Confused and empty - someone help

    • Confused and empty - someone help

      Hi guys,
      I am very new to this and I don't want to speak to my parents about I or see someone for this 'issue'
      It all started when I began year seven at school. I was a fool of myself and though I could get or have anyone I wanted and I could til one day, a boy who had loved me the whole of that year said he did. We dated and he was really shy, I was his second girlfriend and he had never held hands or kissed ECG.
      After a week I left him for someone else, then I left that person because I loved another but I would lead that first boy on when I was or wasn't dating someone until this year.
      He had waited two years and I had come to my senses at year eight and now in year nine.
      We dated for a long time. 8 months to be precise.
      Beautiful eight months it was. I had never been happier. But then something happened.. The news came that he was moving away, I began to loose myself slowly. Saying I'd kill myself or if he was seeing another girl I'd tell him not to, alway paranoid he'd cheat and so forth.
      He left me.
      I cried every night for a couple of weeks and I still do occasionally at night.
      Then, without him telling me he dated a good friend of mine
      I found out the hard way. I saw him with his arm around her ect.
      I'd sit away from everyone with my friend and cry (she left her boyfriend but missed him)
      A couple of months or weeks passed and soon everyone was into hard marijuana.
      I became bestfriends with my bestfriends ex boyfriend that she missed and tried dating four boys to get over that one significant other without success. Stupid as I was I had sex with one of them thinking it would help but he used me, althouh we still talk.. Never mind. After that first boy i couldn't feel basic emotions. Then after the boy I had sex with I couldn't feel anything at all, positive and I still can't feel any emotion.
      Recently the only friend I have left which is my bestfriends ex has fallen for me and I havnt noticed it but I've been leading him on
      The first boy from year seven says he still wants to have sex considering we've done it before. Just one more time before he leaves then we have to remain bestfriends.
      His changed because of his occasional marajuana habits but I know his the one for me. I dream and cry over him when I don't feel anything. We are still friends but I don't know what to do with myself
    • Re: Confused and empty - someone help

      so what year are you in now? and when did all the sex and weed start coming into the picture?

      I didnt have my first girlfriend until year 10, and I was still way too young I think then, damn kids are growing up so fast these days.

      I dont think its a real problem at your age with these boys, your still so young and I really dont think it would be an issue, I mean just wait till your like year 11 and 12 and then things start getting a bit more involved and you actually know how to make a relationship work really properly
      [CENTER] [/CENTER]
    • Re: Confused and empty - someone help

      Well, to start with I wouldn't let him use you for sex when he says that he has no intention of continuing to date you after he moves. Then there's the part about him dumping you and then going out with one of your friends, you didn't give an exact timetable for this, but it sounded like it happened very quickly. Really... this doesn't sound like the makings of a very nice guy. I know that this is probably not going to have much of an impact on you, but you are FIFTEEN and 'just know that he's the right guy for you." Please keep in mind that you are extremely young and this is NOT going to be the last person you feel this way about.

      It hurts now because the wounds are fresh. You are going to take him leaving very badly, but over time it's going to get better. You are hoping for a quick fix, some magical cure, but there isn't one. Every day is going to be a little easier than the day before, but eventually you are going to be able to move past him. Just accept that time heals all wounds.

      As for the other guy. You recognize that you are leading him on, so stop it. You say that this is your last real friend, don't screw it all up by using him as a rebound relationship. Obviously it will mean that he likes you more than you like him, and that's just going to hurt him in the long run. If he's really your friend, you won't do that.