So I'm in a crappy place, I guess. I've been feeling lowish for about 2 years but apparently it's getting worse, but I can't tell. About 5 individual people have all told me to get help, friends, family, nurses, and I don't understand why sometimes. Occasionally I have a huge low, every few weeks or so, and I have major depressive symptoms, I will cut and I have had a few suicidal thoughts, but I don't feel like this all the time. In the inbetween weeks, I just feel bored, tired and disinterested in everything, but I don't constantly feel like I can't cope.
I've been to a woman (I don't know what she was) and I just felt patronised. She told the woman who took me that I'm 'seriously ill' but I just feel like all that I need is a hug and however sad this sounds, to be in a relationship. Confirmation that I can be desirable and wanted and to have someone there just to protect me, all of which family and friends just can't do.
I dieted majorly a few months ago and lost 10 pounds in a month, getting to 120 pounds and I'm 5'7. I occasionally experimented with bulimia but I've stopped doing that but now I feel disgusting and fat and ugly again.
I've got to go to this woman again tomorrow, it's just so horrible, but I really don't want to because there's nothing wrong with me, but I don't want to let down my friends and family who've asked me to do this for them. I don't want to be made more of an outsider and a freak than I already feel and I think this will do that. Help...
I've been to a woman (I don't know what she was) and I just felt patronised. She told the woman who took me that I'm 'seriously ill' but I just feel like all that I need is a hug and however sad this sounds, to be in a relationship. Confirmation that I can be desirable and wanted and to have someone there just to protect me, all of which family and friends just can't do.
I dieted majorly a few months ago and lost 10 pounds in a month, getting to 120 pounds and I'm 5'7. I occasionally experimented with bulimia but I've stopped doing that but now I feel disgusting and fat and ugly again.
I've got to go to this woman again tomorrow, it's just so horrible, but I really don't want to because there's nothing wrong with me, but I don't want to let down my friends and family who've asked me to do this for them. I don't want to be made more of an outsider and a freak than I already feel and I think this will do that. Help...