My boyfriend talks really dirty.

    • My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      Hi there. :)

      My boyfriend is really dirty and it makes me uncomfortable. I can't ever talk to him about anything without him turning whatever I say into some sort of sexual innuendo. I'm only fourteen so we haven't had sex (and I intend to keep it that way) but he's a few years older than me and apparently he hasn't been a virgin for a while now. I'm not uncomfortable with the idea of sex, but the things he says are really nasty and I don't know how to get him to stop. I really like him because he's funny and intelligent and charming, but the way he speaks is exactly how you'd expect a horribly unfiltered teenage boy's mind to sound. We could be talking to my grandma and he'd still find a way to slip in a few sexual comments in the conversation (whether Grandma picks up on them or not, I have no idea). I don't want to tell him that I don't like it because he was reluctant to go out with me in the first place because I'm so young, and I don't want to give him a reason to break up with me. I've tried talking dirty with him, which he seemed to like immensly, but it just made me sick to my stomach. Any advice?

      Thanks
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      just curious - how old is your boyfriend?

      you really shouldn't hold back your displeasure over it. you shouldn't be in a relationship constantly worried he's going to break up with you over every little thing, that's pointless.

      to me, it sounds like he's just your typical pre-angsty, hormonal teenage boy, and he may be right: maybe you are too young for this. if you aren't ready to do sexy stuff, say it. if you really don't want to talk dirty or have sex, you're going to have to say something to him sooner or later - unless you're just going to let him pressure you into having sex? is it worth it?
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      I don't know how long the two of you have been going out, but just from the tone of your post, I'm going to say it hasn't been all that long. If you had been together for a significant period of time I would definitely suggest you talk to him about it. And when you say you don't want to talk to him about it for fear of him breaking up with you.... Sweetie, if he's going to break up with you for something like this, it was never much of a relationship to begin with.

      Honestly, and I really hate to put it like this, but this sounds like a deal-breaking problem. He's not going to change the way he thinks for you. Because of that, it's going to be very hard for him to change the way he talks for you. You really just need to decide whether or not this is something that really bothers you, or if it's something you can live with. If it's the latter, then I wish you the best of luck and just understand that as he gets a little older, his brain will naturally start filtering out inappropriate comments in public :D

      If this isn't a quality you are comfortable with in a boyfriend, then I think you might want to consider whether or not moving on might not be the best choice. There's no shame in that. You liked him, you went out with him, you found something about him that you just don't like. People do this every day, it just happens.
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      Coming from a guy, and I can be pretty sexual myself, if he can't control his mouth to even have a proper conversation, then he probably just really wants sex. Or maybe, not to insult your boyfriend, he just has a weird sense of wrong and right, because I would never slip in an innuendo around any of my girlfriend's family.

      How long have you two been going out? I have some friends who went out with younger girls because they were "easy...to take advantage of." So just be careful with an older guy. If you're scared he'll break up with you because you don't want to go very far just yet, then he probably isn't the right guy. If you tell him, he should understand.
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      My boyfriend is 17. So he's not like an old man or anything, but still old enough for my daddy to keep his rifle around every time he comes over. :) We've been dating for about 3 weeks. And I don't think he just wants sex. I don't know how good I am at telling when people are lying, but compared to other guys I've dated, he seems to be the most sincere. I did tell him I wasn't going to have sex with him early on and he said he understood.
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      Firstly he is who he is, you should not want to change anyone and love them for who they are. Secondly, if this annoys you so much you should try not to focus on it and see all of the other good qualities he has and not find this one fault and let it take over, or leave him. You should never try and change people as that is who they are. By all means, try telling him about it but I am sure it will not stop totally. He may grow out of this as he gets older I don't know, but people change on their own accord and it is not up to you to do so
      ''there is no way to peace, peace is the way''
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      Best plan is to tell him that talk makes you uncomfortable. If he stops, great. If not, sling his ass to the curb. 14-17 isn't that big unless he's focused on something you don't want. Could be that he's trying to plant the idea in your mind, or that that's his idea of being funny. Reaffirm your stance, and if he can't deal with it, split.
    • Re: My boyfriend talks really dirty.

      well to get him to stop talking like that, you have to do these steps, in order.
      1) ask him to stop talking dirty like that
      2) thats about it.
      [CENTER][SIZE="2"]"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me." - Dr. Seuss[/SIZE][/CENTER]