Mum not talking to me, What to do?

    • Mum not talking to me, What to do?

      First of all, I want to thank anyone who's reading this. You all are beautiful people for sparing some of your time to read this.

      Me and my mum are very close, but recently when i want to share something with her the conversation always ends up of her telling me why i'm not good enough (e.g I don't work hard enough, I'm impolite, I'm a lazy slob, I should be the best in my grade) Normally, these things don't affect me but a few months ago i had friendship troubles and a lot of stress and i think i became depressed (Crying everyday, feeling inadequate, dreading school, snapping at the slightest things) and this went on for about 2 months . I never talked about it and it caused me to become increasingly insecure (actually something similar happened a year ago but i never talked about it either). So now, whenever I receive any kind of criticism, I get really emotional and either get really angry and yell, or i burst into tears. So I tried to discuss something with her and it ended up with me in tears in my room.

      Usually when I am really upset i let it out by venting on twitter. This time however, i did it through BBM (Blackberry messenger) and i put my status as "Remind me never to tell you anything again." I forgot I had her as a contact and she read it and we had a big argument via BBM. At first i didn't want to talk about it, but she got really angry, and when i tried to tell her how hurt i was when she said what she just told me that the world doesn't always agree with me and what good would i do by blaming her. Then something weird happened; all the bottled up feelings i had suddenly came rushing out and i started getting really angry i replied: "Fine. I'm sorry. I'm an egotistical bitch who is never right and always blames her parents." She deleted me off her bbm.

      So now we are not really talking, and i feel really bad and i know i shouldn't have done what i did, but i do believe that this wasn't entirely my fault. Isn't she supposed to care when i say that she hurt my feelings instead of twisting my words and saying that I blame her for me being a wimp?

      So there you go. I know this is a really long post but i needed to get it all out there. I tried to write it as unbiased as possible. Bless anyone who actually bothered to read up to here. Any advice would be great. Thank you so much for reading this.

      -Cha
    • Re: Mum not talking to me, What to do?

      Alright well, firstly, it could be a lot worse. Which is a good thing. I know it seems like really bad right now, but things could always be worse. I've gone for months without talking to my parents over stupid stuff, which yours wasn't, and they even kicked me out once onto the streets. But my personal opinion is, if your mom is acting like this, putting you down every chance she gets, you aren't the only one with problems. Not to say that yours aren't important, because she should be there for you, and if shes not then I really think she needs to be told by someone that she listens to that your her kid. I recently had a big fight with my boyfriend and he had cheated on me with my ex best friend and all of this which ended in my parents saying, "Its not our job to take sides." But personally I thought it was. I think you and your mothers perceptions are a lot different. You think talking to her about things should be a constructive situation and all shes taking it as is you need someone to complain to because she doesn't think you have other friends.

      She is definitely supposed to care about what she says to you, but maybe she doesn't realize she's said anything wrong, and needs a reality check. But at the same time, maybe you unloading on her about the things you want to talk about is too much for her to handle. Consider what might be going on in her life as well. The things that you might not see, that are causing her as much pain at the same time.

      I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do because I have never experienced this except on a huge scale difference and I know for a fact that my parents have major problems. But I hope that what I said might help you understand it a bit more and realize that it might not be your fault, but to her in a way it seems like it might be. Hope this helped.
    • Re: Mum not talking to me, What to do?

      I understand everything you said. My mom kind of the same she never agree anything I do. She want me asked her before I want to do something and waiting to get approved. We argue a lot . Not much talking just like you . But i know for sure she still care about you. Just wait a while then go to her room and tell her . You know you wrong always appologize first for what you should'nt done and tell her it is a reason . You are young and you need advice from her that is why you try to tell her anything . and just say the true that why can't her help you out by tell you what should you do ? you will have a lot misake in your like not one that is why you need her to show you and learn more about that. You and her are family no matter what happen she will still love you.
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    • Re: Mum not talking to me, What to do?

      She's supposed to care, but you're also supposed to not care. I know she's your mom and all, but you have to be stronger than to let anyone affect how you feel through simply words. It's not her job to make you stronger. You gotta do it. other than that, talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and that you're sorry for your part in it. If she's not as sorry, then whatever. That's her problem.
      [COLOR="black"]When I'm not fighting mountain lions for sport, I read about broken homes, teenage depression, and other such life-improving awesomeness cause I'm weird like that[/COLOR]