My Story.

    • Just thought id share my story with you guys. and feel free to share your stories back with me :)

      I have been self harmin on and of since i was 11 i am now 16. However for the last 18 months i have self harmed pretty much everyday. My right wrist is a mess and i always have to try and hide it. I was fostered about 2 years ago.
      Ever since i can remember i have watched my father beat up abuse and rape my mum infront of me. i always felt so helpless. If i tried to stop it by sayin anythin to my dad he would shout and me and make me fel worse. my mum is an alcoholic and she would hit me quite alot. My dad would always abuse her more if she'd been drnking.
      I was sexually abused by my father when i was 7 but i never told anyone until recently. even when i did tell a few people no one believed me. This happened one night that my parents had an argument and my mum left. (even thou i had made her promise me before that she would never leave me with my dad.) i was really upset and seeked comfort. so i went to see my dad and i was cryin. he told me to get in bed eith him. so i did. and iv never trusted him since.
      there is sooo much more to my story, but even writin this much brings back too many awful memories.
      i am extremely suicidal and dont no how much longer ill be around. I suffer from severe depression too and PTSD (post traumatic stres disorder). I often have anxiety and panic attack and drink alot to try and numb the emotional and mental pain.


      please feel free to wrist back :)

      The post was edited 1 time, last by StarsSecret ().

    • Re: My Story.

      I'm really sorry to hear all that. I think you might want to look into getting professional help. I've been on and off depressed for a couple years now, although it's mainly due to me rather than my circumstances and have likewise turned to drinking occasionally to kill the pain. Really, it doesn't help at all.
      Waiting, for redemption, for elation, for the time when I ascend. For the ecstasy, for the tragedy, for the point of my ascension.
    • Re: My Story.

      punkfan is right. People with even minor issues seek professional help all the time, and I think you really need an objective, non-threatening person to hear you out and help you deal with these things.

      It's not even about you wanting to hurt yourself, that's bad enough. But everything you have seen, felt, and heard, is buried in there even if you don't notice it every day. That damage takes time and work to repair, but you do not have to be a product of that environment.

      People can either break down or build up from these kinds of situations. The fact that you are reaching out in any form for help means you're willing to fight for yourself, which is the first step.

      Ask your foster parents (or an adult you think you can trust) if they will get you someone to talk to, to sort this out. It's not as scary as it sounds and can REALLY help you get to a place where you can understand piece of mind, and realize that you are worth more than your parents could ever understand.
    • Re: My Story.

      I am so sorry you have had to go through all that. My heart really hurts for you :/ I understand your need to self harm though, and I haven't had to deal with it for nearly as long, but I know how it feels. And I know it gives you a temporary release, but it really doesn't help your overall situation. And I also know what it's like to go through a phase where you're self-harming everyday and it just makes you feel like crap. But the only way I was able to stop was when I told my friend I was going to commit suicide and he called my mom and told her everything. So, I know it's not fun or appealing to have someone else help you with your problems, but I think it might be what you need. And I'm not saying a stranger either, because honestly, I'm in therapy right now and it's not helping me, but friends and people you love definitely help.
      [COLOR="Blue"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]~Everyday at 11:11 I wish for there to be no more pain and suffering in this world. But do you know what? There still is.~[/FONT][/COLOR]