Well, the first thing that I would have told you to do is to NOT tell either of them the way you feel. But it appears that ship has already sailed. Telling them did nothing at all for their situation, it only took some of the weight off your shoulders. In the long run, it's going to make things more complicated for all of you. But I would say that from here on out, it's a subject you should keep to yourself unless one of them specifically wants to talk about it.

Things are going to be awkward for a while, you just need to accept that. The best thing that you can do right now is just to chill out and wait to see what happens. It's obvious right now that all of your relationships are in a state of flux. Things are already uncertain and confusing, and you definitely shouldn't do anything right now to make them even more uncertain and confusing. Just give everything some time. Let the two of them lick their wounds and then see where they stand with each other and with you, and then decide what needs to be done from there.

Things may change and you may get your shot one day, but the important thing that you need to do right now is just be a friend to both of them.

I'm going to disagree and say I think you did the right thing by being honest with the both of them. There's a downfall to it though, you can't help who you're attracted to and the feelings you have for them, however, you should have had more respect for your friendship though, with both of them. I understand being drawn to somebody so much that all you want is the best for them, if offered the opportunity to help, you would.

It's a complicated situation and it's going to be a little awkward for sure, you need to respect their emotions and what they're going through and not interfere with the two of them unless they ask you. Whatever choice is made, you need to accept it.

Perhaps one day down the road you if she sees you in that way, and your friend doesn't mind the relationship, it could happen. I wouldn't put my hopes on it though, the one thing you need to worry about right now is giving concern to what matters the most to you, friendship.

I will guarantee you thing though, even though you were honest, I'm sure your friend felt a little betrayed or hurt by it. It's in your best interest to respect him and yourself.

Wow. I've been through this earlier in the year. My situation was exactly the same..except, well, it was a boy I liked. I made that same mistake.

Don't bring it up again. Ever. It really does just add more confusion to the equation. If one of them does, be very very careful what you say. Even if she says something that makes you hopeful there is a chance...still, be careful.

That's just my advice from personal experience.

oh christ, i swear we're in the same boat. I have the same fucking problem, and it really does pull all the energy out of you. It sounds like you're a really great friend for both of them and of course you care for them both dearly and don't wanna hurt either of their feelings which unfortunately hurts your own feelings i know how you feel its like geting the short side of the stick repeatedly.

the only difference between our situation that i read was that you said you would jump at the chance to be the one to make her happy if given the chance, as long as she's happy. And i think that's wonderful i honestly do. I myself can't really say the same (do to my own inner convictions) but i do want the best for the person i like in my situation as well. I mean as long as he's happy even if that means being with his gf of now I dont care, ill get some freakin peace at mind when i know for sure he is truly okay and happy. And Im sure thats how you feel aboout this girl in your situation as well.

Hello Oraia;

It seems like you're in quite a painful situation at the moment, but I promise you that in time, things will all get better. What you are going through is just what so many other teenagers go through - it's just something that most of us have to experience at some point in our lives. Love for someone we can't have. It's true that the most painful thing one can experience is knowing that the person you love loves someone else. But it's not so bad; not if you give things a chance. It's not going to be this way for long.

I must say that telling them both how you feel may have caused the problem to escalate slightly. I understand and commend Cade's ethics of being honest, however in this situation, you state that you so strongly wish this girl to be happy, and that you want to see her smiling again - well, adding to the problems would not have been the way to go. You see, she has made it clear that she was devastated to lose her boyfriend when they broke up. You see, after being with someone for years, losing them, a very important piece of your life, can seem so much more than it really is. Her life would have felt worthless, and now that the two of them seem to be fixing things slowly, she will not have any time or patience for anything else. She needs to concentrate on her relationship at the moment. For this reason alone, I think that your best actions now would be to stand back, and simply let things go naturally.

You need to just step back. They need to sort this out. If things go wrong, then that is where you come in - you be there for her or him (or both if possible) and make sure that she knows that you're there for her. You make it clear that you can be the shoulder for her to cry on, and you generally play the role of a good friend - because that is what you are.

Only when they break up, and you are sure that they are not going to get back together, can you even contemplate the idea of being with this girl. She wants her boyfriend. She is faithful to him. That is all that matters. She loves him, and you need to accept that now is not your time. If she was to make it clear that the two of them are not getting back together, then that, still, will not be your time. When such a monumental piece of your life falls away, then life itself can seem worthless. She will need a long time to get over it. Then, and only then, no matter how long it takes, will be your time.

You state that whatever the situation, your main concern is her happiness - for this reason, you must do nothing but be there for her. She has a big problem on her hands - trying to repair a relationship is difficult. Don't add to it.

Now, what I say next comes not from my own logic, but that of much wiser people. People who have lived life and have seen what happens. My grandpa, to be exact. He died recently, but in his life, he told me of everything he had lived through. Love is only a small part of it. He told me that, no matter how much it hurts now, no matter how much it feels like your heart is splitting into a thousand pieces - it is only because we are young, and we have no perspective yet. You will have many more sweethearts in your life, and you will love many more people. You will learn to accept that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some situations are just not for you. Don't let yourself be down because of this. Life is long, despite what many may say. You have a lifetime to witness many things - so is it truly worth it to be constricted by the barbed wire bonds of sour love? Just wait. Life goes on.

Good luck - much love dude.

~Anya x