Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

    • Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      i'm quiet and he's outgoing :)
      i'm in a 50/50 situation now...

      and i'll love it if you can read the details, but if you don't want to then it's fine :)

      --- since the beginning of this year, a popular guy liked me and i'm the quiet/shy girl (we're both 17)

      ----- i was ignoring him, since i got hurt with similar things before

      --- but obviously he carried on trying to get my attention and for the first time he went all shy and fidgeting (which was adorable!!)

      --- but the main reason i pretended not to know was because this popular girl.. the hot girl and the one that he liked last year [but she rejected him and went out with a guy below our year] ... but now she likes him :/

      ---- so i thought i'll use my common sense and back down

      ---- then he went to a mixed feeling by liking me and her

      ---- the girls in our year, made my life miserable for me :(

      ---- although some of friends are nice, but some thought i'll put his status down [which is kinda true :/ ]

      --- anyways i added him on facebook and he's leaving this year, because he doesn't like sixth form

      ---- so i won't see him and on the last day - i tried to talk to him but he was with his friends :/

      ---- so if he accepts me (i deleted him about 2 times!)... shall i just talk to him

      --- and see how it goes and how should i start the convo

      ---- i also sent him a mean message before, because of the drama the girls were giving me; when it was him that liked me... so i want to start the convo by saying sorry and how should i start it ???? :)

      --- thank you so much :) xx

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      It's definitely not a bad thing. Some people may see it as being desperate, which is ridiculous, but some girls are just more outgoing and forward. As for starting a convo, just start like you would with any other friend. Say hi, how are they doing, maybe talk about a common interest or something. Conversations tend to veer in other directions on their own, and unless you feel comfortable talking about how you two feel about each other off the bat, that's probably the safest way to get where you want to go. You can try to steer the conversation in that direction or you can just flat out ask "So, about us..." It just all depends on what you're comfortable with. Best wishes to you :)
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

      HockeyFan;1062815419 wrote:

      whatever dr phil

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      Yes, it's bad if girls make the 1st move in general.

      You'll have a hard time finding men to agree with this.

      Just like you'll have a hard time finding women to post their opinion on this.

      If I were a girl I probably wouldn't have replied in this thread.
      Nice guys talk because they have something to say; pick-up artists talk because they have to say something.

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      ComplicatedMind wrote:

      I completely disagree with Neal, I love it when a women shows her confidence and flare by making the first move. There is nothing bad here for you to think about, just don't ask in a way which shows you are desperate, actually show that you have genuine interest in him. You'll be fine.


      I completely agree with this. Its never bad for a girl to make the first move, it shows that the girl is confident and is a very good quality to have. I do agree to do it in a way that shows you are not desperate, just relax and be cool about it. Ask him out for a coffee or something. If you do like him then don't wait for him to make the first move. Guys can sometimes be too terrified to ask girls out because of fear of rejection. I say go for it.
      People think the Irish are a bunch of drunks and brawlers, and that makes us soo mad sometimes that we just want to get drunk and punch somebody.

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      First of all, it's not a bad thing at all. A lot of guys actually like it when a girl makes the first move. Not only does it take a lot of pressure off of them, but it makes the girl look more attractive because she seems confident.

      If you believe you'll "put his status down" then you shouldn't date him until you can get past that. You'll be unhappy all the time because you think you're making him miserable by "putting his status down". By the way, if you're a great girl, then that's impossible to do!

      You should definitely see how it goes and apologize and just tell him the truth. Tell him why you were so mean and let him know that you'd like to go on a date or whatever, but not make it official yet. You'd like to take things slow and see how they work out. Oh and add some compliments in there. Guys like them just as much as girls do!
      [CENTER]"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." ~Marilyn Monroe[/CENTER]

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      I don't think it matters who makes the first move first. Sure, it's traditional for the guy to make the first move, but I'm sure most guys find a confident girl attractive. Either way, making the first move is nerve-wracking for either party: boy or girl. I say just message him and put all the drama behind you. Like Alison said, start off by asking how he's doing and let the conversation take it's own direction.

    • Re: Is it really bad if a girl makes the first move, in general?

      Most boys I know are ultra shy and scared to ask a girl out....

      The most common way of two people to get together that I know of is by getting totally wasted and you know the rest X(

      I think it's fine for girls to make the first move. It makes things so much easier.
      The World is heading for mutiny, when all we want is unity.
      We may rise and fall, but in the end, we'll meet our fate together!
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