How to say no to a date nicely?

    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Refraze wrote:

      Personality is key, but you can't really force attraction.
      Appearance is everything, but if I'm not attracted to someone, no matter how sweet/kind they are; wouldn't date them. I feel bad for that, but its honest.


      Hah well that's true too. That's why I said I judge personality first...attraction would be second, because honestly attraction can sometimes grow into something more than it is at first. At least, in my experience. But then, most of my relationships haven't exactly lasted, so maybe I'm going about it wrong ha.
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    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Musicaddicted wrote:

      Hah well that's true too. That's why I said I judge personality first...attraction would be second, because honestly attraction can sometimes grow into something more than it is at first. At least, in my experience. But then, most of my relationships haven't exactly lasted, so maybe I'm going about it wrong ha.


      Nah, I've had relationships where the person was sweet, attraction was there a bit, but not much. Grew over time.. but I soon found that she wasn't the person I thought she was LOL. Oh well.

      Mine haven't lasted either. I have a habit of picking the wrong girls it seems.

    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Refraze wrote:

      See, I swear these girls are sweet and nice. Then when its too late I realize they are far from.. then its me getting hurt.

      That just about sums my dating life up.


      Reverse that and replace guys with girls, that's my dating history ha.

      ---------- Post added at 11:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:04 PM ----------

      JohnDoe429 wrote:

      Beauty is subjective anyways.


      This! People forget that sometimes.
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    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      JohnDoe429 wrote:

      Cause most girls are shallow.

      Sorry, not sorry.


      I think that's a bit of a generalisation. Whilst if someone is good looking, it's a bonus and some level of attraction is necessary in a relationship, looks fade over time - so overall, personality has to be key. That's how I see it.

      Often, if I find a guy physically attractive when I meet him, but personality-wise he's a complete douchebag, I start to find him much less attractive.
      This works the opposite way also, in that whilst a guy may not be initially attractive, his personality can lead me to find him more attractive.

      Everyone is naturally a bit shallow - it's basic biology - it's natural to be attracted to certain people over others.

      Plus, pretty much all the guys I know are just as, if not more shallow than the girls.

      The post was edited 1 time, last by (8)jaseyrae<3 ().

    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Well in the past week, I've been asked out for a drink, to go out shopping twice, to go to the cinema and to go over their house for a movie. These are by a few guys and I've done none of those because I'm still not over my ex. I know that the majority of those aren't dates, it's just to meet up. The guy who's invited me over his (who I've kissed a few times like over a year ago), out for a drink and to go shopping twice, I really don't know what his intentions are. I don't want to say 'no I'm not interested' and then they say 'I was only asking you out to hang out as friends'. I usually am very open to go out but I just don't feel ready.
      I know the guy who invited me to the cinema likes me, it's obvious so that would most definitely be a date.
      I'm not shallow. I've been on dates with guys I wasn't particularly fond of and I either find out if I like them or I don't. When I went on the first couple of dates with me recent ex, I wasn't particularly interested as his personality was so different to mine and we had nothing in common but we got together and I fell in love with him. I thought he was the one.
      I'm not turning them down because you've assumed I'm shallow. I just love my ex still.

      ---------- Post added at 03:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 PM ----------
      Often, if I find a guy physically attractive when I meet him, but personality-wise he's a complete douchebag, I start to find him much less attractive.

      Yeah and that works both ways. If you're not immediately attracted to their looks but their personality is great and you can see they're a nice person, they become more attractive to you. It's so weird but true. If they're good looking and have a good personality, that's a great person to find! :)
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      la rubia loca wrote:

      what is prolapse?
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    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Hann. wrote:


      I'm not turning them down because you've assumed I'm shallow. I just love my ex still.


      Oh this whole thread makes more sense now ha. It sucks not being over an ex though, I feel for you.
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    • Re: How to say no to a date nicely?

      Ahh, I feel for you, not being able to get over an ex is awful :/

      JohnDoe429 wrote:

      oMG UR SO POPULARRRRRRR.

      But seriously if there are better guys who want stuff get over your ex.


      LOL, just realised this is the same guy who criticises all women for being sluts.
      And yet you tell this girl to go with any guy who "wants stuff" or whatevs. Ew.,