Hello Erika..Diverting your attention on something can help you cope more on your situation.

Hiya Erika (love your name).

Losing someone you love so dearly for such a long amount of time would have an impact on anyone, and I understand how you mean. I've lost people before. The thing is, your brother IS going to come back, and when he does, things are going to be so wonderful, because hun, missing the people you love when they're gone is a good thing. You may be so close, but the fact that he is going away for a while isn't bad. It allows him to grow and meet his aspirations and allows you to learn how to cope, which will benefit you both in the future.

People do need to go through difficulties so that they know how to handle them in the future, so in a way this is also a good thing. But you need to know how to cope, of course. So how can you do this?

You say that you've had coping methods before that have proven to bring more difficulties - so I don't need to tell you that they are best left forgotten about. In the times that you find yourself missing him more than anything, you need to find a way of taking your mind off your feelings. My grandfather recently died, and I was very close to him. To help, whenever I felt too bad, I'd watch a Lee Evans D.V.D (guaranteed to work), write, draw - anything at all. Anything that requires a lot of concentration. It usually helps if it's funny, creative, or includes a lot of social activity.

Now - I often tell people that looking into the future and past too much is counter-productive, because you are searching for happiness and missing what happens in the present. However, in your case, it is the near future, and WILL happen - so I don't want you to think about how much you miss him. I don't want you to think about the things he did that made you smile. What you need to think about is what it will be like when he returns. How special it'll be. Do that aye? You'll feel much better

And hey if you can send a letter or two to him that'd help too.

Much love dude.

~Anya x

No problem dude - and you've been really smart about all this and done all the right things. New books, plans and whatnot - and helping your mother will actually help you too. You're gonna be fine Glad you're taking it well. Much love dude.

~Anya

How touching! :cries:
Well I don't have any sibs serving active duty but I can relate to the feeling that you've some what lost a relative that's close to you because my baby brother went blind on Sunday Morning and I feel like I lost apart of him since he will grow to not remember my face or what any of his relatives look like.

The way I cope and I advise you can attempt to do the same is by remembering all the happy positive memories you've shared with your brother applying wishful thinking that he remains safe in the comfort of your thoughts. I suppose writing to him as much as possible if you can would also ease the anxiety? I hope he's well and you can keep him motivated to reach home safe.

I'm really sorry, I don't know completely how you feel but I do have a pretty good idea. My Dad is a military contractor (a supervisor now) and is currently in Afghanistan. He never has to leave base except when coming home (only every 4 1/2 months) but, it's very scary for me. Of course he is on a base but people get killed on base a lot. I worry a lot...but my way of coping is really giving myself a few days after he leaves to cry and be depressed but then forcing myself to get busy. I don't want to usually but I know I have too!! I know it sounds impossible but when you're busy you really do start to not think about it so much. I know it must be unbelievably hard for you and I'm sorry My brother is going to do the same kind of work as my dad next year so believe me I feel your pain. I hope it works out well and you'll probably get to tell him you love him very soon. Good luck and pm me if you wanna talk

You just buy a pack of sour worms, throw them on the bed and eat em :p