What's wrong with just keeping the baby? If you keep it, doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with the father. A lot of single parents cope just fine. He doesn't sound like the sort of person you want in your baby's life, and if you want to be in your baby's life you shouldn't let him force you out of it. To be perfectly honest, it has nothing to do with him. So basically, it is possible to have the child as your own and not have anything to do with the father. If you want him in your child's life, something can be worked out where you have to see him as little time as possible.
pregnant ohyeah...
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It has nothing to do with your parents what you do with the baby either.
I bet your parents aren't angry. They're probably just shocked. It must be a big shock to fuind out that you're daughter's pregnant, especially when she's only 17. Remember, parents view their kids as "innocent" usually, no matter how old they get, so it's probably a lot for them to take in. Give them a while to calm down and get used to the fact and I'm sure they'll react more rationally... -
“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
-J.K. Rowling -
I can be the father.[FONT="System"][SIZE="4"]I find it funny that thing that built me up,
is the same thing that broke me down.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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Were you raped?
If so you can abort the baby without asking the father.
If you consented to sex with him then he has a say in what happens to the baby.
Just goes to show you should really think before you act.[SIZE=3]www.facebook.com/jackedfuture
5 cents per like goes to charity!:hitit:
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Solgave wrote:
They are angry, and not just a little either. I know them, and they are not going to get over it. They have known this for a while now, and they are still angry. They barly talk to me. They have never looked at me as anything else than something useless. So I am kind of alone about everything now, but it will be ok in the end. I just have to get myself up again and stop being sad about it. This will ruin parts of my life. But in the end I might have a beautiful daughter/son that can make me proud. I don't know.
I think at this point, you should be mostly focusing on the positive aspects to the situation. Like you said, you're going to have a beautiful child that's going to be the love of your life.
Honestly, whatever happened happened. There's no changing that; no turning back, as much as you'd possibly love to. You have to move on and stop dwelling over certain things that most likely aren't ever going to change no matter what you do.If you smacked a kid with a bottle of 'Johnson's No More Tears', wouldn't it create beautiful irony? -
Matt93 wrote:
Honestly, whatever happened happened. There's no changing that; no turning back, as much as you'd possibly love to. You have to move on and stop dwelling over certain things that most likely aren't ever going to change no matter what you do.
Well actually, she CAN change the fact that she has something inside of her.
“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
-J.K. Rowling -
Linda wrote:
Well actually, she CAN change the fact that she has something inside of her.
True lol. But didn't she already make up her mind that she was keeping it?
And really, choosing abortion anyway wouldn't change what happened (if anything it would probably fuel even more anger/depression/whatever else)If you smacked a kid with a bottle of 'Johnson's No More Tears', wouldn't it create beautiful irony? -
Solgave wrote:
I don't want to kill the baby. But I still don't want to be a mom. Hard? yeah. It might not sound hard for others, but it's not just to kill it to get rid of it. I can't. I would feel horrible about myself. Please, don't blame me for that, I just can't.
People know this now and everyone is telling me to take an abortion, besides the school consealer (??) who said I shouldn't. He also told me to talk to my parents, but I tried that and it doesn't really help. I have got in touch with Amathea, which is supposed to help me now.
I just feel so terribly lost. I know what I am supposed to do, and I am doing it. But right now I don't want to act with responsibility. For once I want to be childish and just think about myself. I should have done that earlier. Now I can't.
As people have said before, adoption is always an option if you're not ready to be a mom. Talking to an adoption counselor would obviously be better then talking to any of us if you're considering that option. If you want to still be a part of its life, open adoption is an option also. You can set rules and guidelines with the adopting parents about how 'open' you want it to be exactly, obviously they'll have input with that option too.
“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
-J.K. Rowling -
Solgave wrote:
I don't want to kill the baby. But I still don't want to be a mom. Hard? yeah. It might not sound hard for others, but it's not just to kill it to get rid of it. I can't. I would feel horrible about myself. Please, don't blame me for that, I just can't.
People know this now and everyone is telling me to take an abortion, besides the school consealer (??) who said I shouldn't. He also told me to talk to my parents, but I tried that and it doesn't really help. I have got in touch with Amathea, which is supposed to help me now.
I just feel so terribly lost. I know what I am supposed to do, and I am doing it. But right now I don't want to act with responsibility. For once I want to be childish and just think about myself. I should have done that earlier. Now I can't.
Well.....have you thought of adoption then? That way you can still not be a mom but at the same time save that child's life.
EDIT: I just realized Linda had the same thing.If you smacked a kid with a bottle of 'Johnson's No More Tears', wouldn't it create beautiful irony? -
Matt93 wrote:
Well.....have you thought of adoption then? That way you can still not be a mom but at the same time save that child's life.
As someone has already stated before- its not legally considered a child until it takes its first breath. If you're going to contribute to this thread, you really should be less biased about your own beliefs. Yes we've established that she's not comfortable getting an abortion, however- theres no need to force your beliefs upon her. The way you worded that sentence was almost an attempt to make her feel guilty if she were to get an abortion. Its not a child yet, nor does it technically have 'life.' I'm sure this is already hard enough for her, don't make her feel guilty if she chooses an option you don't necessarily agree with.
“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
-J.K. Rowling -
keep it. i am not a father but i am an uncle and my niece's life has changed me a lot for the better. find yourself a nice guy, me and im sure theres tons of other guys are willing to be an awesome father to a child thats not physically ours. you sound like you would make an awesome mother, at some point in life you have to grow up and put your fun/life aside for something better, im sure once you hold that baby in your arms you will have no ambition to party anymore.life may begin at 40 but it doesn't get very interesting till about 180.
for those who know me no explanation is needed for those who don't none is possible. -
I'm not trying to force my beliefs on anyone. Sorry if I came off that way (it wasn't at all my intention).
I'm just saying that, like I said a few posts up, having an abortion won't change anything in this particular situation. And since, Solgave, you've already expressed your fear and hesitation towards killing the fetus, why not take the (what I'm assuming would be) the easier way out and just have it? I mean, I'd imagine the thought of delivering feels at least a little bit more comforting than the alternative option.If you smacked a kid with a bottle of 'Johnson's No More Tears', wouldn't it create beautiful irony? -
Solgave wrote:
The ladies at Amathea talked about adoption, and it sounds like a good idea. Te only problem is that it is hard to find people here who wants a baby. They want children that has had a hard childhood or just want to help - but it's harder to find for a baby. But I will try to finde someone. And if I don't... Then I have got a kid, right? This is so weird. I think it finally got to me. I think I might be able to do this. Maybe.
I don't know if anyone want a girl, that has a baby and.... haha. I'm nothing to keep anyway.
Then odds are they would put it on foster care or a type of adoption house until they found parents for it. Where exactly do you live?
“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
-J.K. Rowling -
why don't you leave it up to fate? if you find parents for the child before they are born then you adopt it. if you don't you keep it.life may begin at 40 but it doesn't get very interesting till about 180.
for those who know me no explanation is needed for those who don't none is possible.
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