Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

    • Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      I was thinking about this earlier, because in past relationships I was always told I expect too much out of them. I felt as if I didn't really ask for much at all, but according to them, I was asking for/expecting too much. This always seemed a bit unreasonable to me, but I never really fought about it, because I hate confrontation. I personally believe that if I really love someone, I'm willing to give them everything. Be their everything, etc. So my question to you guys is...

      Do you want everything from the person you love?

      and..

      Would you give everything to the person you love?

      Why or why not?

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      What exactly do you mean by everything? There's a limit as to how much one should expect, but people nowadays really don't put in enough effort.

      I'd go well out my way for a girl who can prove she's worth it, but at the same time I'll get annoyed if you expect me to text you every second of the day and try to keep everything I do on lockdown. My expectations for a girl build as trust builds, but that also takes a while.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      The Kid wrote:

      What exactly do you mean by everything? There's a limit as to how much one should expect, but people nowadays really don't put in enough effort.

      I'd go well out my way for a girl who can prove she's worth it, but at the same time I'll get annoyed if you expect me to text you every second of the day and try to keep everything I do on lockdown. My expectations for a girl build as trust builds, but that also takes a while.



      I don't mean like keeping you on lockdown or anything, that's just awful.

      But like...
      - Small romantic gestures.
      - Calling when you say you will.
      - Even just saying nice things.

      Things like that. I always wanted things like that, and was always told that I wanted too much.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Personally, i believe that is hand in hand with the definition of 'love'.
      I believe if you love someone, you can give everything... And if your partner isn't giving you their all, they might not feel the same way about you. And that might not be love.
      [COLOR="Black"][SIZE="2"]Keep your feet on the ground;
      When your head's in the clouds.      [/SIZE][/COLOR]

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Maybe the problem isn't so much what you want, but how much of it that you're asking for. With me I like to feel things as opposed to just saying them. Like you might think I don't say "I love you" often enough but when I do it on my own free will as opposed to feeling like its demanded then its that much better. Feeling like I HAVE to say or do something kills it for me, but if I care about the girl I'll say it regardless. On the other hand a lot of guys aren't all that romantic, so a reminder every now and then could be necessary to remind them that you like it when they show they care as long as you don't overdo it.

      As for them calling when they say they're going to, that's a must. If they don't keep their word then it means nothing.

      The post was edited 3 times, last by The Kid ().

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Having great expectations inevitably leads to suffering as things rarely work out how we would like or at all for that matter. There is a big problem with fault finding and expecting a huge amount in today's societies, it causes a lot of stress and suffering. If we head into a relationship with somebody we like, that we want to get to know if little expectations of what will come, then you will find it a lot easier going. If it doesn't work out or you do not connect with this person too well, so be it. We cannot control most things that happen in our lives, so instead of fighting, going against them with all of our energy, just roll with it like a tree swaying in the breeze. Try to focus on the person's good aspects, because everybody has them and we tend to focus on the faults, pick out the problems and let them destroy what is good in this world. This is my opinion anyway :)
      ''there is no way to peace, peace is the way''

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Yeah I can give all that and always would to the person I'm with, I've learned not to expect much though... I just try to go with the flow, which kind of sucks but I'm young so if someone doesn't feel like calling when they say they will or whatever I can afford to just leave and not give a shit.
      [CENTER][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

      [/CENTER]

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      true that dusky boy! I am the type of person who keeps to my words if I can and am punctual, remember things of my significant other and make the effort. I cannot control other people so why get stressed then these things do not happen back? getting stressed and angry will just cause you pain and annoy them. So either deal with it or not have them around lol
      ''there is no way to peace, peace is the way''

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      a dream is that they actually care about me they actually respect me hug me instead of yell at me all the time. They listen to what i have to say about my feelings instead of blowing them off. They dont hit me when i do something they dont like. They dont call me things i dont want to be call. i cant believe i could date someone who gave me what i give them. i dont know what to do..

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Heather wrote:


      But like...
      - Small romantic gestures.
      - Calling when you say you will.
      - Even just saying nice things.

      Things like that. I always wanted things like that, and was always told that I wanted too much.

      I don't think that's too much to ask at at all. You should be able to give/expect all the love, trust, respect, loyalty, honesty, care, and acceptance one has to offer, and I think all the things you listed fit into that. But then again, you shouldn't have to expect it - it should just come naturally.

      I draw the line emotionally, though. Way too many people limit themselves by thinking they should stay with someone and give up other dreams because of it ("It doesn't matter if _____ has a better program, but if I really loved him I wouldn't move away"). As long as it doesn't interfere with your own hopes and dreams, I don't think there's any limitations on what you can give and get. :)

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Heather wrote:

      I was thinking about this earlier, because in past relationships I was always told I expect too much out of them. I felt as if I didn't really ask for much at all, but according to them, I was asking for/expecting too much. This always seemed a bit unreasonable to me, but I never really fought about it, because I hate confrontation. I personally believe that if I really love someone, I'm willing to give them everything. Be their everything, etc. So my question to you guys is...

      Do you want everything from the person you love?

      and..

      Would you give everything to the person you love?

      Why or why not?


      I wouldnt want everything from that person, nor the other way around. I start to feel like im getting chocked when the other person expects too much from me.


      and I agree with this

      Scaredycrow wrote:

      As long as it doesn't interfere with your own hopes and dreams, I don't think there's any limitations on what you can give and get. :)
      [CENTER]
      [/CENTER]

      The post was edited 2 times, last by Papa Bear ().

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      I think when we love or like someone its impossible not to expect something it programed into our genes we fornicate and give everything up, then we break ties and move on till we have nothing to give (I guess thats where marriage comes in, but divorce still lies there).
      [COLOR="Red"]You're a man in the highest category of Moron.[/COLOR]

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Heather wrote:

      I was thinking about this earlier, because in past relationships I was always told I expect too much out of them. I felt as if I didn't really ask for much at all, but according to them, I was asking for/expecting too much. This always seemed a bit unreasonable to me, but I never really fought about it, because I hate confrontation. I personally believe that if I really love someone, I'm willing to give them everything. Be their everything, etc. So my question to you guys is...

      Do you want everything from the person you love?

      and..

      Would you give everything to the person you love?

      Why or why not?


      Funny you ask this, cuz I gotta tell you. An ex girlfriend of mine also expected a lot from me and she told me this. When we talked about it, I was like I am giving you my all. But she would say, no you are not, because you don't come and see me out of the blue, when she used to come out of the blue. And then she would say, I would have to tell you what I would like when you should know what I like after the time we have spent together. Shit like that. And to tell you the truth, this has happened before with my ex girlfriends. And I have to admit, I know I should have done more, but I didn't push for more, because it is tiring. And I loved them. They were serious girlfriends of mine. I just believe that all guys don't give our 100 percent, because we are guys. We are just not that sensitive. Girls are more detailed and shit. We're not, we don't have that in ourselves. I don't know. Don't take my word for it, but I'm positive all guys only give like their 50 to 70 percent in a relationship and girls give 90 to 110 percent. Girls may not like that, but it is a fact.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      I think you should give as much as you can give to the person you are with and pray that you will get back as much as you give. I dont think its unreasonable to give all you have because if you really do love someone you wont think twice about putting in that effort, it just comes natural, you will want to share everything with that person, it the little sacrifices in relationships which what makes them last, by giving it your all, at least you can say if the relationship ends that you gave it everything you had and you couldnt put anymore in and hold your head up high instead of wondering what could have been. But ofcourse there are extremes to this by like being too clingy and stuff like that, soo i say give it your all, but do it in moderations.
      People think the Irish are a bunch of drunks and brawlers, and that makes us soo mad sometimes that we just want to get drunk and punch somebody.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by kopite ().

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      ANTI CONDOM wrote:


      Funny you ask this, cuz I gotta tell you. An ex girlfriend of mine also expected a lot from me and she told me this. When we talked about it, I was like I am giving you my all. But she would say, no you are not, because you don't come and see me out of the blue, when she used to come out of the blue. And then she would say, I would have to tell you what I would like when you should know what I like after the time we have spent together. Shit like that. And to tell you the truth, this has happened before with my ex girlfriends. And I have to admit, I know I should have done more, but I didn't push for more, because it is tiring. And I loved them. They were serious girlfriends of mine. I just believe that all guys don't give our 100 percent, because we are guys. We are just not that sensitive. Girls are more detailed and shit. We're not, we don't have that in ourselves. I don't know. Don't take my word for it, but I'm positive all guys only give like their 50 to 70 percent in a relationship and girls give 90 to 110 percent. Girls may not like that, but it is a fact.


      Yeah, I get what you mean. That's the thing, I expected less than what I was willing to give. Way less. And according to him, it was still too much. The last year or so of our relationship was long distance, the first year we lived like 2 miles from each other. But since we were long distance, we had worked out an agreement of how often we talked to each other, because if we didn't agree to something, I knew he wouldn't bother at all. So, we had it set up where we'd talk 3 times a week. Well, of course, he'd never keep up with the agreement, and I would get upset and then he accused me of wanting too much out of him, blah blah blah. Part of me just wonders if I really did expect too much, or if he just wasn't willing to put any effort into it.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Heather wrote:

      Yeah, I get what you mean. That's the thing, I expected less than what I was willing to give. Way less. And according to him, it was still too much. The last year or so of our relationship was long distance, the first year we lived like 2 miles from each other. But since we were long distance, we had worked out an agreement of how often we talked to each other, because if we didn't agree to something, I knew he wouldn't bother at all. So, we had it set up where we'd talk 3 times a week. Well, of course, he'd never keep up with the agreement, and I would get upset and then he accused me of wanting too much out of him, blah blah blah. Part of me just wonders if I really did expect too much, or if he just wasn't willing to put any effort into it.


      I understand completely. Believe me when I tell you, girls always find an arrangement to be fair for the guy. But for the guys out there, we always want less. For the simple reason, cuz once we have a girl, we are interested in sex. I guarantee you if you punish him without sex, he would come by everyday to see if he can get any. It is in out blood. We are interested only in sex.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      Heather wrote:

      Yeah, I get what you mean. That's the thing, I expected less than what I was willing to give. Way less. And according to him, it was still too much. The last year or so of our relationship was long distance, the first year we lived like 2 miles from each other. But since we were long distance, we had worked out an agreement of how often we talked to each other, because if we didn't agree to something, I knew he wouldn't bother at all. So, we had it set up where we'd talk 3 times a week. Well, of course, he'd never keep up with the agreement, and I would get upset and then he accused me of wanting too much out of him, blah blah blah. Part of me just wonders if I really did expect too much, or if he just wasn't willing to put any effort into it.


      Heather why don't you try playing the opposite card next time something like that happens. Like pretend your indifferent or it doesn't bother you. if you don't show too much interest in it, guys are gonna try to keep you interested in them. they are going to make the effort. reverse psychology works. when girls want to talk to you or be with you all the time, you start feeling like you can't breath. When girls do everything you tell them to do and they are willing to give everything for you, it's good for a little while but then it starts to get boring andd you just feel like taking advantage of them cuz they'll do almost anything for you. And when girls get upset and mad and confront you because you forget little things that they feel are important, we won't even get why your mad in the first place. Some of the stuff girls might find a big deal, guys really don't.

      However, not to be harsh/mean or anything, but i don't think talking 3 days a week is expecting too much. I just think he was losing interest. it's just what I think. when your still interested in the person you'd try to talk to them at least more than 3 days a week. and I'm not saying if he breaks that "agreement" or whatever every now and then, then he just doesn't like you anymore, nah, I don't mean that. but if he kept bailing out on you and it became a routine, and then he'd get mad when you talked to him about it, then I think he was just getting bored, or losing interest. He'd just use "you expect too much out of him", as an excuse to fall apart.
      [CENTER]
      [/CENTER]

      The post was edited 4 times, last by Papa Bear ().

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      I agree with jerry 100%. Funny how I said the exact same thing jerry did.... all the time.

      And he didn't even DESERVE you and you know this. The things that went on while you were gone you KNOW were true and I even saw some of them with my own eyes and he still denied them to you, making me look like an asshole... Despite how much I hated his existence, I would NEVER lie to you about shit like that.

      You are so much better off without him around. I love you through and through and I only want the best for you. And you and I have been through a lot together and our friendship is the strongest... but there comes a time where when someone isn't treating you with the respect and care that you deserve, that you just need to move on.

      And we already know he doesn't care about you. His words have no meaning to them and he doesn't know what loving someone means. He's a silly boy who even though is older than you, is so much less mature than you. Your life is better off without him and if he even steps within 10 feet from you when you come back here... He'll wish he hadn't.

      loooooove you, bff.

    • Re: Would you give/expect everything to/from the person you love?

      kellylee wrote:

      I agree with jerry 100%. Funny how I said the exact same thing jerry did.... all the time.

      And he didn't even DESERVE you and you know this. The things that went on while you were gone you KNOW were true and I even saw some of them with my own eyes and he still denied them to you, making me look like an asshole... Despite how much I hated his existence, I would NEVER lie to you about shit like that.

      You are so much better off without him around. I love you through and through and I only want the best for you. And you and I have been through a lot together and our friendship is the strongest... but there comes a time where when someone isn't treating you with the respect and care that you deserve, that you just need to move on.

      And we already know he doesn't care about you. His words have no meaning to them and he doesn't know what loving someone means. He's a silly boy who even though is older than you, is so much less mature than you. Your life is better off without him and if he even steps within 10 feet from you when you come back here... He'll wish he hadn't.

      loooooove you, bff.


      I know, I know, I know. I don't even give a shit about him anymore. I was just using the situation to give an example. I feel like it's ruined my view on what to expect out of someone. Like, I'm okay with only getting a little bit, because it's better than the nothing I got before. And like I get shocked when people try to give me good things. And do nice things for me. It makes me feel like...I'm not deserving of it. Like, it shocks me. I'm generally baffled.

      I don't even know what I'm getting at here. Rambling mostly.

      I just want to know what I deserve, really.