Another BestFriend thread

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      Yep, and he's sitting right here next to me right now :)

      I won't bore you with the exact details, they are already described at length here

      It's not an easy thing to do, and it IS a risk you have to be sure you want to take. If it doesn't work out, then you stand a pretty good chance of losing your friendship, regardless of any understandings the two of you have with each other in the beginning. That's just the way it works, no breakups are every completely amicable and there are bound to be hard feelings. But the thing you need to ask yourself is whether or not the potential benefit outweighs the potential risk.

      Looking back, I will say that it was without a doubt the best decision I have made up to this point in my life, I have never been happier. That's not to discount all the indecision and worry I had to start off with. Those were good things, they made me really consider my decision and make sure that it was the right one.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      And it's probably a good idea that at least one of you is thinking clearly. Jenna made me crazy through this. i saw her as being indecisive or not into me, but she was just thinking through everything. i was completely ready to jump in and worry about what happened if we broke up later. She didn't do that. She wanted to look at it from every angle before committing. is this whole thing just hypothetical? or do you have a reason that you are wondering?

      Shute;2172895 wrote:

      You are in the classic suck position.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      Awww you to sound so awesome together :) Haha! I hope you too have a great relationship :)

      And yeah... this is kinda coming from something. Cause i've been reading these bestfriend stories turning ugly... and that scared me. so i just wanted to read up on people who have succeeded and maybe those stories may push me :D

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      I just read Jenna's story now. And Wow. Nice going Lee! Way to take a chance, wish i had the same guts you did. Condolence to you btw Jenna, may she rest in peace.

      But the thing is i know for a fact she doesn't feel the same way i do about her. I'm just being super optimistic about it, and that maybe causing me to be illusioned and not see logically. Sure we've shared a lot of time and secrets with each other, and practically stay connected to each other everytime. We've even agreed to be each others back up for marriage :)) Like, when we both reach 33 and still not engaged/married we'd marry each other. But now, sometimes when i tell her about how her 'ex-bf' teases us on getting together, cause we're close friends too, she says stuff like "NEVER GONNA HAPPEN". I'm just clinging to the hope that she too is afraid of being in a relationship and losing our friendship. Somebody please tell me I'm wrong to assume that.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      I'm not trying to get your hopes up or anything, but we were the exact same way. If you had asked me two years ago if there was any chance I would be engaged to Lee today, I would have said "absolutely zero". I would have meant it too. At the time I suppose the feelings were there, I just didn't recognize them and definitely wasn't prepared to deal with them at the time.

      I do like the way you are handling it, though. Stay positive about this, the most important thing that you can do is to keep being her friend and just see where things go from here. The entire dynamic of your relationship might change next year, next month... hell, tomorrow. Just make sure that you are making the most of the opportunities you have and use each of them to show her that you care about her. You might not be able to come straight out and say it, but saying it is the least important part. Showing it is much more important.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      I heard a story a long time ago, and I loved it. When I was in your shoes it made me laugh in a bitter kind of way:

      A girl has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

      Fortunately, it's not always like this but man it feels like it when its happening. But i agree with Jen. Go nuts. You are going to have to tell her the way you feel eventually, but in the mean time just show her how badass you are :D

      Shute;2172895 wrote:

      You are in the classic suck position.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      True that :) Thanks Jenna :D You've helped me clear my mind. This moment of doubting has left and going back to my own ways. Keep her tight by my side, and let things roll as they're meant to. I did add one thing i got from you though... "Just make sure that you are making the most of the opportunities you have and use each of them to show her that you care about her" Thanks :)

      And Lee! Didn't you hate it when she was telling you about her current boyfriend/relationship and the stuff they did before? But at the same time love that she's telling you cause you can't help but know everything that's going on with her and that love that she's telling you cause you know that means she trusts you? :D Double edged sword. haha




      ---------- Post added at 03:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:45 AM ----------

      Opprobrium wrote:

      I heard a story a long time ago, and I loved it. When I was in your shoes it made me laugh in a bitter kind of way:

      A girl has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

      Fortunately, it's not always like this but man it feels like it when its happening. But i agree with Jen. Go nuts. You are going to have to tell her the way you feel eventually, but in the mean time just show her how badass you are :D



      HAHAHAHA! I love this! I gotta use this :rofl: Probably show it to her too, cause that's just what we do and not because of this particular topic O.o And BTW. Coincidence, her name is Jen too :)

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      Tomyboy1337 wrote:



      And Lee! Didn't you hate it when she was telling you about her current boyfriend/relationship and the stuff they did before? But at the same time love that she's telling you cause you can't help but know everything that's going on with her and that love that she's telling you cause you know that means she trusts you? :D Double edged sword. haha


      Hah yeah. This made me fricken crazy. But you are right, i recognized that she was talking to me because i was the person she trusted the most. It didn't make it much easier though. I do want to point out that even though i thought about giving her advice to back my own agenda, i never did it. There were plenty of times that i wanted to tell her to dump some guy for no reason other than to get a shot with her myself, but i managed to talk myself out of doing it.

      Shute;2172895 wrote:

      You are in the classic suck position.

    • Re: Another BestFriend thread

      Opprobrium wrote:

      Hah yeah. This made me fricken crazy. But you are right, i recognized that she was talking to me because i was the person she trusted the most. It didn't make it much easier though. I do want to point out that even though i thought about giving her advice to back my own agenda, i never did it. There were plenty of times that i wanted to tell her to dump some guy for no reason other than to get a shot with her myself, but i managed to talk myself out of doing it.


      I wouldn't be mad if I had found out he DID do that. He didn't care for most of my boyfriends anyway, but it was usually for good reasons. And looking back, I can't say that a single gripe he had against any of them wasn't legitimate. Even after I knew that he was interested in me, he still gave me advice mostly impartially, definitely as impartial as I guess he could have been. I'm not going to say 'if', I'm going to be positive and say 'when'. "When" the two of you get together, I'm sure she will appreciate if you gave her the same respect. She will know that the trust she has always put in you was well placed :)