How to approach this?

    • How to approach this?

      First I'm going to say this is going to be long.

      Me and my friend are currently training to get buff ( To get chicks duh ). Now we don't train at the Y, but at the college we go to. Me and my friend are both black belt in kenpo, but apparently no muscles to actually impress girl with. Well yesterday we went for a Pre-test (Its a class you take PHED) to see where we currently are. Ima fast forward----

      We were stretching to see if we could touch our hands at our back, I could barely do it and my friend was worse than I. Suddenly girl who I thought was shy or w/e came and tried to help me out, didn't help but was still awesome of her. We flirted a little (Which didn't seem like it at the time. To me it felt as if we were talking, but making blanks. My friend said that was flirting.)----

      After the Pre-test, I was going to go get her name. I felt like I had to, but when I saw her; Blonde hair, smile that stopped me, and eyes that took everything in. Made me feel as if I was hitting to high.

      Weeks on end we glimpsed at each other trying to figure each other out. Right now I hardly see her because I have an extra class which blocks my time from training. I see her there training by herself "So how do I approach this?"
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      In the work of Nike: just do it. She came over to help you out for a reason, and not for a bad reason or she wouldn't have approached you at all in the first place. She either thinks you're cute, you seemed like an interesting person, or she was trying to help and you ended up flirting.

      Either way, since she came up to you, you can be pretty sure she will be welcoming and friendly if you approach her. Just ask her if you can train with her - and you could maybe tell a subtle joke...something stupid but maybe effective like, "Mind if I join you? I might need help stretching again;" would be better jokes if you almost dropped the bench bar on your head or something awesome like that X( - or just walk with her for a couple minutes between class if you see her and see how she responds. If you're going to build muscle to get girls, you have to have the confidence to go with it.
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      Capt.Awesome wrote:

      Does an Ego and pure Awesomeness count in having confidence?


      that counts a lot broski! i feel like i too share those qualities. im in college to in chicago and i see some fine ass women almost everyday!!! (god bless chicago) but just i like you said sometimes the sheer beauty of them just keeps you away. the best way to approach it, and you can trust me cause ive used this before and its worked almost everytime.

      during that time that you do see her working out by herself, just make that inital eye contact with her, smile (very important), and while smiling look down then back up at her and then slowly walkover to her (if you pull off the smile thing good then most likely she will be smiling back. smiles are contagious) walking over keep that eye contact and then when get next to her just ask "mind if i join you for a bit? i havent been able to stretch in a while so i know im outta shape" if she responds yes, you are in!!! and after you are done stretching or even during dont hesitate to ask if she wants to get together for lunch sometime and hangout. i would be highly surprised if she said no.

      the main thing thats the most important is that you approach her right. eye contact and smiling will definitely soften everything up and get you relaxed and if you say she was hitting on you, and you two have been checking each other out when you get a glimpse of each other i see no reason at all why it wont work. whenever i actually do decide to talk to some girl i barely know, eye contact and that quick smile showing your interested really helps out

      ---------- Post added at 10:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:32 AM ----------

      Jenna wrote:

      It could count for overconfidence too, which is usually worse than no confidence at all. Generally, unless a girl is on the stupid side, she sees arrogance as a bad thing.


      theres nothing wrong with a man with strong confidence, and definitely doesnt mean she has to be stupid to like a very confident man. last time i checked people with confidence are the ones with bf's/gf's wives husbands and everything in between. people with little or no confidence stay single their whole lives because they are to scared to ask someone out. some girls like a confident man who can challenge them
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      Yeah right. Don't walk up to her and be all smug and egotistical. Generally women tend to like a shy guy, who seems to open up to them. So acting nervous around them may actually be beneficial.

      Of course, there's also the saying "be yourself." I suppose if you have a shy side, use it to your advantage, but if not, then try not to overcompensate for it by being a complete "dumb jock" if you know what I mean. Be nice.. lol
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      artizhay wrote:

      I think you skipped the word "over" in front of "confidence," creating a new word: "overconfidence."


      nope overconfidence, and having a strong confidence in yourself are two completely different things, i guess you would say almost the same as having "a lot" of confidence in yourself. i stand by what i put down

      Forseti wrote:

      Yeah right. Don't walk up to her and be all smug and egotistical. Generally women tend to like a shy guy, who seems to open up to them. So acting nervous around them may actually be beneficial.

      Of course, there's also the saying "be yourself." I suppose if you have a shy side, use it to your advantage, but if not, then try not to overcompensate for it by being a complete "dumb jock" if you know what I mean. Be nice.. lol



      your post is full of generalizations, some girls like shy, some girls like outspoken, some girls like bad boys, some girls like "dumb jokes" as you put it, and some girls like a confident man. since when is being confident or as you say "overcompensating" being a dumb jock? he was shy at first when he first wanted to go talk to her, and obviously that didnt turn out the way it did. some times in life you gotta display confidence and go get what you want
      F.i.L.A Forever.I.Love.Atlanta


    • Re: How to approach this?

      woodz wrote:

      last time i checked people with confidence are the ones with bf's/gf's wives husbands and everything in between. people with little or no confidence stay single their whole lives because they are to scared to ask someone out. some girls like a confident man who can challenge them


      woodz wrote:




      your post is full of generalizations


      Irony is awesome :)

    • Re: How to approach this?

      woodz wrote:

      ranting can catch you off gaurd, but on a real note lack of confidence does really affect peoples abilities to assert themselves in certain situations and especially when it comes to the opposite sex

      No. Effing. Way.

      On a real note, I think you mean overconfidence, not ranting. ;)
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      woodz wrote:

      ranting can catch you off gaurd, but on a real note lack of confidence does really affect peoples abilities to assert themselves in certain situations and especially when it comes to the opposite sex


      True, fair enough.

      But YES, you are correct. Everyone is different. Sweeping generalizations about what all girls want, or how all guys should act are generally a load of crap. Personally, whenever some guy comes up to me with an arrogant attitude, I may be smiling but the voice in my head is saying "Would this jackass PLEASE go away?" Whereas I'm sure there are plenty of girls that like that attitude, to me it's just a turnoff. That's why (getting back to the main topic) it's good to be able to read the girl you are interested in, or at least recognize when your personality type and hers just aren't going to mesh well.

    • Re: How to approach this?

      artizhay wrote:

      No. Effing. Way.

      On a real note, I think you mean overconfidence, not ranting. ;)


      no that was my rant

      Jenna wrote:

      True, fair enough.

      But YES, you are correct. Everyone is different. Sweeping generalizations about what all girls want, or how all guys should act are generally a load of crap. Personally, whenever some guy comes up to me with an arrogant attitude, I may be smiling but the voice in my head is saying "Would this jackass PLEASE go away?" Whereas I'm sure there are plenty of girls that like that attitude, to me it's just a turnoff. That's why (getting back to the main topic) it's good to be able to read the girl you are interested in, or at least recognize when your personality type and hers just aren't going to mesh well.


      completely agreed
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    • Re: How to approach this?

      First things, i find that most girls i know don't like the guys who just do nothing but try and get muscle to impress girls. I actually find most people who go to great lengths to do such a thing a douchebags and nobody really talks to them. But doing it to keep fit is more than respectable ;)

      You say you forgot to ask her name so i would start like this: "Hey, i forgot to ask what your name was." And then after that everything should probably fall into place.
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