i love my friends but...

    • i love my friends but...

      i love my 2 best friends to bits.

      they both have boyfriends who are 3 years older then them, while im really happy for them because they are happy, all they ever do is talk about sex. im a more refined type of girl, i don't really talk about things like that while they are VERY OPEN about it, and it makes me really uncomfortable. any conversation we have turns into one about sex, and i have said it to them nicely, they just get mad when i say it because they want to talk about what they want. which is grand sometimes, but i just wanta normal conversation for once. not one that will turn into one about sex. what should i do?? :/ :confused:

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      You're teenagers, teenagers love sex, if you really have that much of a problem with it, you need to find some people who you can be comfortable with IMO, and I mean
      1. Because you think it's awkward, and more importantly
      2. Because it's actually very normal, and I think you're going to need to face sexuality at some point
      So maybe hang out with some different people? There isn't much you can do other than that if you've already talked to them about it.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by SMOKE. ().

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      SMOKE. wrote:

      You're teenagers, teenagers love sex, if you really have that much of a problem with it, you need to find some people who you can be comfortable with IMO, and I mean
      1. Because you think it's awkward, and more importantly
      2. Because it's actually very normal, and I think you're going to need to face sexuality at some point
      So maybe hang out with some different people? There isn't much you can do other than that if you've already talked to them about it.



      no, this is an not normal the amount they talk about it. like im grand with talking about it to an extent.
      and i cant just go find new people, they are my friends im not going to ditch them...

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      Script wrote:

      no, this is an not normal the amount they talk about it. like im grand with talking about it to an extent.
      and i cant just go find new people, they are my friends im not going to ditch them...

      Of course you can find new people to hang with, I don,t know where you're from
      but you don,t have to think so politically, and if you and your friends are so dependent on one another that you can't give it a break for a day, I'm truly sorry. Like I said though, there aren't a bunch of options here, i don't really know what you expect to be told.
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    • Re: i love my friends but...

      SMOKE. wrote:

      Of course you can find new people to hang with, I don,t know where you're from
      but you don,t have to think so politically, and if you and your friends are so dependent on one another that you can't give it a break for a day, I'm truly sorry. Like I said though, there aren't a bunch of options here, i don't really know what you expect to be told.


      god your helpful, dont try give advise if you cant back it up when questioned about it. where im from, we dont just ditch our friends.

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      SMOKE. wrote:

      You're teenagers, teenagers love sex, if you really have that much of a problem with it, you need to find some people who you can be comfortable with IMO, and I mean
      1. Because you think it's awkward, and more importantly
      2. Because it's actually very normal, and I think you're going to need to face sexuality at some point
      So maybe hang out with some different people? There isn't much you can do other than that if you've already talked to them about it.



      You're not reading her posts properly. She's just saying she's more refined than them. You're assuming she's all super-conservative and crap.

      Just because you like sex doesn't mean you talk about it ALL the time. It's not like there aren't other topics to discuss like food, family, friends, TV shows, music, sports, shopping, movies, books, events, school, work, etc.

      She clearly said, and in capital letters, that they are "VERY OPEN" about it. That's a bit too much.

      It's fine to talk about sex every now and again but not all the time and in great detail.

      Anyway, to the OP, Script:

      You should confront them about it and I mean properly. Tell them that you don't like that they keep talking about it and in detail and that you wish they'd talk about something else because it's irritating you. Ask them, "Do you not have anything else to talk about?"

      But really, if they do carry on, maybe you should just talk to other people, or show that you're not interested in talking to them, and see how they respond?

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      Script wrote:

      god your helpful, dont try give advise if you cant back it up when questioned about it. where im from, we dont just ditch our friends.

      This is middle school shit, if you can't hang out with different people ever
      you really do have a problem. There's a difference between not "ditching your friends" and being too fucking codependent, take that however you want.
      I don't need to back anything up I'm giving you an opinion which I'm assuming is the reason you made a fucking thread no? Not to mention, you didn't "question" anything, you just told me you wouldn't "ditch your friends"

      FallenAngel wrote:

      You're not reading her posts properly. She's just saying she's more refined than them. You're assuming she's all super-conservative and crap.

      No, I'm not reading incorrectly, it's perfectly normal, 90% of people I know who has any resemblance of a life has either
      a. Been like that at some point or
      b. Had some serious issues

      The other 10% get laid all the time and are just so chill about it they don,t need to spout off all the time over it

      FallenAngel wrote:



      You should confront them about it
      But really, if they do carry on, maybe you should just talk to other people, or show that you're not interested in talking to them, and see how they respond?

      Exactly how is this any different from what I said? How is it any better?
      It's the exact same thing.
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      The post was edited 1 time, last by SMOKE. ().

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      SMOKE. wrote:

      This is middle school shit, if you can't hang out with different people ever
      you really do have a problem. There's a difference between not "ditching your friends" and being too fucking codependent, take that however you want.
      I don't need to back anything up I'm giving you an opinion which I'm assuming is the reason you made a fucking thread no? Not to mention, you didn't "question" anything, you just told me you wouldn't "ditch your friends"

      No, I'm not reading incorrectly, it's perfectly normal, 90% of people I know who has any resemblance of a life has either
      a. Been like that at some point or
      b. Had some serious issues

      The other 10% get laid all the time and are just so chill about it they don,t need to spout off all the time over it

      Exactly how is this any different from what I said? How is it any better?
      It's the exact same thing.


      look, i was just saying that its a bit too much, im guessing your american by the way u referred to middle school?? well its obvisouly a lot different over there if you can have best friends for years who you go through a lot with and just ditch them? because thats a nice thing to do :/ not.

      as she said, i said VERY OPEN, as in too open, even people listening in ask me how i listen to it all the time.

      and i wasnt asking for an opinion, i was asking for advice, constructive advice, and if all you can come up with is to get over it and ditch my friends then i dont need your advice.

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      FallenAngel wrote:

      You're not reading her posts properly. She's just saying she's more refined than them. You're assuming she's all super-conservative and crap.

      Just because you like sex doesn't mean you talk about it ALL the time. It's not like there aren't other topics to discuss like food, family, friends, TV shows, music, sports, shopping, movies, books, events, school, work, etc.

      She clearly said, and in capital letters, that they are "VERY OPEN" about it. That's a bit too much.

      It's fine to talk about sex every now and again but not all the time and in great detail.

      Anyway, to the OP, Script:

      You should confront them about it and I mean properly. Tell them that you don't like that they keep talking about it and in detail and that you wish they'd talk about something else because it's irritating you. Ask them, "Do you not have anything else to talk about?"

      But really, if they do carry on, maybe you should just talk to other people, or show that you're not interested in talking to them, and see how they respond?



      thanks for reading the thread properly. its exactly what i meant.

      and i did directly confront them once but they just brushed it off.

      my problem is, is that if i do talk about anything else they twist it into talking about sex, thats whats annoying, that they cant just have a conversation on a diff subject for once.

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      alright, I'm not going to fight you over something so stupid, but like I said, there isn't any advice to give if you've already talked to them unless you expect someone to teach you some kind of jedi mind trick over the internet. You can't just change people, least of all people you call friends. I'm not going to reply again which I think should be a welcome thought for you, but you really should get around your bias of having to be tied to two people at all times, it's ridiculous.




      TL-DR on all my posts: You're right I guess, in The U.S. and Canada, and Mexico, you're allowed to have more than two friends, what a crazy thought!
      They're obviously doing something you don't like, and you've already brought it up with them, so you can either bring it up again,fight with them, be irritated all the time and/or wait it out, or you can just hang out with other people sometimes. I really don,t see why this doesn't make sense to you, it's not a big deal, your friends aren't going to fucking float away! Good luck...
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    • Re: i love my friends but...

      I don't think he is saying to ditch them, just to mix with a wider group. My best friend talked about sex ALL the time at school and it was pretty awkward but it wasn't so bad as when it got a bit too much i just started spending less time with her and more time with other friends, but we are still really close now 6 years later. I didn't ditch her. Also when you meet new friends and you hang around your old ones with your new ones they are less likely to be so open about it.

    • Re: i love my friends but...

      yeah take a break from them, let their excitement fade out, etc. Im sure its just a phase cause their older boyfriends are showing them a good time. I dont see my best friend anymore than about once a month, if they are worth it, they are still your best friends. Also if your best friend/s start/s to annoy you, you may be spending too much time with them.

      And no offence, but if they have nothing else to talk about than sex in great depth...they must be incredibly boring. :P
      "I love slippers so much that my wife once jokingly suggested I change my name to Arthur Slippers, how we laughed when I reminded her that it was, in fact, already my name!!"
      - Arthur Slippers.