This is my first post, so I hope I'm not breaking any rules here.

So, I used to attend a Sunday school type of deal at the church my parents took me to. And in my class, there was this really beautiful girl. I had…have, a huge crush on her. I didn’t talk to her for a while, until two years ago. She was very friendly and easy to talk to. So I got less nervous around her. But I was still too afraid to ask her out. The class eventually ended with summer arriving, and we went our separate ways.

The following year, this past one, I was stuck in the class again. Luckily, she was also there. Every day after class, I would stand with her by the door to the outside of the building while she waited for her ride to show up. I just shyly made small talk. I guess over the course of a summer, I lost my nerve.

Somewhere along the lines, I became an atheist. It took me a while, but I opened up to my parents about it. They were both fairly okay with it. (My mother more than my father.) However, I had to ask them if I could continue the classes, even though I don’t believe any of it. My father was furious, but my mother, who I live with most of the time, allowed it.

So I continued nonchalantly attending classes. I admit it got very hard keeping my mouth shut while the teacher spewed inane garbage. But I held my own for most of the year. Until one fateful day, I was not in the best of moods. And the teacher started telling the class how horrible abortion is, even if the victim is raped. I guess I lost control and before I knew it, we were in a heated arguement. Looking back on it, while I was the more reasonable one, that was stupid of me.

Anyway, from that day onward, the girl stopped talking to me. She avoided eye contact. When I stood by and waited for her, she would walk in the woman’s restroom and wouldn’t come out until her parents showed up. After a few days of this, I grew angry. I figured she must be avoiding me because of what I said. And I decided she must really be a stuck up bitch under her kind exterior. After I came to this conclusion, I stopped attending the classes. There was no point anymore. This was a few months ago. Now, as I think harder about it (it’s sad that I’m not over her), I feel convinced I over reacted. And I want to try again. However, we don’t attend the same school, and there are no more Sunday classes for people our age. The only conceivable time would be in church. But even then, she always attended with her family. There isn’t any real “alone time” I guess. I would have no problem returning to church every Sunday if it meant I could at least see her again. But I don’t know if it’d be worth it.

Well there you go. An entire summer of fretting and anger, waiting for the answer to come to me, and there it is, give up. An answer I should've thought of on my own if I didn't harbor so much hope. And I don't even really believe in hope. I just allowed this one mental treat. But even the advice forum, my one saving grace, had the ever present answer that I just couldn't accept. "You fucked up". So simple. I'm not angry at you, don't think I am. You are just telling the truth. I'm furious at myself for being such an idiot.

Hipster wrote:

So basically, "she's a Christian that got offended that you voiced your own opinion over a morbid subject, that must make her a bitch."
it doesn't.

Thank you. I know, I realize. I realized it a while ago. I thought I wrote that. But rub it in a little more. Because that's what I really need.

EDIT: Yes, I did. I wrote it that I'm aware I was an idiot! "This was a few months ago. Now, as I think harder about it (it’s sad that I’m not over her), I feel convinced I over reacted." I wonder if you chose not to read on. If you just read up to that, scrolled down and saw how upset I was at the fact that I had completely ruined everything, and just decided to open the wound wider and dump salt down inside.

Well thank you for replying. And delivering the hard truth.

I knew that was an option. But what am I to say? We haven't talked all summer and she doesn't attend alone, but with her parents.

Of course not! Don't patronize me, I hate that. I'm sorry. Some people just prefer talking one on one so that they don't feel pressured into saying or not saying something. That's why a lot of people don't try to make conversation with their crushes when they're in a circle of friends. And it is exceptionally hard for someone like me who just isn't very good at interacting in social situations.

meg.loomis wrote:

How hard is it to casually ask to speak to her for a moment alone?

I'm not saying I'm completely inept when it comes to speaking. Of course it isn't hard. I'm just being cautious here. Shouldn't I be? I want to know the right things to say or when to say them.

Thank you to the people who at least tried to help. That's what advice forums are for, after all.



When you've seen people for what they really are, you might understand why I'm cautious. You know, not all of us can throw it to the wind without being really uncomfortable. You are a prime example here. You don't understand that some people aren't as socially skilled as you. You just assume I don't really care. Would I really bother making this thread if this whole thing didn't matter to me? Me? Here, let me enlighten you on myself. I have some serious trust issues with other people. I'm a paranoid individual and I go out of my way to do everything on my own. But I just found myself too ignorant on the subject. And believe me, I tried every dating advice column I could use. But here I am. No, not excuses. More like everything that's been on my mind for a pretty long time. And a lot of damn effort. If you can't realize that some people just aren't as well versed as you in these situations, then stop trying to give advice.