Long distance complications

    • Long distance complications

      A couple of months ago my girlfriend went to the netherlands for a foreign exchange program for a year. We have been in a long distance relationship since then.

      Well, things have been going kind of meh lately. I don't really feel like talking to her much, I don't know why. It just seems really awkward every time we talk.

      I kind of want to break up. I just can't bring myself to talk to her about it.

      She has been very sad and lonely lately. She has no friends there and her friends here barely talk to her.

      I don't know if its because I'm trying to avoid feeling guilty, but I always hate to see her sad. I hate it when she cries. I don't want to ever see her unhappy.

      If I don't break up with her then she will probably be happier. However I can't see myself lasting in this relationship for much longer.

      If I do break up I will still talk to her almost every day. I'm the only one she talks to now and I'd hate for her to not have anyone.

      Thanks in advance.

    • Re: Long distance complications

      Well, I think in this situation you have to do whats best for YOU. If you're unhappy in the relationship, then theres no sense in continuing to put yourself through unhappiness. Maybe if you guys were to break up, she would have to find other people to talk to, hence making her more social. I know that it would be hard on her, and probably even on you, but this is whats best for you. She'll heal over time. When will you guys be reunited again? If you do decide to break up with her, let her know that you just need some space for now from stress, and maybe when you guys are back in the same area theres a chance you can re-kindle what you once had. Let her know that even though you don't want to be in a relationship now, you'd still like to talk to her and keep her company.




      “We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
      -J.K. Rowling

    • Re: Long distance complications

      Long distance never really works. I have heard people claim that it does...but have never met anyone who can actually prove it. I think you are losing interest because you are under certain pressure that you must have the relationship going despite the distance. and I agree with Linda, being in a relationship just for the sake of another person is not really doing them a favor, it is the exact opposite, it is selfish in a way because you dont want to hurt another person because you know they will be upset with you and you will feel bad. note: i am not blaming you, just saying.
      Besides, the longer you stay with her, the harder it will be to break up which will make the "relationship" a total mess.
      +You can not be the only thing she hangs on to for friendship while she is far away because first of all it will lead her to isolate herself from others while almost idolizing you...and since you have no interest....disaster of epic proportions.
      I think you are making a wise choice by breaking it off with her. Although she might not like it and it might sting for a bit, it will be much better in the long run.
      The King of Mind-Fuck

    • Re: Long distance complications

      .... This isn't a debate thread.

      The OP didn't ask for a debate on whether long distance relationships work.

      OP:

      It's really all up to you. You gotta go with your gut feeling. If you love her and want to be with her no matter what, you'll be with her. But if you're just not happy, then change it so you are. Nobody deserves to be depressed.

      You do you. :D