popularity and making friends

    • popularity and making friends

      hey at my school and just with like, teens in my area, popularity (how many friends you've got) is a big thing. i would really love to be popular, i'd love having lots of friends to support me and to hang out with :) but the thing is, i'm not. I think people think i'm in the 'nerd' gang... i used to wear a skirt that was down to my ankles, a huge rucksack, dorky glasses and i used to always be studying instead of chatting. I'm not a nerd- i've changed all the above now, in fact the 'nerd' crowd who i fall into bore me, they don't talk about music and fashion and boys and films that i'd talk about, just work and weird stuff... The fact is I don't know how to show people i'm not a dork, and that i want to make friends! I don't have much confidence so i find it hard in social situations and chatting to people.Maybe confidence is the key to making friends and being popular? :confused: I just aren't sure how to get confident, make friends and be popular. It really gets me down and i feel lonely and friend-less at school :(
      Do you have any tips to make friends and build confidence? Do you feel the same? Are you popular and can tell me how you got to the top of the social - food - chain?!
      Thaankyou xx
    • Re: popularity and making friends

      Confidence is a must when meeting people. You have to build it from experience though, so try chatting to people in your classes etc. to build it up. :)

      Take me for example, I started this school year in a new class, didn't take long to make friends since I'm not afraid of chatting with people.
    • Re: popularity and making friends

      It's just a matter of social experience. Rather than wishing and hoping you were one of the popular kids (which could be a bunch of losers, as you'll realize one day), your goal should simply be to become a social outgoing person. The rest will take care of itself. And I know this sucks to hear...but that means actually TALKING to people. Take the babiest of baby steps first if you need. Just make eye contact with everyone as you walk one day. Then maybe say Hi to everyone. Eventually just make a few remarks. And on and on. It's a long process from anti-social to social. In fact, it was the great struggle of my life. But you just gotta do it, and accept that there will be awkward times ahead and learn to find them hilarious. Like seriously hilarious. Cause they are. All of life is...just go have fun, say whatever the hell you want to whoever the hell you want.
      [COLOR="black"]When I'm not fighting mountain lions for sport, I read about broken homes, teenage depression, and other such life-improving awesomeness cause I'm weird like that[/COLOR]
    • Re: popularity and making friends

      At first being popular isn't the amazing thing, I always hated them and still do.
      Best is just to be yourself and not like some popular kids.

      As for other friends, you can try to talk with other people and thats how you can make more contact with other people you can maybe hang out with.
      It's not that hard to start talking, you could always start about school or something else what happened lately and after a few times talking it will go better and you can maybe try to hang out with them more.

      Maybe the first time and second will be a bit hard when you don't have much confidence but it will come when you talked more. Had the same thing myself always.
      And don't think too much before wanting to talk to someone then it only will make you nervous and such and it will be more hard, don't think about it and just do it.
      [CENTER]It's the missing that will kill you,
      knowing you've missed your shot.
      ☆[/CENTER]
    • Re: popularity and making friends

      Something I noticed quite a while ago is that people gravitate to the people who are carefree and do what they want because they want to and don't really care what other people think. I've gotten to the point where (except for a few close friends) I disregard most peoples opinions(if I choose to). I'm out there, and I talk to who i want and occasionally make a fool of myself, and its fun. I don't worry about what strangers think because chances are I wont ever see them again, and if i do, and they want to be friends then they are friends with the real me, because I'm me. How did I get here? i started by making a fool of myself. But other people see the ability to do that as confidence, and will mostly admire you for being willing to because they don't have the confidence to be original and out there and chance making a fool of themselves. Am I popular? I don't know or care.. But I have friends, and they like me and we have a good time that's all that this part of life should be about. Having a ton of friends isn't the most important thing in the world, because as you get older you will eventually have a few very good friends, but you'll be able to count on those friends for everything.
    • Re: popularity and making friends

      the same happpened to me. I was in the not so popular group and after a while i just got bored. I wanted to be partying, doing stuff, hanging out, having an activity every weekend and stuff like that. So i became friends with one of the most popular girls!! im not sure how it happened, but we sat next to eachother in a class and i think we started talking and by the end of the year, to this day were best friends and im one of the most popular girls in my school now!

      So what you have to do is start dressing more stylishly, change up your hair, maybe wear some make up and start going out of your comfort zone! Talk to some of the fun girls and try to be freinds with them! Crash a party tht u overhear about!! Just go out of your comfort zone but dont change who u are. Dont do aything your seriously not okay with cuz ull end up looking stupid and trying too hard. Good Luck!
      [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]A chance is like a picture, it'd be nice if you'd just take it
      -Unthinkable (Alica Keys ft.Drake)[/COLOR]