Torn between dating and friendship?

    • Torn between dating and friendship?

      There's a girl I know, and...she's wonderful. Her name is Melanie. She's one of my best friends. I love her personality, and I think she's quite beautiful. She's friends with all of the ROTC people too, so that's a plus (since I'm in that).

      She has liked me, and I think if I asked her, she would say yes.

      I just don't know if I should date her or not. I've been in 3 relationships; first in 6th grade (broke up with me for being "boring"); 2nd in 7th grade (I broke up with her because I wasn't really feeling it); 3rd in freshman year, with a senior (who broke up with me because I was trying to give her space, ie not having kissed her/etc).

      All three of these relationships have one common factor: I got pressured into them. I was put on the spot; how could I refuse? Of course, I was weak-willed, and stupid. So that's that. I nearly got pressured into a relationship with Melanie, only this time I didn't want to have another screw up.

      My worry is that dating her will ruin our friendship in the inevitability that we break up. But she's strong, too; my friends have told me that she took my rejection really well, and would probably do the same if we broke up.

      I think she's awesome. But then, she's good enough as a friend...God, I don't know where to go. I feel like I'll lose interest. With sophomore year coming up, I'm holding out on the hope that I meet someone else, or change my mind, or...something.

      What should I do?
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    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      V1NC3 wrote:

      You mean JROTC? You can't train to become an officer when you are only 15 :p

      Btw, it depends how close you are to her as a friend. If you would consider her one of your best friends, then don't do it unless you are positive she feels the same way to you as you do to her


      Yeah, I meant JROTC.

      She would date me, it's all up to me really. I just...eh.
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    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      Leonodas wrote:


      She would date me, it's all up to me really. I just...eh.


      Then don't. If you aren't certain then just stay friends, I mean sure it might work, but if you aren't sure bout your feelings then I don't know. Lol, some answer this is, but I just think since you most likely will meet someone else this school year, and you aren't even certain 'bout your feelings, just stay friends 'cause if you actually saw something in the future with her you'd probably have some sort of feelings towards her more then what you have now.

      #advicefail
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    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      Scarlet wrote:

      Then don't. If you aren't certain then just stay friends, I mean sure it might work, but if you aren't sure bout your feelings then I don't know. Lol, some answer this is, but I just think since you most likely will meet someone else this school year, and you aren't even certain 'bout your feelings, just stay friends 'cause if you actually saw something in the future with her you'd probably have some sort of feelings towards her more then what you have now.

      #advicefail


      Thank you anyways. It's not like there was a wide range of advice to give me for something so arbitrary anyway. :p
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    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      Leonodas wrote:

      Thank you anyways. It's not like there was a wide range of advice to give me for something so arbitrary anyway. :p


      Lol I'm going go all controversial (wrong word) on what I just said, maybe you could take a chance with her? Maybe that wouldn't exactly be fair to her feelings, but then you'd know and clearly that's what would be better for ya anyway. You know, just find some clarity whether the relationship would work or not. And if it doesn't, whatever, she'd probably be fine and you would know and just continue with the friendship, probably. :lol:

      I think you should be sure still though. Now I'll shut up. xD
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      The post was edited 2 times, last by Scarlet ().

    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      WearAngels wrote:

      You bother things that haven't yet through, why don't you have a try ? Maybe you will be compatible with one another, just give her a chance in respect to what she has offered you.


      I just don't want to screw it up. Or regret it. Or both.
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    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      maybe you should explain to her how you feel. Then see how it works. its better than going ten years in life thinking about why you didn't give the relationship a chance.

      and if i doesn't working out, you can try going back to being friends. it most likely will be hard. I know because it happened to me twice before. but if she sticks around, then she's a true friend

    • Re: Torn between dating and friendship?

      I dated a good friend of mine once. Won't do it again. It was awkward as hell. I'd known him so long there just wasn't any physical attraction, he was more like a brother to me.. But my "best friend" (lol, aka two faced bitch.. But anyway) encouraged him and egged him on and basically forced me into dating him, I couldn't shoot him down. Took me ages to dump him because I didn't want to hurt him. In the end, we don't even speak now because it's so uncomfortable for me (because of how I dumped him... :nono:). So I lost a really good friend. However that's just my experience. Be sure there really IS attraction there before you do anything that might cause tension.