I think most people have this problem, it's hard for people to change, but it's made easier when we have to 'survive' basically. (By that I mean, if not we would lose something special, or be in danger).

[Quoting the film 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' - "Only at the precipice, do we change"]

When things get back, we have to. Sorry for the side-track, I like to go off a bit... People need a good enough reason to change, because it takes effort. I've been trying to change myself for a long time, but the thing is, I keep on coming with new ways I need to change, and by then, I've given up on the previous. If you really hate being the quite kid, and want to make yourself someone, then I wish you good luck, it's difficult.

I know I didn't exactly give advice...

The way I see it, the only way you can change is by finding some way to stop caring about what other people think so much, and be who you want to be. If you go in for the first time and make a bad first impression, well, you have time to make new impressions! That's what I keep telling myself whenever I do anything stupid or embarrassing. It's like that old cliche says, you only regret chances if you don't take them. And I'm starting to realise now how true that saying really is.

Yeah dude. No one's gonna be interested in you if you aren't interested in yourself. You gotta do what you gotta do to become the person you want to be. I used to be just like you. Been "changing" for years. It will take the rest of my life. It never ends. But it begins with you taking action. To become social you have to talk...to...people! Weird, I know. The more you do it, the better you get at it. In the beginning you'll care what they think. you'll hurt because of it. But you keep at it and keep at it and that shit begins to fall away, and your truest best self stares to come through instead. Then sweet shit happens.

Changing core characteristics (such as being shy) is a pretty complex notion and not something you can make happen through sheer mental determination.

Its much easier (& more productive) to change your perspective, which often in turn changes your behaviour to some degree. Take the pressure off of yourself. You don't need to be an outgoing, star athlete in order to to be liked and accepted both by others and yourself. You just need to understand your assets, work with them, and focus on what you can do versus what you can't.
This is pretty vague advice and may come off as 'feel-good fluff', but then again changing who you are is a pretty vague topic. it's important to remember though, that the people who want to change themselves are those who think that by changing themselves they will drastically change their lives for the better.
1 of 2 things will happen. They will either realize its their mental outlook that needs to change (which does in turn change behaviour), and as a result be satisfied with who they are and their lifestyle, or they will always be caught up in trying to change themselves and never get away from their original dissatisfaction. Alex95's post being case in point.
Also understand that acceptance is by no means the same thing as settling & doing nothing about the issue. acceptance is instead the pre-resequite to being able to identify the core issue and then deal with it in a productive manner.

Your choice as to which example you want to be, because you will be one of them.

But if nothing else i've said makes sense then just focus on this: Sheer determination to change yourself will NOT result in change. just frustration and no positive results. Contrary to popular belief, change requires a hec of a lot more than mental willpower!


if you want i'd be happy to go into this a bit more (and make it less vague and more basic info that has direct real life application), just send me a msg

All the best,
C

First, don't beat yourself up too much over it. Maybe you're just a quiet person. That's who you are and nothing to be ashamed of. In other words, don't think there is anything wrong with yourself.

But if you really want to get out there, concentrate on making friends first. Once you do, the girls will notice. Best I can recommend is joining a club or some kind of youth group.

Wow, you sound like the male version of me! I'll be a junior next year, and I've always told myself I would change. A lot of my teachers don't even remember me, or they comment on how I never really said anything in their class, which makes me regret being the quiet kid.

I recommend NOT getting a Facebook, because it will decrease your self esteem and confidence, seeing all these people doing things (going out) and you're not good enough to be in their pictures or their statuses. And if you do get a facebook, you will get a lot of friends on there, not because they are your friends, but they want to degrade even more 'losers'.

My biggest advise for 'changing' is to remove all expectations from your mindset, and not care what anyone thinks about you. This is extremely hard, and I will tell you that I struggle with it and get nervous about what people think of me, but you have to realize that Highschool is only a short part of your life, most of the people you will never see again (and will never remember you), which may be sad, but I suppose the 'real world' is a better place than High School and all of its caddy-ness.

Anyways, good luck to you...

Changing is hard because it's not natural to try to be something your not. Just be yourself and dont give a shit what others think of you. Be what you feel you are on the inside but are scared to show people.


Ps if you do make a facebook I'll add you. In the words of eric cartman, "chick friends are worth almost 3 times what dude friends are". If you get fb you may find it easier to arrange things with your friends.