New friends

    • New friends

      I have social anxiety and want to expess myself more so I can make new friends but I don't know how to. What should I do? Any advice?

      Also when I am having a conversation with them or anyone else. I am as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike when the conversation ends awkwardly. How do I pick up from the awkward part? Any advice?
      And when I talk to someone I have a bad habit of giving one worded answers such as yes, no etc.. Any advice?

    • Re: New friends

      Hi ItsMee,

      I absolutely know how you feel. I'm definitely not the one to strike up conversations. However, if you want to make new friends, you've gotta get over it. Whenever you're around people you don't know, introduce yourself. Ask common questions that would relate like where they go to school and their hobbies.

      If someone has introduced you to someone else, ask that person how they met the person that introduced you. You gotta get away from those one word answers. You should definitely follow up with a sentence. So if someone asked you if you go to parties, instead of saying no, state why you don't go to parties. Follow up with something else like what you do instead of going to parties.

      If the conversation is ending awkwardly, change the subject. You can easily talk about a tv show or ask what their musical interests are. Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone and to keep the conversation going. Someone may say something that's a bit out the way, but keep the conversation moving anyway.

      You have to be brave enough to fight through your social anxiety and don't let it over power you. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress :)

    • Re: New friends

      I agree with Miss Scarlet. For others to be interested in you, you must first be interested in yourself. Have confidence. Think positive thoughts like "my opinions matter!" research conversation ice breakers or read up on the latest trend so that you have things to chat about with other people.

    • Re: New friends

      Miss Scarlet wrote:

      Hi ItsMee,

      I absolutely know how you feel. I'm definitely not the one to strike up conversations. However, if you want to make new friends, you've gotta get over it. Whenever you're around people you don't know, introduce yourself. Ask common questions that would relate like where they go to school and their hobbies.

      If someone has introduced you to someone else, ask that person how they met the person that introduced you. You gotta get away from those one word answers. You should definitely follow up with a sentence. So if someone asked you if you go to parties, instead of saying no, state why you don't go to parties. Follow up with something else like what you do instead of going to parties.

      If the conversation is ending awkwardly, change the subject. You can easily talk about a tv show or ask what their musical interests are. Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone and to keep the conversation going. Someone may say something that's a bit out the way, but keep the conversation moving anyway.

      You have to be brave enough to fight through your social anxiety and don't let it over power you. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress :)

      I PM'd you.

      ---------- Post added at 10:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 PM ----------

      carpe-diem wrote:

      I agree with Miss Scarlet. For others to be interested in you, you must first be interested in yourself. Have confidence. Think positive thoughts like "my opinions matter!" research conversation ice breakers or read up on the latest trend so that you have things to chat about with other people.

      I have confidence. I will look up the latest trend. Thanks. :).

    • Re: New friends

      Miss Scarlet speaks the truth. You need to ask open questions rather than closed questions (closed questions allow only a yes or no type answer). Pick up on little bits in what they're saying, feed off them and ask more questions.

      Eg. Say you ask someone if they saw a show last night and they say "No I was out at the cinema" Instead of ending the convo because they didn't see the show you intended to speak to them about, you can ask them about what they went to see, if you haven't seen it you can ask if it's good, if you have you can reminisce over the good bits.

      Shitty example but I hope you get my drift, I tried to help. Really it's about practice and learning to be more confident in yourself :)

    • Re: New friends

      (8)jaseyrae<3 wrote:

      Miss Scarlet speaks the truth. You need to ask open questions rather than closed questions (closed questions allow only a yes or no type answer). Pick up on little bits in what they're saying, feed off them and ask more questions.

      Eg. Say you ask someone if they saw a show last night and they say "No I was out at the cinema" Instead of ending the convo because they didn't see the show you intended to speak to them about, you can ask them about what they went to see, if you haven't seen it you can ask if it's good, if you have you can reminisce over the good bits.

      Shitty example but I hope you get my drift, I tried to help. Really it's about practice and learning to be more confident in yourself :)

      I guess your right, practice and more confidence. I didn't find your example shitty at all.
      Any more advice and examples are welcome. :D :).