnancies or STD's then i say go for it.

      You don't have to lie to your parents, maybe you should really sit down and tell them "This is what i want to do and what i am going to do, it's my life, sooner or later i am going to have to take control of it" You have to make them look at options like if you dont get married then what you stay a virgin forever or marry some creep??? you have to show them that you both are really responsible and that nothing bad is going to happen.
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      [SIZE=4]Skins[/SIZE]
      [SIZE=3]Everyone Tries to be Different. Thats why all of us are the same. [/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      This is kind of hard for me since my parents are on a really different position about this issue (My mom wants me to make my own choices, and my dad said if I have sex he will buy me condoms as long as I use them). Lying is never good, but in this case I think you are old enough to make your own choices. If I was in your position and I decided to have sex, I would keep it from them. If they are going to be like that, they should expect you will do some things behind their back. I don't like lying, but I think this would be OK. Just think very carefully about it and make your own choice.

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      This happens in my family too, my bro is with this girl that my parents hate and he always sneaks around with her and has fun, the thing is that they never find out. I would say to be sneaky, if you really want to have sex, and also keep in mind that there are other ways to have fun.

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      hunnykun789 wrote:


      I believe that if you are responsible, use protection, and are doing it with someone that you think you truly love, then it's fine..



      Hey there, I'm with you on this one, I think what you said there is perfectly justifiable and reasonable.
      I don't think that your parents should be trying to force their religious views upon you, especially not in an area of your life that belongs so much to you.

      If they want to be devout Cathelics then that's their choice but they should respect your point of view enough to be able to have a logical discussion with you, and let you decide what is best for your self, especially when it comes to something like this where the religion has a strong belief and rules about how you should behave without a lot of reasons as to why.

      I had never heard of the term agnostic before now, so thanks for introducing me to it ^^

      Sounds like you have some questions about the Cathelic religion that I bet they are not all too welcoming to discuss. I have a few opinions about the Catholic church my self so I would be happy to talk to someone about that, especially someone like your self who has experienced it first hand in it's modern form.

      If your boy friend is very serious about your relationship then he should respect your parents wishes, but you will likely need to come to a logical conclusion on your own about how best to proceed from here.

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      hunnykun789 wrote:

      The age of consent in my state is sixteen, so everything is legal, but I know that my parents would sue my boyfriend for statutory rape if they found out.

      Statuatory rape is a criminal offence, not a civil one. So if you are above the age of consent, you boyfriend cannot be charged by your parents as you aren't legally their property and he didn't commit any crime.

      If you are above the age of consent and really want to have sex while being aware of all the precautions needed, go ahead. Your sexuality is yours, not your parent's private property and hence, I don't see why you should be guilty about it.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Sash ().

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      Sash wrote:

      Statuatory rape is a criminal offence, not a civil one. So if you are above the age of consent, you boyfriend cannot be charged by your parents as you aren't legally their property and he didn't commit any crime.

      If you are above the age of consent and really want to have sex while being aware of all the precautions needed, go ahead. Your sexuality is yours, not your parent's private property and hence, I don't see why you should be guilty about it.



      "Your sexuality is yours, not your parent's private property."

      Brilliant. +1 _b

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      It's your life so it's up to you to do it or not to do it. It has nothing to do with your parents.

      If it feels right, just do it. Do not wait for other people's approbation because they will always have some little thing to be against you.
      [5:24 AM] lazyday: i love girls but when they're fresh e.g. 7 yo

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      honestly i say save your self.. like if i ever have a daughter... i'm gonna make her into a catholic so she will save herself for marriage.. even though i am not catholic nor do I believe in God.. at least I dont think so..

      ---------- Post added at 01:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:17 AM ----------

      edit: nvm you've already lost your innocence i have no advice for you sorry.

    • Re: I need serious advice. Parents, boyfriend, and sex.

      your parents aren't okay with it. until you are 18 or...i dont know, disowned, they can do whatever they want if they find out

      for the record, i hate people like your parents. they shouldnt have any ability to sue that guy if you both agreed to have sex. that's not rape, thats...well, sex.
      [CENTER][SIZE="2"]"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me." - Dr. Seuss[/SIZE][/CENTER]