So, recently I started living with my BF. At first all was great, even better than I expected (because it was forst time that any of us was living with partner). We had sex every day, and all other aspects of every day life were really good.
Then, after some time we started little fight about something, and didn't have sex for few days. Then all was OK again but we somehow started working a lot, not having time.... Also this crazy december, too much guests and dinners and lunches we didn't have time for eachother at all. Also, he's very nervous last few weeks, worried about his job.... We barely even talk, kiss maybe every few days. He goes to sleep really late, I get up early. We didn't have sex for at least 20 days and he doesn't show any signs he want to do it.
At first I wasn't bothered but now I started thinking something is wrong, with him or with me, or that I did something, or that he's bored.
Idk.
I asked what is wrong, why he's in such a bad mood - he said he is not, that he's only tired.
But still....
I'm becoming really sad (and frustrated too).
I don't want to pressure him, or expect him to have sex with me because he respect wehn I'm not in the mood.
Idk, is it normal for long term couples or what?
I don't want to have sex only 1 or 2 times per month!

I know
You mean more direct? I asked him what's wrong, and I randomly hugged him few times, durring the day, or night. We started kissing few days ago before going to bed but then suddenly ha had to do some stupid thing, something totally irrelevant and he went to other room and I went to sleep.

Kevmo7 wrote:

hmmm, something is on his mind, something thats distracting him or he has some grudge/bad feeling towards you, anything happen to set this off?

Idk, I think it shouldn't be my fault, I mean I didn't do anything wrong to him Or if I did I think he would already tell me.
As I said we are both lil bit tired and under stress because of uni and jobs, but again, it was already like that before, when we were not living together. So I don't know.
It's nothing SO bad we couldn't even make out a little bit beofre bed.
He was really nerveous before too, or worried, and me too, but we still managed to solve things and enjoy our moments together.
I was thinking it could be thing that we are living together couple of months now, maybe he has enough of sex/intimacy - but even that is weird, isn't it?

Kevmo7 wrote:

I doubt he would have gotten over it so quick, honestly, it sounds like he might just have something really bothering him, have you talked to him and tried to really figure everything out?

I asked what's wrong, and told him he should be more relaxed about his job. He said he's cool, and that nothing is wrong. I said few times he shouldn't be so stressed about that, he either ignores that, saying that he have just few things to get done or he says nothing is wrong.
We didn't really telked intimacy/sex problems because I don't want him to think I expect from him to kiss me or have sex with me, I definitely don't want him to do that just because he thinks he have to do it.

Kevmo7 wrote:

in regards to your sex life, did you do the same things over and over, was it like the same routine?

Maybe he just expects it to be the same so he doesnt want it

I think not I think both of us were really satisfied with our sex life. Also, wouldn't even routine be better then nothing at all?
We are not much into experimenting but I'm pretty sure we both agree on that (well, some experimenting like different positions, different places, some small dirty talk and something like that - yes, but things like SM or anal or 3somes - no).

Kevmo7 wrote:

well do you know something he really likes that you havent tried or only done a few times?

Maybe try that with him

But thing is I can't get him to kiss me more then 2 minutes, or convnce him that we should go to bed at same time.

Tnx for advice. At the end it always get to same thing - talk about it.
As I said, I don't want to pressure him. If I randomly kiss him or tell him to come in bed, and he doesn't do anything then I wont be doing next step. I mean, I can do first step, but I can't do all steps by myself.

---------- Post added at 06:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:03 AM ----------



Tnx.

I want it for both of us, not just because of sex (i can orgasm on my own ), but more because feeling of being close and intimate.
I don't want constantly hinting and asking because I know it would probably bother me, if I wouldn't be in mood and he would constantly trying to get mi in the mood.