"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great"

    • "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great"

      Almost 11 months. She's 16, I'm 15. Happy, but rarely. :p

      Our relationship is dying out, simply put. I no longer am as interested in her as I first was. I don't intend on staying with her for the rest of my life. She's nice, and we have nice moments, but she's not my dream girl. But i'm putting off the break up.

      We've fought a good 8/9ths of the past 3 months, over jealousy, parents, annoyances, and pretty much everything else a couple can fight about. Except cheating, thankfully.

      The two of us are different in plenty of ways, and many people wonder why we're together. But for the better part of our 11 months she's made me happy and I have her; we escaped aloneness in eachother.

      But am I ready to be alone? We bicker constantly, she's always crying, I'm always annoyed/upset. She also has to deal with much more jealousy than I do, because as shallow as this sounds, I'm the more attractive one. (I'm not sure whether this is lucky for me or unlucky in our relationship). So she's always jealous.

      And I've been thinking about other girls lately X( I fantasize all the time and even though I never flirt and I would never cheat on her, i'm losing attraction to her and I know that if it has happened before we've even made a year then it can't mean well for us spending our lives together. I want to see other people, and I want to be able to hang out with more people and have more time for my friends- but I don't want to be alone :/

      To top things off, I think she's crushing on my best friend .-. i know she would never do anything about it but still, it's embarrassing.

      I can't figure out what I should do. I've been postponing our breakup for months! Do I cut it off now or do I let it hang on by a thread? Do I try to make it work, and try to spend the rest of my life with my first girlfriend? I mean I can make myself love her if i try, but how well will that really work.....

      and if i do break up with her, how would i do it? I want to minimize the damage because she really loves me and i care about her. plus being single even with my freedom would suck for a long time, I know that. WHAT SHOULD I DO. btw: I know I'll come off as a douche, you don't have to remind me :/
    • Re: "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great"

      Your situation is uncannily similar to my first relationship.

      I think a breakup seems close. If you want a breakup, do it personally. Face to face, but privately.

      And yea, you do sound like a guy who wants to end this relationship to be ready for another.
      And you're 15, so you probably shouldn't think about long-term relationship yet. That's for young adults. Just treasure the freedom you own being single. I felt the same way before, wanting to "hang out with more people and have more time for my friends", but you can't guarantee the next girlfriend of yours would not be clingy.

      Also, don't waste your time and hers if you have no feelings for her. One reason I think, that you're losing attraction to her, is partly due to all the negativity in he relationship. The bickering, the annoyance, the jealousy. That was also the tipping point of my first relationship.

      Off the point, the reason that "you're no longer as interested in her as (you) first were" and that you both got together despite of the differences is most likely due to hormones and other chemicals in the brain. Think clearly next time so you won't have to break another girl's heart.
      "You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like Heaven."
    • Re: "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great"

      You should just break up as you don't have the same feelings anymore for her as in the beginning and this is something you could tell her that would lead to telling her that you want to break up.

      It's better to break up sooner then wait till it really will annoy you. As for fights, well you need to talk those out together.. and you just need to learn to trust each other if you realy want the relationship to go anywhere.

      Just talk to her about the problems you are having and be honest to her and see where it goes to. If you really don't want a relationship with her anymore then you should just tell her that in private ofcourse.
      [CENTER]It's the missing that will kill you,
      knowing you've missed your shot.
      ☆[/CENTER]
    • Re: "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great"

      This was my exact situation until yesterday when I left my boyfriend of 2 years, it was heartbreaking and I'm not gonna lie I feel awful, but I did the right thing. I think you should do the same. Remember its not your fault, sometimes things fade. Xx
      [FONT="Book Antiqua"][COLOR="Magenta"][U][U]To see the world in a grain of sand...[/U][/COLOR][/FONT][/U]