How can parents love but don't care?

    • How can parents love but don't care?

      Hi everyone,

      I know my parents love me dearly but sometimes I am confused by their behaviour. They try and tell me what to do, instead of letting me be happy. I know I am only 15 but I think I have an idea of what is best for me. Sometimes what they ask of me is just not what I want, and that makes me feel like a failure.


      Can everyone just put down BRIEFLY examples for :
      - when you feel like your parents are not listening to you (ie, what problem was it)
      - WHY do you think they don't accept our views
      - what to do next?!

      Please leave as many examples here, let this be a growing list so that we all don't feel so alone when dealing with difficult parents.

      Thanks lots.
    • Re: How can parents love but don't care?

      1. when I talk about dating, or even meeting friends somewhere, like a park
      2. they don't think we think well enough. like how we would think a 10 year-old would think worse than us. Over time, we will probably realize that we were not right, but not at the current time.
      3. I just tolerate it. I don't really tell her/them everything that happens with her (my girlfriend), since they wouldn't really understand how I feel. I just "bottle up" my feelings.

      Don't get me wrong here. I understand that my parents think that they are doing the best for me, and we love each other. I just disagree with some things.

      :D:cool:
      [COLOR="Green"]Offer help, and others will offer it to you.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="DarkOrange"]You get what you deserve.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR="SeaGreen"]Remember...[/COLOR]:cool:
    • Re: How can parents love but don't care?

      I think the hardest part for most parents is learning how to talk to their growing kids without condescending to them or being dismissive of their perspective. I think most people including the teenagers dont listen. They hear, but they dont truly listen.

      It seems like it should be so easy for a parent to just let go, but knowing when and where to let go is so incredibly terrifying. I know that its essential to fail and fall and break and cry and experience all your mistakes. I think the scary part though is the world is not only scrapes and bruises... its flat out deadly and there is the very real chance that one false move because you let your child go into something unprepared means they WILL DIE. The world stops for nobody and will leave you far behind shattered and broken if you're not quick on your feet. Frankly, the perils that face adulthood are not that different than the struggle of life and death you see on the discovery channel.

      Now maybe I'm ranting at this point. I suppose my perspective is that yes, they should let you grow. I dont think anybody, including parents, really understand how hard that part is about having kids. However, if I could talk to my 15 year old self I would tell her not to worry about growing up so fast. It will most definitely come. Its the youth, the ability to be safe and live with very few worries that is so magical about being young and once its gone its an uphill battle to survive.

      That's just one perspective anyway. Food for thought.
      "Nothing ruins the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love" - Charlie Brown
    • Re: How can parents love but don't care?

      Thanks everyone. I have spoken to my mum again in an adult manner and explained my view. She really didn't get it the first time and seems to be coming round this time. I think she didn't notice how mature I have become and that I can think for the benefit of myself, I'm not reckless!