Why is he doing this? :(

    • Why is he doing this? :(

      He's 6 years older than me. Over the summer we went to camp together and became really close. As the school year began our relationship progressed. We would talk constantly: in person, online, on the phone, whatever. Even though he was in college, he still made time for me. I started to really like him. Then, one day, it just stopped. He completely ignored me: he didn't answer my calls, emails, and he would avoid me. Except for the occasional hello, and "are you going to _________'s party tonight?" we wouldn't speak. I got kind of used to it and began to move on. On Christmas, we went to a party together and rekindled our friendship. Same thing on new years. This time, I felt a relationship coming. He even started sitting next to me in church, holding my hand and putting his arm around me. The next week, it stopped again. Now, he's back to ignoring me. I don't know why? Is he afraid of commitment? Is it the age difference? What is it?

    • Re: Why is he doing this? :(

      You haven't gone into very much detail, my friend, but I'm guessing you're 15-16 and he's 21-22?

      I think he probably, maybe even subconsciously, has gotten tired of dating a kid. I don't mean this personally, but you're likely too young for him.

      But assuming you're still into him, talk to him find out the problem.

      Worst comes to worst at least you'll know exactly the issue.
      Hope this helps. D. :)
      You're like the drug that I can't stop taking. I want more and I can't stop craving ^^

    • Re: Why is he doing this? :(

      Perhaps he's been hurt before or is afraid to date someone 6 years younger than him. A lot of people make th echoice not to date someone so much younger because of the maturity issues they face. It could be that he was previously in a relationship with someone younger and it didn't work so he is afraid to pursue one again because of the problems faced last time. There could be reason after reason. The only way to know? Ask him.
      [CENTER][SIZE=4]"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate." [/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: Why is he doing this? :(

      I think that Kevin is right about this. I couldn't even imagine dating someone six years younger than me (or six years older for that matter). I kind of have to question why he got involved with you to begin with, I do think that it's pretty high up there on the 'creepy factor' for a 20 year old to be interested in a 14 year old. It's not exactly socially acceptable, and he could find himself spending a few years sitting in jail if he gets too friendly with you.

      I guess it's possible that he's having some kind of internal struggle right now, like perhaps he understands that he could get in trouble for dating you, or he's afraid of how other people will judge him when they see you together, but I don't really think that's it. It certainly doesn't explain how he seems completely happy to be with you when he has the chance but afterward he starts not talking to you. I would be looking for some outside influence that's causing this. You say that you sit together and hold hands in church, that shows me that you are kind of public with your affection for each other. Maybe there is someone that is taking him aside and telling him that what he's doing is wrong... his parents, family, friends, a church pastor, maybe even your family?

      There is definitely something going on outside of the two of you. Mentally healthy people don't abruptly change their entire way of thinking without some kind of external stimuli.

    • Re: Why is he doing this? :(

      As has been said, there's something else going on outside of the two of you. It's a bit obvious. It is possible he wants a relationship with you. I was 14 with a 19 year old. As long as you two are on the same page mature wise, then things could work out.

      If you are truly bothered by this, then simply asking him "Hey, why are you ignoring me?" This doesn't imply you want a relationship, or that he may want one, but it's like "we were friends, then we're not, then we are, then we're not?" You could say it like that, and he'll be more willing to explain it to you instead of if you go and as if he's afraid of dating you.
      Just let him know you notice this, and want to know what's going on, and there's a good chance he'll explain it to you if you two were/are close. Maybe he does want a relationship, maybe he wants to be friends but has other things going on in his life distracting him, who knows? Well, he does. So just ask. It's not out of place.
      [LEFT][SIZE=2]"Adapt and Overcome"[/SIZE][/LEFT]
      [RIGHT]"Funny how the truth sounds so cliche"[/RIGHT]
      [RIGHT]~Jack Ingram[/RIGHT]
      [CENTER]
      [SIZE=1][/SIZE][/CENTER]

    • Re: Why is he doing this? :(

      Yeah unfortunately for you I have to agree with most of the posts that people have been saying. It really sounds like there's a bit too much of an age difference. I mean imagine if you were dating a 9 year old - obviously you would have such different interests, etc it just doesn't work that well when you're a lot younger or older than your significant other. So let him go and get on with your fabulous life! You go girl :)