My Story

    • My Story

      I hate myself. I hate my looks, i hate my life, i hate who I am. It's just so difficult to feel good about yourself nowadays with all the sticks in magazines and on TV. I can't even sit in class without thinking about how much I hate myself. I'll be sitting in the middle of math class and debating whether or not to eat lunch, or even dinner for that matter. I've never cared about my weight until now... I used to be fine and happy about myself but every thing changed as I grew up. I went through a period of time where I wouldn't eat anything. My friends didn't help with that, they caused it. Before I didn't eat anything, I tried to cut down on eating and all they did was spread rumors and talk about me behind my back. they called me anorexic and boleamic and said awful things. That just made me hate myself even more. Now I'm eating again but I have a problem with over eating. I do know why, but once I start I can't stop. And when I do eat, I absolutely hate myself. It's a difficult thing not to be able to even eat dinner without hating yourself for it later. Some nights I'll cry to myself in my room about how much I hate myself, and some days I don't even want to go into public. I don't want to be ugly, all I've ever wanted was to be pretty but I can't do that. I'll never be thin and I'll never be pretty and I'm never going to let that go. I wish society wasn't so messed up. I wish I could just like myself for who I am. But that's never going to happen.

    • Re: My Story

      You are good just the way you are, ignore the other ppl who talk about you like that.
      Why would you care about what they say? Do stuff you like to do whatever makes your mind off those stuff about yourself. For me music always helps, or I game a lot so that takes my mind of stuff too.
      And if your friends talk about you like that, well you know that already they are not really your friends. Friends would support you and help you through problems if they can.
      You could try to meet other new people to make friends etc.

      I really understand how you feel. Talking is always a good thing to do too, with people who you trust. You dont need to eat less and such to be pretty, i'm sure you are already.

      Keep your head up, talk to others and do stuff you love to do.

      pm if you need someone to listen/talk.
      [CENTER]It's the missing that will kill you,
      knowing you've missed your shot.
      ☆[/CENTER]

    • Re: My Story

      Hey Blackballoon,

      I know what you are going through. I have been there. I have hated myself so much I have contemplated suicide. But today, I am starting to come to peace with it.

      How?!?! It seemed so impossible just a short while ago. I used to value myself by what I look like. I figured if I didn't look good nobody would want to hang out with me. I abused food as a result because I didn't know how to change the situation. Then it all went out of control and now I have realised food DOES NOT solve anything. even if I am as thin as the models in the magazines, I still feel s*** about myself.

      It took time and love from my boyfriend to make me feel that I don't have to be anybody for anyone. Being popular in school is important but being happy is even more important. Your 'fans' as a result of being popular don't really care about you, but the few that are close to you (good friends, boyfriend, family sometimes) are the ones that will be there when you need them. So try you best, don't try to please everyone, it is so hard on yourself. and for those who are close to you, they are already pleased. So really, just be happy ok?

      I'm trying too.

    • Re: My Story

      You know why you will never achieve those things? It is because you keep telling yourself you won't. State of mind and perspective is everything, if you tell yourself you can't do something then you won't do it because you have already made up your mind. In reality you are perfectly capable of being happy with yourself, but that means you can't give up on yourself when you aren't getting the results you want fast enough. These things take time, you just need to be patient and stay positive.
      [CENTER][FONT="Garamond"][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]Seduce&Destroy[/SIZE]
      [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
      You're sure you still wanna play this evil lil game?      [/COLOR][/FONT][/CENTER]