Re: ='(

Papa Bear · Nov 24th 2007, 9:42pm

see i don't really understand it, but argh. girls are so confusing. we didn't even last a year, and she wants to break up with me:(
I'm going.. or was going out with this girl. she was kind of shy. my parents weren't really a fan of her. they took her as rude because everytime she came to my house she went straight to my room without saying hi. my mom found that kind of offensive, but she was shy, thats just how she was. at big partys, if she didn't know anyone, instead of trying to make new friends, she would just block hereself from the rest. I had to stay outside with her because i wanted to be with her. she has a really, really low self-esteem

then like a month ago, she started getting dizzy and passing out. I knew she wasn't eating much but i didn't really pay attention to it. it was pretty clear she was anorexic. she feels bad even after drinkin water :O

my dad told me that i had to becareful of her. she's the suicidal type. that if i ever wanted to break up with her, to be careful because she'd looked like the type to say she was gonna commit suicide if i ever broke up with her. though i had no intentions of breaking up because i loved her.

so that was it. last monday, her dog died. she was pretty bummed out after that, i understand that. dogs can become part of family, but she didn't want to go out anymore or anything. she just stayed in her room. I stayed with her for a while until i told her this couldn't be healthy, let's go out. she got so mad after that. she called me selfish and said i didn't care bout her, or her feelings or anything.

we haven't seen each other since then, but yesterday, she sent me a text saying she wasn't up for this anymore. that she wanted to break up :O

right now.. i don't know. i don't even know what i did wrong. she wouldn't even say it to my face. she texted me instead:mad:
but i don't want to break up with her. she's just imipossible to talk to right now.

any advice on how to get back with her?

Nicole91 · Nov 24th 2007, 9:48pm

she seems like the "emo" type so if you can handle her being shy annorexic and suicidal then try getting back with her. She probably won't change but if you do want to get back with her go and see her one day and sort your problems out

i wouldn't though i'd move on 1. like your dad said do you really want to be with someone who is on the verge of suicide or look like it and aren't a happy person 2. she dumped you by text-not considerate at all 3.she didn't give you a reason 4. you both don't seem to have strong feelings for each other as you said it's pretty obvious she's annorexic but you havn't said if you've talked to her about this or tried to get her help, and alos you didn't pay much attention to her when she was fainting and stuff

my advice: move on find someone who will treat you better and will make you happier not bring you down

Pleasant.Addictions. · Nov 24th 2007, 9:48pm

I really don't think you should try to get back together with her. At least not yet, because it sounds like she's really upset and she'll probably get angrier.

Just let her know you're there for her and help her out if you can. Stuff like that.

assassinROW · Nov 24th 2007, 10:17pm

she needs a few hundred protien shakes and food with a lot of cards, and an anti depressent, thats just not health, i lost 35lbs in a month.. but i was still happy, and always doing stuff and played 2 sports.. so idk.. but uhm yeah she needs to eat, and get her self together, shes the selfish one..

x.VampireSaliva · Nov 24th 2007, 10:23pm

Don't get back with someone like that. There's millions of better choices out there and her being so damn depressing and anorexic and anti-social, you are better off without her in the long run.
Forget about her and find a happier girlfriend.

Tomski · Nov 24th 2007, 10:56pm

Okay, rather than me just saying don't get back with her I think you need to establish somethings for yourself.

What is about her that you love so much?
What are her best qualities?
What does she do to make to make you feel special?
do you understand each other well?

Also, I don't like how people have judged this girl on what you have said. There mut be a reason behind her anorexia, there must be things in her life that have given her a low self-esteem and i think if you want to get back with her you ae going to have to try and tackle these root causes. If she won't let you in, if she refuses to talk about it and won't accept anything from you no matter how hard you try then it is then that you have to try and move on, no matter ho hard it seems.

Papa Bear · Nov 24th 2007, 11:46pm

thanks, but if you could only get rid of those feelings easier..
I really want to get back with her. Just being with her made me feel good, I don't know how to explain it. I felt good when i made her laugh and eveyrthing. I really do care about her. and I don't want to end this like this.

her anorexia problem, i did try to make her eat. I didn't force her anything, but i offered her stuff. 90% of the time, she rejected what i offered. she always thought she was ugly no matter what i tell her

tessa_s212 · Nov 24th 2007, 11:52pm

JR, for her to really be able to love you, she's got to learn to love herself. To not think of herself as worthless, ugly, fat.

I know you care about her.. but right now I don't thhink what she needs is a boyfriend, but a friend. Stick by her, continue to be her friend. Try to help her. Does her parents know about her problem? (Heck, in today's society they might be the cause of her problem, I don't know.) Do any adults know? someone that can help her?

Papa Bear · Nov 25th 2007, 12:34am

she does have those parents issues. her parents are split. her dad moved away, so she barely sees him, and she dislikes her mom for some reason.
she said she would've moved with her dad if it wasn't for me. so that makes me think, she does care about me.. or cared. even just a little bit. I hope

tessa_s212 · Nov 25th 2007, 12:42am

J.R wrote:

she does have those parents issues. her parents are split. her dad moved away, so she barely sees him, and she dislikes her mom for some reason.
she said she would've moved with her dad if it wasn't for me. so that makes me think, she does care about me.. or cared. even just a little bit. I hope

I'm sure she cares. Right now, she's just got some extreme self esteem issues, which most likely are the reason she's so defensive and broke up with you over you not wanting her to be depressed about her dog anymore. She cares, but she just doesn't know how to show it or really truly care because right now she needs to work out those issues.

Do you think she'd be happier with her dad? Maybe you should talk to her and ask her more of why she doesn't like her mom... and if she really thinks she'd be happier at her dad's, maybe encourage her to go live with him. If so, I do hope you can also promise to continue to maybe talk on messenger or something.. keep in touch, ya know?

Papa Bear · Nov 25th 2007, 1:24am

you mean tell her to move further away from me?

i'll try to talk to her tomorrow. if nothing works out, i guess i could tell her to move with her dad. maybe it is best for her. if she's able to hold a convo tomorrow without gettin agry and frustrated for nothing..

tessa_s212 · Nov 25th 2007, 1:26am

J.R wrote:

you mean tell her to move further away from me?

Well, honestly, if I were in your shoes I'd be more concerned with her well-being more than my own. If that is what is best for her, if that will make her happier and less depressed, then yes. Whatever will be better for her. And if you care for her the way you say you do, you should want that. If moving to FL with his mom would be absolutely best and necessary for my boyfriend to be happy, then yes, I would let him to move. I'd give up my own happiness for his. That is what it means to care about someone. Ask yourself, do you really care about her? Do you really want her to be happy?

This, of coures, is all assuming that she'd be happier at her dad's. I don't know. I just assumed that since she didn't like her mom, and you were the only reason she stayed, that she'd be better off at her dad's.

This all reminds me of the movie Butterfly Effect.

Papa Bear · Nov 25th 2007, 1:33am

lol i didn't really pay attention to that movie. it was too confusing.

i said i was gonna talk to her... or atleast try

Phuck Buddy · Nov 25th 2007, 5:11pm

you should go see her and find out what she has to say face to face. you can't tell what anyone means over the phone

SweetTemptations · Nov 28th 2007, 4:49pm

I think shes just upset, seems like shes been through alot try comforting her obviously you dont want her to be upset about her dog but it takes time to heal i think she got kinda angry at that point plus everything else happening. Alot of girls are self concious, if you get back together ask her out to dinner and what her favorite place to eat is and then take her there try telling her again how she looks be honest nad tell her you really mean it.

indifferentx5590 · Nov 28th 2007, 5:29pm

if you really love her, then yeah, go back with her. but not yet. sounds like she needs a little bit of time. just text her, ask her how shes feeling, show you care. just be friends for a little while. try to get her some help. she may be clinically depressed...they have meds for that. and its hard to get people to accept help unless they admit to needing it.

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