Family is so messed up.

    • Family is so messed up.

      Ok, hello. :) Don't know what/how to post on here but I hope I'm doing this correctly. If it's in the wrong place or if there's anything wrong please tell me.

      Going on this delves into family and other topics but it's mostly family based. My mother is of Scottish descent and holds a citizenship and my father is unemployed. For the past couple months my mother has been on the decline in her health and she had become bed ridden. She stopped eating and started throwing up, refusing to go see a doctor because of her distrust for them and she believed that she could cure it herself. I was concerned so I managed to convince her to just get a blood test and it came back with concerning results dealing with her liver. So, her natural doctor (the one that administered the blood test) told to go get a cat scan. She did and they found a lump, she refused to go back to the doctors and I called my aunt who is a nurse. My grandmother died three years ago because of cancer and so I know it runs in the family. We figured that it must've been serious and so I once again managed to convince her to go to Scotland for medical treatment because if we were to do that in America we'd lose our house and be in extreme debt. So now her and I are both in Scotland, our family could only afford two tickets and my aunt had to pay for that. She's in the hospital and the doctors said that if she had been here a day later she would have died.

      And now, with that background, here's my current problem. I don't know what to do for housing, education, citizenship, etc,. I'm able to get a citizenship because of my mother, it would cost a great deal of money. I'm currently living in a too small house with my aunt and her kids while my mother is in the hospital, three rooms and four people- five when my mother gets out. And I haven't been in school since last year. I don't want to be a uneducated bum who has to work at McDonalds for the rest of her life and I have no direction whatsoever about what to do.

      Plus, I'm an introvert who's terrible at making friends.

      Help me.

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Where were you in school beforehand? I'll be honest, you're in a very difficult situation, one I'm not sure I'll be able to answer. Clearly your family is going through some very tough times. Have you talked to your aunt or whoever else you're living with about it?

      I would like to hear more about your situation though, maybe more details. What grade were you in before you had to stop?

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Well, this is your first step to making friends.

      This is complicated. I'm not very sure which country's citizenship you currently hold, but you should definitely stay and study in the country which you are a citizen of, because the country would be able to provide you with affordable housing and perhaps even free education. Every country has schemes put in place to help the people. If you are a UK citizen, healthcare etc would be affordable since it is a welfare state.

      However, if you are an American citizen currently in Scotland, then everything would be hella expensive. Which in this case, it would be harder.

      Currently, I would say that you would need to enrol yourself in a public school and work part-time to earn your keep. Education is vital. I'll see what else I can provide after your reply :)

      PS. I'm not sure whether cancer is hereditary. Likely not. It should be liver problems that is.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."

      The post was edited 1 time, last by ztmj96: Post-script ().

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      livingtoride96 wrote:

      Have you considered homeschooling? That's quite a bit you can do online, and it makes for a very flexible schedule as well if you were to want together a job... And I swear it's not as bad as everyone says :)


      I was going to doubt home-schooling in the first place. But since livingtoride96 (what's your name? For future references ;) ) has made it clear, why not? :)
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      livingtoride96 wrote:

      Have you considered homeschooling? That's quite a bit you can do online, and it makes for a very flexible schedule as well if you were to want together a job... And I swear it's not as bad as everyone says :)


      In my opinion, homeschooling itself isn't bad, it's what you can do afterwards that is the problem. It's very tough getting into a university being homeschooled, although I'm sure you can get into the trades or colleges with not too much trouble.

      Regardless, as someone else said, education is definitely key and you have to find a way to make it work. Personally I think you'd need to find a way to get back to the States to finish your schooling, then maybe apply to a Scottish University where you can be close to your mother and be in school at the same time. That plus a part-time job which I'm sure will be necessary. But again, looking to hear more details first.

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Best Friend wrote:

      In my opinion, homeschooling itself isn't bad, it's what you can do afterwards that is the problem. It's very tough getting into a university being homeschooled, although I'm sure you can get into the trades or colleges with not too much trouble.


      That's why. You need a degree, either GCSE or SAT.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Oh my, I really didn't expect any responses. :O Thanks.
      As for more details, it definitely was cancer.
      1.) When we arrived here in Scotland my mom was rushed to the hospital and they took out a cancerous growth. We don't know if she'll be having chemo since she's taking so long to recover.
      2.) I've been homeschooled since 9th grade and I've fallen behind this past year because of a bunch of reasons, one of them being my abusive dad.
      3.) I currently have an Australian citizenship, an American citizenship and because

      ---------- Post added at 01:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:01 PM ----------

      Dog stepped on my keyboard ^_^' sorry

      3.) My mom is an Australian-Scott and I can claim citizenship, but it'll be hard and expensive.

      4.) I've talked to my aunt about the school situation and she gets upset, because in order for me to stay in the house she'll have to make her 22 year old son, who suffers from depression, move in with his brother. She's really worrying about it and she doesn't know how she'll support us. And as long as I'm in Scotland I can't work because I'm here on 'holiday'. We have two tickets for returning in Feb, so there is that. They don't have GED's here in Scotland, so I could go home and do that while making money and then return. BUT then I have to deal with the abusive father so I'm terrified.

      It seems everywhere I go I make trouble D:

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      HelloBeautiful~ wrote:

      Oh my, I really didn't expect any responses. :O Thanks.
      As for more details, it definitely was cancer.
      1.) When we arrived here in Scotland my mom was rushed to the hospital and they took out a cancerous growth. We don't know if she'll be having chemo since she's taking so long to recover.
      2.) I've been homeschooled since 9th grade and I've fallen behind this past year because of a bunch of reasons, one of them being my abusive dad.
      3.) I currently have an Australian citizenship, an American citizenship and because

      ---------- Post added at 01:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:01 PM ----------

      Dog stepped on my keyboard ^_^' sorry

      3.) My mom is an Australian-Scott and I can claim citizenship, but it'll be hard and expensive.

      4.) I've talked to my aunt about the school situation and she gets upset, because in order for me to stay in the house she'll have to make her 22 year old son, who suffers from depression, move in with his brother. She's really worrying about it and she doesn't know how she'll support us. And as long as I'm in Scotland I can't work because I'm here on 'holiday'. We have two tickets for returning in Feb, so there is that. They don't have GED's here in Scotland, so I could go home and do that while making money and then return. BUT then I have to deal with the abusive father so I'm terrified.

      It seems everywhere I go I make trouble D:



      Just bad luck, never blame yourself. It's definitely nothing you've done, and nobody can say it's your fault.

      At least you're only in Scotland for another month or so. Tell her not to worry about her son, try to talk her into getting him to stay if possible. Sleep on the floor, do whatever it takes to keep a strong relationship with your aunt. Do exactly what you're there for, have a "vacation." Just recuperate, get your life back in order and relax. Either help your aunt make meals, or tell her not to worry and you will make your own food or whatever. Just try not to be too much of a burden on her. Especially thank her every day for her helping you out, at least let her know that you're thankful with what she's given and had to sacrifice.

      Go back to school in the States and finish highschool if possible or at least get your GED. Is your mother staying in Scotland with your aunt or coming back home with you? And do you have anyone else to stay with or is your dad the only option? Definitely talk to someone you know well and trust when you get back though about your situation. It'll definitely be tough, but try to get a part-time job as well. An education with some money on the side is definitely the way to go.

      And with regards to your abusive dad, if he continues to be so, tell someone! Again, either someone you can build trust with and feel comfortable talking to, and see if they can help you out. People on this site- myself included- are definitely free to talk to constantly to help you out. Never feel like you're alone, there will always be people that care about you, even if it a complete stranger that you've never met behind a computer screen. We've got your back :hugs:

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Three times. I had to write this response three times X(

      Ugh, how can I get rid of bad luck?

      But that sounds like a great idea, if not for the fact that mother would have to stay here no matter what for her follow up surgeries and possible chemo. My Aunt will be working during that time and probably won't be able to look after her from 6am-6pm and I can't help but feel panicked about that.

      Aside from that, neither my mom or I want me to go... Ugh, stupid emotions X( I guess I'll talk with my Aunt and mom when my mom's up to this and discuss the options.

      Thank you so much Q^Q

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      HelloBeautiful~ wrote:

      Three times. I had to write this response three times X(

      Ugh, how can I get rid of bad luck?

      But that sounds like a great idea, if not for the fact that mother would have to stay here no matter what for her follow up surgeries and possible chemo. My Aunt will be working during that time and probably won't be able to look after her from 6am-6pm and I can't help but feel panicked about that.

      Aside from that, neither my mom or I want me to go... Ugh, stupid emotions X( I guess I'll talk with my Aunt and mom when my mom's up to this and discuss the options.

      Thank you so much Q^Q


      Just a question though, why do you have return tickets if neither yourself nor your mom want you to go?

      With your mom staying, maybe stay there too then for now. Take the year off of education and work full time with whatever job you can find. Let your moms health recover, or at the very least see what the doctors are still saying after a few months. Use the money and either give it to your aunt or help over medical costs for your mom. Once its summertime, reconsider your options and going back to finish your education.

      I dont see a problem with taking a while too from school, as long as you go back and finish it at some point. It'll be tough leaving from it and then trying o find the motivation to go back, but in the long run it'll be worth it.

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      Medical is free for Scottish citizens, there are no medical costs. And to be honest, my Uncle bought the tickets with absolutely no idea what was going on, so we have return tickets.

      It never occurred to me that I could return to it... Hm, sounds better than trying to rush everything together.

      Can I ask a question though? Am I the only one dealing with these issues? I know no one else who's currently dealing with anything similar.

      But, nonetheless, thank you :)

    • Re: Family is so messed up.

      HelloBeautiful~ wrote:

      Medical is free for Scottish citizens, there are no medical costs. And to be honest, my Uncle bought the tickets with absolutely no idea what was going on, so we have return tickets.

      It never occurred to me that I could return to it... Hm, sounds better than trying to rush everything together.

      Can I ask a question though? Am I the only one dealing with these issues? I know no one else who's currently dealing with anything similar.

      But, nonetheless, thank you :)


      Haha I'm sure there is plenty of people dealing with these issues, maybe not on this site, but there definitely is.

      Heck, at least you have food, water, and electricity. You outclass basically all of Africa (y)