That's kind of difficult with the information you've given. Why do you feel like you are behaving like an 'absolute dick'. And if you do recognize when you are acting like this, why do YOU think you are doing so?

Are you shy? Has something hurtful or traumatic happened recently? Do you know why people perceive you as unkind? I read in another thread that you said you "hate yourself." Is this why?

There are many reasons why people could perceive you as rude. If you're shy or socially awkward, people may find it strange when you don't have much to say or say the wrong thing, so they classify it as rudeness. If you use improper body language or verbal tones, you can be perceived as unkind. Do you talk in a calm or upbeat sort of way, or do you speak swiftly or firmly, as if you're annoyed or could care less about what someone is saying? What does your body language say when someone is speaking to you? Do you make eye contact to show you care, or are you staring off in the distance? Do you face away from your peer or are you turned towards them, actively engaged in the conversation?

However, since you also have an inward concern that you feel you're being unkind to others, that's why I asked my initial questions. There are several things that could have triggered this change, and to reverse it, you must find the root of it. Are you stressed? Have you acquired any new habits or hobbies recently? It's also possible that you only feel this way because you're being influenced by others perceiving you as unkind, and so this is having a negative effect on your opinion of yourself.

I think more information about any recent lifestyle changes plus my above questions would be useful in helping you find out more about your concerns.

Journal wrote:

Artzyriz or whatever was being a smartass and such to me, and I thinking "What a douche, he should just quit talking to me." and a few times I thought that again. And then I started to think how I lost my best friend cause I tried to suicide, and then I realized how I barely have any friends and how I always want to fight people because they pick on people littler than them and so on.

I don't think that non-dick people would necessarily think like that. Like I was thinking earlier I should become the Micheal Corleone of my school so that I could beat up the people being jerks and such.

...I have already stated that I found it disrespectful that you threw my critique of your art into the drain and came back with a reason why it wasn't good enough for you. I also stated that I was trying to help you after pointing out what I liked in your art piece and how I thought it could be improved. If you feel that this was me being a smartass and if you feel that I'm a root of your issues...then...um...okay.