"Not good enough"

    • "Not good enough"

      This might sound weird, if you don't feel the same way.
      I know I have done it OK at school, that no-one expected me to go out of.... not high-school, but the school before (from 13-16) with grades above 5, but I did. No-one told me to get a job at an age of 13, or even move out to study t 16. But I did, and I'm doing OK. I'm still alive.

      But still, it doesn't feel like I've done enough. It feels like I'm some kind of a failiure, and that nobody is happy with what I'm doing. I want someone to love me, and tell me that I make them happy. But still; I know I'll never be able to make anyone happy. I can't. I'm just not good enough for anyone, I'm just dreaming about being that.

    • Re: "Not good enough"

      You just need to love yourself and accept yourself, I spent a lot of time trying to be accepted by others, but the truth is, others are others, they come and go, you can always count on yourself.

      You need to like yourself, and feel worthy of everything you have, because you are, and nothing should take that away from you.

    • Re: "Not good enough"

      The problem is that you are locked into this merit mentality, where you are associating others love for you to be directly related to your personal achievements. This is a very self-destructive perception to have, because everyone fails eventually, but whereas failure is just an accepted thing for most people, you will see it as a catastrophe because those around you will love you less if you fail. I don't know where you got this, but you are almost certainly wrong. I have a hard time believing that anyone in your friends or family will abandon you if you get a bad grade, or you don't excel in your job, etc.

      It's hard, but you need to start making decisions about your life based on what you want, not on the exceptions you think other have toward you. I promise you that you won't ever be truly happy as long as you are living your life as though you are trying to please everyone except your self.

    • Re: "Not good enough"

      Jenna wrote:

      The problem is that you are locked into this merit mentality, where you are associating others love for you to be directly related to your personal achievements. This is a very self-destructive perception to have, because everyone fails eventually, but whereas failure is just an accepted thing for most people, you will see it as a catastrophe because those around you will love you less if you fail. I don't know where you got this, but you are almost certainly wrong. I have a hard time believing that anyone in your friends or family will abandon you if you get a bad grade, or you don't excel in your job, etc.

      It's hard, but you need to start making decisions about your life based on what you want, not on the exceptions you think other have toward you. I promise you that you won't ever be truly happy as long as you are living your life as though you are trying to please everyone except your self.


      I agree ^^
      [SIZE=3][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun![/SIZE]

    • Re: "Not good enough"

      Based on how you feel now and what your family (I'm assuming when you say "no one," you mean your family) has expected of you in the past, I think your feelings are due to a lack of support they've given you. I don't mean to criticize your family, but if they've never told you what will make them proud or what they expect of you, you think you have nothing to live for and therefore feel empty, or unaccomplished.

      You have to learn to being independent (which you've already accomplished) and living up to your own expectations are all you need to do. Do what you expect yourself to do and you'll be happy. Of course, you can find friends who support what you do, but don't think that you have to do everything they expect you to do or what they think is best. Do what you think is best.

      Honestly, I think you are a better person than most people out there. People who are living with their parents due to laziness, don't hold jobs because of a lack of motivation, or are failing school due to carelessness are all people who didn't learn to live independently and do what they know they need to do. You have done what is right and you should be proud of yourself, regardless of how your family or anyone else feels.

      You overcame a lack of support and motivated yourself to become an independent, hard-working, self-sufficient person, and that is something to be admired.
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    • Re: "Not good enough"

      Oh..... Thanks. I didn't really think it was possible to say/write anything that would even help a little on how I feel now. So thanks a lot, it really helped!

      I undarstand that I shouldn't do everything I think people expect from me, but it has always been like this. I am the one who "does everything" when no one else want to, or something like that.
      When I say no one, I really mean no one. I had one friend the 10 first years at school, then he abused me and destroyed everything I had of self confidence. And he still does, and I can't get him away. My family is the same, they don't care rather I do things on my own or not. They just want to get me away. Now I've got some friends, but I can't talk to them about things like this, they would go to the school nurse and then hell would be running.

      but thanks artizhay, you made it sound like I've done something right. I will keep that way of thinking the next days, even if you are right nor not.