Should I Break Up With Him?

    • Should I Break Up With Him?

      Hi.

      I just recently started dating this guy a little while ago. We've dated before and he was my first boyfriend, but we've never actually gone out together. We mostly just talk to each other online and we used to talk in school but he doesn't go to my school anymore. I think I really like him and I really enjoy talking to him but sometimes I think about him and I start to really regret saying yes to being his girlfriend and I don't want to see him anymore. He bothers me a little because he told me he loved me on the first day we started dating and that makes me uncomfortable, but I felt obligated to say it back. I couldn't stop smiling the first day he asked me out but now it makes me a little nauseous thinking about it. I don't know if I'm just nervous because he's my first boyfriend and we haven't been on a real date or if he's just not the right guy for me. And when I don't feel like this, I'm not sure if I really like him because of him or if I'm just happy about having a boyfriend. I feel awful because he's a really sweet guy and he really appreiciates me and makes me feel special, but I don't know if I really like him. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm even interested in having a boyfriend in general right now, because it seems so much easier to be single. I'm very shy, so I don't know how to talk to him to tell him how I feel, and I don't want to continue dating him while I'm still doubting the way I feel about him. I'm very confused about everything right now and I could really use some advice.

      Thank You :)

    • Re: Should I Break Up With Him?

      Sometimes people really over think the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. You sound very young to me, and maybe you might just want to look at this from a different perspective. Too many teenagers, girls especially, get drawn up into the concept of being swept off your feet and living happily ever after from your very first relationship. Realistically, that doesn't happen very often.

      Try thinking over it in a different way. Instead of confusing the heck out of yourself with questions like "do I love him?" or "am I with him just because I want a boyfriend?", just ask yourself "Am I happy spending time with him right now?"

      If he's a fun guy, you have things in common, you like how he makes you feel about yourself, there's no harm in giving it some time and just seeing what happens. Now, I'm not saying you should be leading him on, and I definitely would be wary about telling him you love him if you aren't completely sure about it, but dating is suppose to be about having fun and deciding if the guy is right for you. Maybe instead of second guessing yourself and trying to analyze your feelings, just wing it... just concentrate on having fun and spending time with him without dwelling on the bigger picture.

    • Re: Should I Break Up With Him?

      Hi MortalLove!

      Well, i can understand how you feel. First off, how old are you? You sound pretty young. Honestly, i think you're feeling fluttery and infatuated with the idea of having your first boyfriend, and feeling flattered by the fact that he shares an interest in you as well. But, in all honestly he probably doesn't love YOU either. This is not to say that he doesn't care about you, but most young teens really don't have the emotional maturity to truly love someone of the opposite sex yet, so he's probably feeling just as confused as you are. I know it's a cool feeling to have your first boyfriend, but personally i think it's better to wait until you've grown more mature and you are fully aware of how you feel and what you want in a mate, which most of us aren't able to do yet (There are even some adult women out there who haven't mastered this as well, so don't worry, it will all come in time). I'm 18 and i've never had a boyfriend before, which i'm sure is quite strange to some of my peers. But i'm interested in something real - I'm not going to waste my time on someone who doesn't understand me, or more importantly someone who doesn't even have the capacity to. I want to be with someone who i can not only have fun with, but someone i can have a DEEP emotional and mental connection with, someone who gets me inside and out. This seems so much more fulfilling in the longrun for me. So until then, i'm not going to settle.


      I think it's probably best to break things off with him romantically. You shouldn't stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, and lying to someone about your feelings isn't fair, either. If you think he'll be responsive, ask him how he's feeling about your relationship. Then i think you should let him know that you guys would make better friends at this point. This in itself will relieve a lot of the anxiety you're feeling, and if you truely enjoy spending time with him then your platonic relationship with him will grow, and it'll give you time to figure out how you truely feel about things. And if you end up not feeling like he's really the one for you, then that's okay as well. It sounds cliche, but your guy will come soon enough! ;)

      I hope i've helped!

      OctoberBlue91 :yee: