I've spent the summer mostly isolated from everyone at my school and I liked it that way. You don't need to tell me how unhealthy that is; I already know. I'm just not a big fan of socializing.
Anyways, I'm panicking for no good reason. I'm panicking for bad reasons. I'm panicking for stupid reasons that I made up in my head and I know that. I'm panicking simply because I am petrified of dealing with people. Don't get me wrong, I can handle efficient business interactions in which I purchase something from a store or order something at a restaurant. It's only the thought of seeing my "friends" again that terrifies me.
Now, normally I suppose someone would be exited to see their friends and worried about the schoolwork, but for me it's flipped. It's just that it takes so much effort to get people to like me. I don't want to waste that effort. I didn't want to make friends at all, but random people for some reason started approaching me out of the blue and eventually doing what I had been trying to avoid. They have put me in a position where something is expected of me. I'm supposed to live up to their image of me and I can't because I don't even know what it is but I'm sure as hell I'm not nearly as good as that image.
Please, please, please don't tell me to be relax and myself. I can't do that if I don't know who I am, can I? I just need a way to get these people off my back without pissing them off.
Anyways, I'm panicking for no good reason. I'm panicking for bad reasons. I'm panicking for stupid reasons that I made up in my head and I know that. I'm panicking simply because I am petrified of dealing with people. Don't get me wrong, I can handle efficient business interactions in which I purchase something from a store or order something at a restaurant. It's only the thought of seeing my "friends" again that terrifies me.
Now, normally I suppose someone would be exited to see their friends and worried about the schoolwork, but for me it's flipped. It's just that it takes so much effort to get people to like me. I don't want to waste that effort. I didn't want to make friends at all, but random people for some reason started approaching me out of the blue and eventually doing what I had been trying to avoid. They have put me in a position where something is expected of me. I'm supposed to live up to their image of me and I can't because I don't even know what it is but I'm sure as hell I'm not nearly as good as that image.
Please, please, please don't tell me to be relax and myself. I can't do that if I don't know who I am, can I? I just need a way to get these people off my back without pissing them off.