WARNING [This is defiantly more a rant than a post] WARNING
So for the last two years I have been an avid weed smoker. But due to the amount of money that I have been consuming and time I have been wasting feeding this habit, I have decided to take a semester break. I have been sober (From smoking) for almost a month and I have lost almost all urges to smoke. Most of my friends smoke so I'm around it a lot but the temptation to smoke has lessened from contemplating "oh I'll just have a hit" to "I don't even want to smoke". I feel good about this decision because even though I like to smoke and am not fully giving it up forever, this break is definitely needed to help me concentrate on school and other things at this point in my life. For anyone who smokes weed you can say that your a normal functioning person when your high but you have to come clean at some point and admit that it really does mess with the way you think and can really affect your decision making.
With quitting smoking (for the time being) I have come across an unexpected problem or crossroad. I had my first cigarette a couple months ago which is something I have always condemned to a nasty and dirty habit for other people. After trying it myself though. I have to admit that I kinda liked it. It was pleasurable; the smoke didn't make me cough when I inhaled and the buzz I felt was so soothing that I smoked three over the course of 3 hours. Now after those first three I didn't feel the urge to smoke or anything and I still don't think that I'm addicted, but about a month and a half ago I was going through a rough "breakup" with a girl I had a thing with for a long time. I basically got taken advantage of and manipulated and ultimately just felt incredibly humiliated at the situation. During the let go phase I felt compelled for some reason going out that night to pick up a pack of Spirits. I don't really know why I did but it was sort of symbolic for me a sort of cleansing Ironically. It took me about 20 days to finish that pack and I gave about 7 of them to other people so I'm not a huge smoker at all. I even vowed that after this first pack I would never buy my own again...
Well 3 days ago for some reason I was craving a smoke and ended up buying another pack. Lights this time but I've smoked one a day since then and now sitting here I'm wondering if this is the start of an addiction. I know that smoking cigs is about the worst thing you could do to yourself but I just like smoking SOMETHING. I don't really know what it is but the process of smoking for me is almost like a ritual or "spiritual". when I smoke I can focus and at the same time let go of my thoughts and drift for awhile. The most pleasurable part of smoking weed for me wasn't just being high afterward. The actual process of going to smoke was so enjoyable that I found myself visiting all my favorite smoke spots just to sit and think for awhile completely sober. I love to roll joints and even though I'm on "A break" I continually roll joints for my friends just to go through the process of it. Doing this and smoking cigs are my way of keeping that "Going to the smoke spot" a part of my life without being high and being able to stay focused on school. Apart from the smell (which I can't stand) I feel like a cig once and awhile is nearly harmless. (please argue otherwise if you feel differently).
Now if anyone has stayed with me this long and has listened to Teak blabber on an on, Let me ask you this. If you smoke cigs, what is it for you? is it satisfying your addiction or is there some underlying pleasure to smoke that is completely unrelated to the Nicotine? I used to smoke a pipe way back in the day and have considered taking that up again instead of cigs. If you smoke pipe, do you know of the any less harmful methods or are they all just as terrible? If you smoke weed and also enjoy more than just the high it would be cool to hear what it means for you.
Thanks for the read,
Post up kids.
So for the last two years I have been an avid weed smoker. But due to the amount of money that I have been consuming and time I have been wasting feeding this habit, I have decided to take a semester break. I have been sober (From smoking) for almost a month and I have lost almost all urges to smoke. Most of my friends smoke so I'm around it a lot but the temptation to smoke has lessened from contemplating "oh I'll just have a hit" to "I don't even want to smoke". I feel good about this decision because even though I like to smoke and am not fully giving it up forever, this break is definitely needed to help me concentrate on school and other things at this point in my life. For anyone who smokes weed you can say that your a normal functioning person when your high but you have to come clean at some point and admit that it really does mess with the way you think and can really affect your decision making.
With quitting smoking (for the time being) I have come across an unexpected problem or crossroad. I had my first cigarette a couple months ago which is something I have always condemned to a nasty and dirty habit for other people. After trying it myself though. I have to admit that I kinda liked it. It was pleasurable; the smoke didn't make me cough when I inhaled and the buzz I felt was so soothing that I smoked three over the course of 3 hours. Now after those first three I didn't feel the urge to smoke or anything and I still don't think that I'm addicted, but about a month and a half ago I was going through a rough "breakup" with a girl I had a thing with for a long time. I basically got taken advantage of and manipulated and ultimately just felt incredibly humiliated at the situation. During the let go phase I felt compelled for some reason going out that night to pick up a pack of Spirits. I don't really know why I did but it was sort of symbolic for me a sort of cleansing Ironically. It took me about 20 days to finish that pack and I gave about 7 of them to other people so I'm not a huge smoker at all. I even vowed that after this first pack I would never buy my own again...
Well 3 days ago for some reason I was craving a smoke and ended up buying another pack. Lights this time but I've smoked one a day since then and now sitting here I'm wondering if this is the start of an addiction. I know that smoking cigs is about the worst thing you could do to yourself but I just like smoking SOMETHING. I don't really know what it is but the process of smoking for me is almost like a ritual or "spiritual". when I smoke I can focus and at the same time let go of my thoughts and drift for awhile. The most pleasurable part of smoking weed for me wasn't just being high afterward. The actual process of going to smoke was so enjoyable that I found myself visiting all my favorite smoke spots just to sit and think for awhile completely sober. I love to roll joints and even though I'm on "A break" I continually roll joints for my friends just to go through the process of it. Doing this and smoking cigs are my way of keeping that "Going to the smoke spot" a part of my life without being high and being able to stay focused on school. Apart from the smell (which I can't stand) I feel like a cig once and awhile is nearly harmless. (please argue otherwise if you feel differently).
Now if anyone has stayed with me this long and has listened to Teak blabber on an on, Let me ask you this. If you smoke cigs, what is it for you? is it satisfying your addiction or is there some underlying pleasure to smoke that is completely unrelated to the Nicotine? I used to smoke a pipe way back in the day and have considered taking that up again instead of cigs. If you smoke pipe, do you know of the any less harmful methods or are they all just as terrible? If you smoke weed and also enjoy more than just the high it would be cool to hear what it means for you.
Thanks for the read,
Post up kids.
