15 year friendship, OVER

    • 15 year friendship, OVER

      So me and my "bestfriend" officially broke off our friendship last week. I didn't think I'd care, but I feel like I just got divorced or something. I feel really bad because I said some horrible things to her out of frustration. I had been feeling like I'd checked out of the relationship over a year ago. She just got really annoying and I got tired of her. So one night I just told her everything that that bothered me about her and this was the result. But it started with her being a dramatic bitch soooo no, it's not my fault.

      She got mad at me a few days before that because I didn't answer her text message but I answered her phone call about 5 mins after I received the text. She's one of those people who act like the world revolves around her and everything has to happen how she wants it and when she wants it. Frankly, she's a bossy bitch and she's ALWAYS been that way. Even when we were younger.

      And of course she pins the whole thing on me because you know, she does nothing wrong (sarcasm). When in actuality, it wouldn't have happened if she wasn't so self absorbed. Don't get me wrong, she's a good friend. But she doesn't realize her faults. She only realizes everyone else's and I'm tired of that bullshit.

      The girl even talks to me like she's my fucking mom. I hate that shit. She always has to call the shots in everything. In her words, "Honestly, from what I've heard, we don't have a friendship anymore. I mean we might still be friends and this'll pass or whatever, but I can never trust you again. And you know when I lose someone's trust, things can never go back to the way they used to be." So according to HER, our friendship is over. I haven't heard from her since that day and she even deleted me from her Facebook.

      When she said she couldn't trust me, she was referring to me "throwing stuff in her face". She shared a lot with me and she got upset because I said, "fuck her and her sob as stories (that frustration was talking)." And she brought up something that happened a few days before the fight when I made a joke about her past boyfriend cheating on her. I didn't think it was that big of a deal and even if it was, IT WAS A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL PUPPY LOVE RELATIONSHIP! Get the fuck over it. Like seriously... grow up.

      Now I know what you're thinking, "Of course she's mad at you! You're a fucking asshole." But trust me, she's said and done her fair share of shit to me. The fact of the matter is, she's being a drama queen. Friends fight, and it's life. USUALLY, they kiss and make up. But no, not us. Like I said, everything has to be her way. Her way or no way. Now if we became friends again, things would have to change because I'm not going back into a friendship again where I'm annoyed and dread every time I see her name on caller ID. But I do want to keep this friendship alive.

      What do I do? Or at least, how do I get over it? I'm dying here.:(

    • Re: 15 year friendship, OVER

      Allow yourselves to cool down first. Maybe you should give each other more space overall. If you're getting annoyed with her, it could be because you don't like the way she acts and maybe you talk and/or spend time with each other too much. If something bothers you about her, talk to her about it and let her know. Don't bottle it up and wait until you can't take it anymore. That's just for future reference, though.

      If you want to salvage the friendship, give it a little time and then, talk to her. Try to keep calm and just talk to her. Let her know that you can't go back to the way things used to be. Just tell her what you want her to know and she can do with it what she will. You both could have handled it better. You both got upset, but if you want to try and fix it, you may have to take the first step to get talking again.

      Just my opinion. I hope this helped.
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    • Re: 15 year friendship, OVER

      AdamArmy wrote:

      Have another discussion about it. And apologize even if you think you didn't do anything.

      I apologized the day after for the way I said things. I could've been a little bit calmer and gentler about my feelings. But I was fighting fire with fire. She wants to be a bitch, well I can be an asshole. But anyway, after I apologized, her response was, "ok". WTF?!!! "Ok"? How about, "It's ok, I'm sorry too." That's what I'm saying. She acts like she never does wrong. She puts the blame on everyone else. And it's so hypocritical because she always says people try to always put the blame on her. Is she not getting the memo that maybe it is her fault? lol

      Jasmine wrote:

      Allow yourselves to cool down first. Maybe you should give each other more space overall. If you're getting annoyed with her, it could be because you don't like the way she acts and maybe you talk and/or spend time with each other too much. If something bothers you about her, talk to her about it and let her know. Don't bottle it up and wait until you can't take it anymore. That's just for future reference, though.

      If you want to salvage the friendship, give it a little time and then, talk to her. Try to keep calm and just talk to her. Let her know that you can't go back to the way things used to be. Just tell her what you want her to know and she can do with it what she will. You both could have handled it better. You both got upset, but if you want to try and fix it, you may have to take the first step to get talking again.

      Just my opinion. I hope this helped.


      I honestly don't know why she annoys me. She does call a lot and I just don't feel like talking that much. But I think it really stems from my stuttering. My stuttering has put me into a shell and I've been pushing everyone away since my freshman year of high school. So yes it is my fault too. She mentioned I've been having attitudes toward her lately (she used a meaner word but I'll leave it alone), and I know I have. I've been taking out all my pain and depression on the people who love me the most. And I feel bad but that's just how I'm dealing with things right now in my life. As a "best friend" shouldn't she understand that and try to help instead of fighting me on it?

      And you're right, I do bottle up everything; another effect of the stuttering. I hold in my thoughts my feelings, EVERYTHING. And it eats me alive. But I guess I'd rather suffer in silence than have to do all that talking. I think if I had just been honest in about everything in the first place (as I discovered it bothered me), we would've never had this big explosion.

      I guess I'll just give it sometime. Maybe 2 more weeks? Hell, she might even contact me before that.

    • Re: 15 year friendship, OVER

      xNerRadx wrote:


      I honestly don't know why she annoys me. She does call a lot and I just don't feel like talking that much. But I think it really stems from my stuttering. My stuttering has put me into a shell and I've been pushing everyone away since my freshman year of high school. So yes it is my fault too. She mentioned I've been having attitudes toward her lately (she used a meaner word but I'll leave it alone), and I know I have. I've been taking out all my pain and depression on the people who love me the most. And I feel bad but that's just how I'm dealing with things right now in my life. As a "best friend" shouldn't she understand that and try to help instead of fighting me on it?

      Well, if she's your best friend, I don't think she'll let the stuttering bother her. If she calls you, she wants to talk to you. I can understand that the stuttering would make you close yourself off, but you do have to remember that the people that belong in your life won't care and people that make it an issue and have a problem aren't worth your time. You don't have to talk to her every time she calls you, but it also wouldn't be right to constantly blow her off. So, find a middle ground. If you don't feel like talking, just explain to her that you're really not in the mood to talk. She should understand.

      Have you told her what you've been going through and explained to her that it's just a bad time and you can't help but act a certain way sometimes? If you haven't, she's not going to know and she'll probably just think you're having an attitude for no reason. To be honest, it's not a healthy way to deal with things. These people care about you and they're the ones that can help get you through whatever it is you're going through. If they care about you, they'll stick around. If you push them away, you're only causing more problems for yourself. I know it's not easy to always keep calm, but try to remember that the people you're hurting are the people that care about you the most.

      And you're right, I do bottle up everything; another effect of the stuttering. I hold in my thoughts my feelings, EVERYTHING. And it eats me alive. But I guess I'd rather suffer in silence than have to do all that talking. I think if I had just been honest in about everything in the first place (as I discovered it bothered me), we would've never had this big explosion.
      Talking helps and, as you've realized, it can save you from going through a lot of unnecessary trouble. It's not easy to open up, I understand that. In fact, I can relate. I keep things to myself too, but if you have people you can trust, you should try to confide in them sometimes. Or start writing to release your pent up emotions. You don't even have to open up completely right away. You can start off sharing small things with people. They may not be extremely significant, but if you're not used to opening up to people, it can help. Just try opening up little by little.

      I guess I'll just give it sometime. Maybe 2 more weeks? Hell, she might even contact me before that.
      Well, I can't say how long you should wait, but just remember not to wait too long. If you're ready to talk and you've given it a reasonable amount of time for things to cool down, then go for it and talk to her. She may come to you first, as well. You'll have to see how things go from here on out.
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