Taking Sides?

    • Taking Sides?

      Lately it's bee really hard trying to make plans with my friends. It's a fairly large group of us but we cant ever seem to be on the same page when it comes to meeting up. With rides and money issues put aside for a second, there always seems to be some kind of conflict in the way. And the issue is always centered around the same person.

      Although it is a big group of us, I tend to hang out with my friends Carmen and Lee more since we all live closer to each other. Well everyone is okay with Lee except for my friend Leah and her girlfriend Andrea.

      So the simple thing to do would be make plans with Leah and her girlfriend and others sometimes and than make plans with Carmen and others sometimes. But there's one problem.

      Carmen is the type of person who likes to be included in EVERYTHING, and say im planning something with other friends Carmen always finds outta and either invities herself or pities someone into bringer her along.

      I love hanging out with Carmen but it would be nice to hang out with my other friends too, and without all the uneasiness Carmen brings when she's not invitied . . . i feel like i have to pick a side, and i dont know what i shud do.


      advice? thoughts? comments? Thanks.
      Being crazy isn't enough

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      I found a mistake it should say Carmen where it says Lee, sorry.

      Aimle :) wrote:

      Although it is a big group of us, I tend to hang out with my friends Carmen and Lee more since we all live closer to each other. Well everyone is okay with Lee (i mean Carmen) except for my friend Leah and her girlfriend Andrea.


      ---------- Post added at 06:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:53 AM ----------

      8MilesHigh wrote:

      Does Carmen know she's not unliked by your other friends?

      Im sorry could you reword that question for me?
      Being crazy isn't enough

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      eswalle wrote:

      is there a reason why they hate each other? if there is then try to mend the problem so that they could be friends. if you want any easy way out of this is that choose neither always works let it work itself helped me out on many occasions


      they use to be best friends but then Leah started going out with Andrea and it fall apart after that. . . but it's not because of Andrea because Carmen was friends with her too just not as close as Leah. After they started going out Carmen felt abandon in a way and started avoiding Leah and Andrea when they started coming around regardless of if they wanted to hang out with her. . . the awkwardness turned into bitterness and I dont see it working out its already been 3 yrs almost

      ---------- Post added at 07:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:05 AM ----------

      8MilesHigh wrote:

      Does Carmen know she's not unliked by your other friends?

      yes . . . if you are asking does she know that she's like by our other friends and yes, if you are asking does she know that she is not liked by just leah
      Being crazy isn't enough

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      Aimle :) wrote:

      Lately it's bee really hard trying to make plans with my friends. It's a fairly large group of us but we cant ever seem to be on the same page when it comes to meeting up. With rides and money issues put aside for a second, there always seems to be some kind of conflict in the way. And the issue is always centered around the same person.

      Although it is a big group of us, I tend to hang out with my friends Carmen and Lee more since we all live closer to each other. Well everyone is okay with Lee except for my friend Leah and her girlfriend Andrea.

      So the simple thing to do would be make plans with Leah and her girlfriend and others sometimes and than make plans with Carmen and others sometimes. But there's one problem.

      Carmen is the type of person who likes to be included in EVERYTHING, and say im planning something with other friends Carmen always finds outta and either invities herself or pities someone into bringer her along.

      I love hanging out with Carmen but it would be nice to hang out with my other friends too, and without all the uneasiness Carmen brings when she's not invitied . . . i feel like i have to pick a side, and i dont know what i shud do.


      advice? thoughts? comments? Thanks.

      Tell Carmen on the phone to meet you at some abandoned location in a far away district. While she's gone, you can go hang out with Leah and Andrea. :)

      In all seriousness though, I think you should tell Carmen in a nice manner that, while you do understand she likes to always be included in things, it would be good if this time you could go alone to visit your other friends.

      If she seems disappointed, convince her that you'll make it up to her afterward.
      If you smacked a kid with a bottle of 'Johnson's No More Tears', wouldn't it create beautiful irony?

      The post was edited 1 time, last by Matt93 ().

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      Matt93 wrote:

      If she seems disappointed, convince her that you'll make it up to her afterward.



      I have tried that :( and it usually doesnt work out well. Carmen tends to be really self-conscience and when I tried doing that in the past she often got depressed and started closing off towards me. She said it feels like I don't want her around or i don't enjoy her company, even when I try to explain i want to hang out with my other friends too. In a way, i guess she thinks she should be enough for me, and she doesn't really like having the attention away from her in a way. But even despite this i cant seem to do anything, Ive known her since the 6th grade and id feel wrong if i left her completely =/
      Being crazy isn't enough

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      stormyrasberry wrote:

      You shouldn't post names
      Though, just because some of them do not like one another, you can still make comprimises. You can spend time with all of your friends, but build it around a schedule so you have time for all of them.


      i didnt use their real names. And i can't plan things around their scheludes to much beause of the time comflict with classes and whatnot. But when I can Carmen either finds away to get there, or gets butt hurt when she's missed out on it.
      Being crazy isn't enough

    • Re: Taking Sides?

      I had this conflict too, when i use to be in a big group of friends. But now we all grew up and went seperate ways. Anyways, maybe you should try talking to her, but if you have already did that, and she didn't opt out to take it well. Maybe you need to tell her then, that you think that it's best to just give you space.

      If none of that works, than why not invite soemone else along with you, and prove a point with that other person. And if she feels left out, than you need to point it out that, she/he is a good friend and that her/him hanging out with you with other people is getting on your nerves, that they need to cool it a bit.
      [SIZE=3][SIZE=3]My heartis taken <3[/SIZE]
      [SIZE=3]What can i say? [/SIZE][SIZE=3]i'm just different ")[/SIZE]
      [/SIZE]      [SIZE=3][SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][/SIZE]