I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

    • I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      So yeah, in like March or April I finally came to terms with my sexuality and realised that just because I'm attracted to guys, doesn't mean I'm not attracted to girls (hence BISEXUAL).

      I told (mostly) everyone that I was bi, and most of them said fine, but some people said that it was just a phase, that most people usually think that they're bi but then become either straight or properly gay. I got kind of annoyed and said that I was definately bi, because it was about freedom etc.

      But recently, there have been a couple of girls that I like and I know like me back, but I have just had NO desire to ask them out / get any further than casual flirting /hugs. I'm starting to worry that I might be 100% gay after all.

      I don't think that there's anything wrong with being gay. At all. I think it's fantastic, but tbh I REALLY don't want to be gay.

      Mainly, it's about the future and marriage and stuff, that I don't want to marry a guy, cos I think it would be weird for me and my family. But I also think that part of it is me not wanting to prove the other people right.

      Is this crazy?!?! :S

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      authanam wrote:

      So yeah, in like March or April I finally came to terms with my sexuality and realised that just because I'm attracted to guys, doesn't mean I'm not attracted to girls (hence BISEXUAL).

      I told (mostly) everyone that I was bi, and most of them said fine, but some people said that it was just a phase, that most people usually think that they're bi but then become either straight or properly gay. I got kind of annoyed and said that I was definately bi, because it was about freedom etc.

      But recently, there have been a couple of girls that I like and I know like me back, but I have just had NO desire to ask them out / get any further than casual flirting /hugs. I'm starting to worry that I might be 100% gay after all.

      I don't think that there's anything wrong with being gay. At all. I think it's fantastic, but tbh I REALLY don't want to be gay.

      Mainly, it's about the future and marriage and stuff, that I don't want to marry a guy, cos I think it would be weird for me and my family. But I also think that part of it is me not wanting to prove the other people right.

      Is this crazy?!?! :S


      Relax.
      You are just over-thinking this and over-reacting.
      If you can not see yourself falling deeply in love with another man and marrying him, then you are not gay.
      Perhaps the reason you have no desire to ask them out or hug them is because you want to get to know them first and become friends? I'm like that. I have no desire to date anybody unless he/she and I become good friends first.
      Not every male is a testosterone-fuelled maniac who wants to bang everything and anything that gives him a second glance.

      And just a thought, why are you so worried what your family thinks? You are your own person, you can do what you like. If you want to marry a guy, that is your business. You do not need their consent to anything.

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      i've seen that bisexual people suffer the most as in finding someone to love, etc.

      this is just a humble opinion with no offence intended, but i have always seen bisexuality as something bad since it's about outside appearances..
      but i understand because i went through something similar, but im sure i want and will marry my girlfriend now
      dot

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      I originally came out as bisexual. However it soon became apparent to me that I was actually saying I was bisexual simply to make it easier to come out. One of my friends had also just recently cam out as bi. Slowly, bit by bit I realised that I was actually still lying about who I was as by then I'd realised that I had absolutely no interest relationship/sexual wise with girls. And i eventually just told all my friends that I was gay.

      But everyone's different, and the only person who can know who you truly are is you.
      [LEFT][COLOR="Black"]“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”[/COLOR][/LEFT]
      [COLOR="DarkRed"][RIGHT]Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore - Just chillin' out down here at Kings Cross Station y'all! It's a bit foggy though... what's up with that?[/RIGHT][/COLOR]
      [CENTER][/CENTER]

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      You'll notice that you will go through cycles of attraction through out your life. Many teens try and force themselves into a straight Straight/Gay stereotype usually because they identify too quickly with the first sexual attractions they get in their teen years. The truth of the matter is that in a few years you might find yourself not attracted to guys and only attracted to women and then a few years later it will be back to this.

      Your biology is designed to be attracted to both genders, that is just human nature as a social animal. This does not mean, though, that you will be attracted to every man or woman you become close to, nor does it mean that you shall be equally attracted to the genders. Don't confuse yourself by thinking you have to be attracted to someone, attraction comes when attraction comes so just ride the wave of emotion.
      Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind. ~Immanuel Kant, Critique of Pure Reason
      [CENTER]The greatest thing you'll ever learn
      Is just to Love
      And be Loved in return
      [/CENTER]

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      Bazinga! wrote:

      I originally came out as bisexual. However it soon became apparent to me that I was actually saying I was bisexual simply to make it easier to come out. One of my friends had also just recently cam out as bi. Slowly, bit by bit I realised that I was actually still lying about who I was as by then I'd realised that I had absolutely no interest relationship/sexual wise with girls. And i eventually just told all my friends that I was gay.

      But everyone's different, and the only person who can know who you truly are is you.


      Same for me. When I first started realizing it I tried to convince myself in anyway possible that it wasn't true. Just give it time and see where it ends up. It took me about a year to fully accept it. Defintely not an easy thing to come to terms with. Good luck! :)
      [CENTER]We live in a huge world and I want to see every part of it. Come with me? :D[/CENTER]
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][/CENTER]

    • Re: I Want To Be Bi, But I'm Not So Sure...

      It means you're open minded enough to love both guys and girls. I hate labels, if I had to label myself I'd have to say that I was "bi" but I don't feel like I am. I'm straight but if it's a hot guy, I could be keen to do stuff. That doesn't mean that I'm gay like some people think or that I even like hairy man legs as much as I like perky breasts. It just means i'm open to new experiences and it sounds like you are too.