A Girl I Can't Be With: Any Help?

    • A Girl I Can't Be With: Any Help?

      to put it simply, i've fallen in love with someone on my swim team, and i don't know what to do. i can't be with her simply because we swim together, and through that have become friends (not best friends, more like decently good friends). I don't know wether i should tell her and see what she feels (there's a chance she might like me back from what i've gathered) or just ignore this?

    • Re: A Girl I Can't Be With: Any Help?

      artizhay wrote:

      What have you gathered? Decisions like this are heavily dependent on tone of voice, body language, etc. So tell us.

      well, she doesn't seem to show any signs of dislike towards me. we get along pretty well, we can hold a conversation or joke around. and she got mad once when we got a fake argument about something and our coach told us to "stop flirting."

    • Re: A Girl I Can't Be With: Any Help?

      First of all, when a girl has a conversation with a guy, it doesn't automatically mean she likes him. It's just having a conversation. It's what people do. I don't think this is very substantial "evidence" that she returns any feelings for you.

      How much do you care about her friendship with you? If you tell her and she doesn't feel the same way, she may think, "Oh, this guy is just talking to me to get with me." Plus she will probably think you're looking at her in more than just a friend way when you see her in the bathing suit. This could creep her out or make her feeling uncomfortable.

      That's if she doesn't feel the same way. She may have some sort of feelings for you, but I honestly cannot tell from the meager information.

      If you want to risk it, then go ahead and tell her. Instead of flat-out being like, "Hey you're sexy and I want to date you," maybe start small and compliment her. Her swimming style, something she's wearing (when she has clothes on >.> lucky), or an interest of hers. This may begin to give her the idea that you're attracted to her, but you don't have to spontaneously say it, which is good for both of you. I still wouldn't outright say it; after building all of that up and she thinks you're a sweet guy, then ask her on a date somewhere.

      Good luck to you, broski.
      Sorry.
      I've wanted to say broski all night.
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    • Re: A Girl I Can't Be With: Any Help?

      ok artizhay i see what youre saying, and i'll address you in order.
      -first, yeah that isn't really a lot of evidence, but its better than most situations, especially with me. -secondly, i care a lot about our friendship, hardly because i like her. more for somehow we've ended up pretty close in most swimming matters. we're pretty close times wise, and we do mostly the same events, so its kind of developed into a friendly competition. This is good too because she always get down on herself, so i try to keep her motivated, sense she's been going through a lot lately. it runs deeper than just emotional attraction, i guess.
      -thirdly, if i were to say anything, we'd be at an agreement that it wasn't because she's in a suit. most swimmers, especially on this team for some reason, are fine with the appearances business that comes with the sport.
      -lastly, broski is awesome. use it as much as possible

      ---------- Post added at 10:15 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 AM ----------

      just throwing it out there, inter-team relationships would probably be a) complicated, b) unneededly dramatic, and c) probably not allowed