I'm 17 years old, and I've always dealt with depression and insecurities. Because it was such a regular thing, I didn't think anything of it when it resurfaced a couple months ago.
A few days went by, and every now and then I'd just feel down in a general sense. But after another few days, I started feeling very low for long periods of time. It would come more frequently, and last much longer than before. Another couple days, and I was constantly low. It started turning into more than just feeling down, too. I felt completely hopeless and worthless. I would catch myself saying really mean things to people I love without thinking. On multiple occasions, I would sit in front of my mirror and stare at my body, and just cry because I thought I was disgusting.
It became, and still is, and obsession. Every few minutes, I'll pull up the sleeve of my sweatshirt and look at the skin on my arm, and just think about how disgusting I am. I swear I just make myself see things that aren't there. I cry for hours on end, even if nothing initiated it; for absolutely no reason at all. Then, I'll be happy as a clam until the next time I feel disgusting.
All in all, I have no idea what's going on. Like I said, I've dealt with things LIKE this before, but never something to this extent. I have never thought about self-harming or not cared about anything so much in my life, until now. I can't even wear clothes that my mom buys me in fear that people will see the flaws in my skin that I somehow see. I just can't do it anymore...I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
A few days went by, and every now and then I'd just feel down in a general sense. But after another few days, I started feeling very low for long periods of time. It would come more frequently, and last much longer than before. Another couple days, and I was constantly low. It started turning into more than just feeling down, too. I felt completely hopeless and worthless. I would catch myself saying really mean things to people I love without thinking. On multiple occasions, I would sit in front of my mirror and stare at my body, and just cry because I thought I was disgusting.
It became, and still is, and obsession. Every few minutes, I'll pull up the sleeve of my sweatshirt and look at the skin on my arm, and just think about how disgusting I am. I swear I just make myself see things that aren't there. I cry for hours on end, even if nothing initiated it; for absolutely no reason at all. Then, I'll be happy as a clam until the next time I feel disgusting.
All in all, I have no idea what's going on. Like I said, I've dealt with things LIKE this before, but never something to this extent. I have never thought about self-harming or not cared about anything so much in my life, until now. I can't even wear clothes that my mom buys me in fear that people will see the flaws in my skin that I somehow see. I just can't do it anymore...I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.