What to do, and why is this happening to me?

    • What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      I dont mean to sound like a cocky bitch, but this guy named Sean wont leave me alone! He keeps pestering me even though im mean to him all the time!

      I dated him during the summer and we've had sex, we both go to different schools to make it even worst rival school at that. So about a week before school started he told me that he didn't think this would work out, so me being the understanding one (yeah right) i told him okay. While we were still on the topic he also threw in that he wont be dating for a while due to the fact that he liked me so much. I didn't really care about what he said at all and when i told him that the next day he went and had sex with another girl, trying to get me jealous. Well he failed and i cut all connections with him. Well a few weeks into school i find out that he is dating this girl from my school and a Junior (a ugly one. yeah yeah i know im shouldn't say that cause im not pretty myself) anyways i over heard it from a friend of hers that was in my class. I texted him to confirm it, he didn't reply with a straight forward answer, so intently i gave up. Well a month later he calls me up telling me he wants me back and all that other stuff, i would cuss him out telling him what he told me a week before school started, pissed off i hung up on him, though for some reason up until a month ago he was calling me non stop texting me NON STOP. i cussed him out every time (and let me tell you im not all that nice when it comes to bruising someone ego). Finally i gave up and gave him the chance he wanted, but now his all over me like we're dating when i make it clear to him that we're not. He tries kissing me or hugging me and it just annoys me so much. I want this guy off my back. Hes told me time and time again that he tries to forget about me but for some reason i always come up in his thoughts. HOW CAN HE STILL THINK OF ME WHEN I'VE BEEN SUCH A BITCH TO HIM?! i mean why can't he find someone else. Hes in the Varsity basketball team and the track team, its not like his not around plenty of beautiful athletic girls (cause he is.) so why me? After all i've said to him?

      I would love to hear from both the girls and guys point of view, do you have any idea why he is doing this? What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      *oh and since he told me he loved me i wanted to test out how much he did "love" me, so i told him he isn't allowed to have sex with any other girl besides me (which is not likely to happen, cause he slept with some cheap blah at Halloween party, the reason why he did was cause he was "mad that he couldn't have me") How many of you think thats a load of bull? I do.

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      I have Kev I really have he just keeps coming back. His birthday was the 15 and I totally forgot and when he came to my house to drop off my present for Christmas, and my birthday gift. I remembered and told him happy birthday, and that was yesterday ... :/ I didn't get him anything and he didn't care. It just shocks me that he still deeply cares about me...

      Back to your advice I have but he keeps calling and texting me telling me that he misses me and what not. Ugh I told him I don't want a boyfriend at the type, but he just does get it. :(

      Oh I have another question for you, but I'll pm it to you, if that's okay...?

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      Hi Indie.Foot as what i have read to your story you are really confused on what to do with this gy (Sean right?) First, I think she likes you a lot but the thing is he should do what he promised you like he will not going to have sex with other girls, just to make you jealous he broke his promise...anyways that is already in the past...I have a question,don't you like him? I mean not the way he likes you but you know...like him? because if you rerally want him out of your life go find someone else...let him know you are no longer interested on him...and try to find someone else, maybe he is not seeing you with other guys so he thinks that you still want him.......:wink:

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      He strikes me as the whole passive-aggressive attention-seeking type. Everything he does is to attempt to provoke some kind of reaction out of you. Unfortunately for him, every reaction he has gotten so far appears to be the exact opposite of what he was hoping to get. Even his first act of telling you that he doesn't think this is going to work out was probably not done with the intent of breaking up with you, but instead to scare you into thinking that you were about to lose him. Imagine his shock when you agreed with him. It was probably one of those "I really fucked up now" moments.

      Everything he has done since then has been a sincere, if remarkably ham-fisted, attempt to get back together with you. As for why he is doing this for you instead of moving on... Have you ever gone to a restaurant and seen a sign that says "Sorry, we are out of <fill in the blank>" and you find yourself saying "Damn, I wasn't even thinking about that, but that actually DOES sound pretty good. It's a lot like that. He can't have you, and that makes him want you even more. Now his actions are getting more extreme as he continuously ups the ante in an effort to get you to 'realize' that you NEED him back. In the meantime, he's coming across looking like a total doormat (which he is).

      The easiest way to get rid of him (and it's not going to be easy in the least) is to stop projecting any kind of signal that give him hope that you could be getting back together. The part about you telling him he isn't allowed to have sex with another girl? Yeah... don't do things like that, that makes him think that now there is a set of parameters under which you would take him back when he needs to understand the opposite, that there is no way this will ever happen. You shouldn't accept gifts from him, you shouldn't return his text messages. You need to give a very clear message that you aren't interested in having any contact with him.

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      cutiesam20 wrote:

      Hi Indie.Foot as what i have read to your story you are really confused on what to do with this gy (Sean right?) First, I think she likes you a lot but the thing is he should do what he promised you like he will not going to have sex with other girls, just to make you jealous he broke his promise...anyways that is already in the past...I have a question,don't you like him? I mean not the way he likes you but you know...like him? because if you rerally want him out of your life go find someone else...let him know you are no longer interested on him...and try to find someone else, maybe he is not seeing you with other guys so he thinks that you still want him.......:wink:


      You have a very good point, but i did forget to mention that i have gone out with two other guys one right after we broke up that lasted about four months but things didnt work out hes 19 and wants to settle down, and thats not want i want im only 16 come on. The second one all he wanted was sex so i said goodbye to that one. He utterly hates it when im with any other guy besides him, and when we go out in public to just hang out he tries to put his arm around my shoulder when he think someone is looking at me. Its stupid and i tell him to stop, i slap his hand away for goodness sakes. I do like him as a friend and nothing more and i've made that very VERY clear to him.

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      Jenna wrote:

      He strikes me as the whole passive-aggressive attention-seeking type. Everything he does is to attempt to provoke some kind of reaction out of you. Unfortunately for him, every reaction he has gotten so far appears to be the exact opposite of what he was hoping to get. Even his first act of telling you that he doesn't think this is going to work out was probably not done with the intent of breaking up with you, but instead to scare you into thinking that you were about to lose him. Imagine his shock when you agreed with him. It was probably one of those "I really fucked up now" moments.

      Everything he has done since then has been a sincere, if remarkably ham-fisted, attempt to get back together with you. As for why he is doing this for you instead of moving on... Have you ever gone to a restaurant and seen a sign that says "Sorry, we are out of <fill in the blank>" and you find yourself saying "Damn, I wasn't even thinking about that, but that actually DOES sound pretty good. It's a lot like that. He can't have you, and that makes him want you even more. Now his actions are getting more extreme as he continuously ups the ante in an effort to get you to 'realize' that you NEED him back. In the meantime, he's coming across looking like a total doormat (which he is).

      The easiest way to get rid of him (and it's not going to be easy in the least) is to stop projecting any kind of signal that give him hope that you could be getting back together. The part about you telling him he isn't allowed to have sex with another girl? Yeah... don't do things like that, that makes him think that now there is a set of parameters under which you would take him back when he needs to understand the opposite, that there is no way this will ever happen. You shouldn't accept gifts from him, you shouldn't return his text messages. You need to give a very clear message that you aren't interested in having any contact with him.



      well for me this is a good idea...you shouldn't accepting any gifts from him..just let him do what he wants to do so he would feel you really don't care about him at all...just to let him know that your tired and wants him out of your system...:wink:

    • Re: What to do, and why is this happening to me?

      Jenna wrote:

      He strikes me as the whole passive-aggressive attention-seeking type. Everything he does is to attempt to provoke some kind of reaction out of you. Unfortunately for him, every reaction he has gotten so far appears to be the exact opposite of what he was hoping to get. Even his first act of telling you that he doesn't think this is going to work out was probably not done with the intent of breaking up with you, but instead to scare you into thinking that you were about to lose him. Imagine his shock when you agreed with him. It was probably one of those "I really fucked up now" moments.

      Everything he has done since then has been a sincere, if remarkably ham-fisted, attempt to get back together with you. As for why he is doing this for you instead of moving on... Have you ever gone to a restaurant and seen a sign that says "Sorry, we are out of <fill in the blank>" and you find yourself saying "Damn, I wasn't even thinking about that, but that actually DOES sound pretty good. It's a lot like that. He can't have you, and that makes him want you even more. Now his actions are getting more extreme as he continuously ups the ante in an effort to get you to 'realize' that you NEED him back. In the meantime, he's coming across looking like a total doormat (which he is).

      The easiest way to get rid of him (and it's not going to be easy in the least) is to stop projecting any kind of signal that give him hope that you could be getting back together. The part about you telling him he isn't allowed to have sex with another girl? Yeah... don't do things like that, that makes him think that now there is a set of parameters under which you would take him back when he needs to understand the opposite, that there is no way this will ever happen. You shouldn't accept gifts from him, you shouldn't return his text messages. You need to give a very clear message that you aren't interested in having any contact with him.


      Haha have you ever heard of that phrase "you've hit the nail right on the head?"
      Its seems that every time i post something you're always right. I like that. :) i think you are my favorite mod.

      Anyways back to the topic at hand. I know i shouldn't have done that cause now he thinks that there is a sliver of chance that we might get back together, you're right. Thank you i'll keep you're advice in mind. :) :hugs: