Hello everyone. Just badly in need of sorting my thoughts out and possibly getting some advice.
I think I know what real depression feels like. I was always snappy and needed to cut every couple of hours. This had a reason- I had a fallout with the only person I considered a friend. Then, with exams closing in, I cut because I was scared of failing too.
It's been 3 years since then. Last year, my father passed, but I didn't feel angry to a prominent extent; I didn't cut unless family and school life was overwhelming. Since then, I lost my interest in art and writing. Each time I tried to get back in I would freeze up, which was extremely frustrating. So I quit those and got into swimming. It was a spurt of enthusiasm, but over the recent months that has been waning as well. I don't watch movies or TV shows with past vigor; I keep thinking to myself that I'm not "in the mood" yet. If there's one thing that hasn't changed, it's how seriously I'm taking my education. I still put in decent effort even though I'm basically asleep throughout morning classes.
I just don't know what I'm doing with my spare time anymore- nothing seems interesting. I kind of just roll around in bed until I conk off from exhaustion. Then wake up and sleep in class. Rinse and repeat .
I think I know what real depression feels like. I was always snappy and needed to cut every couple of hours. This had a reason- I had a fallout with the only person I considered a friend. Then, with exams closing in, I cut because I was scared of failing too.
It's been 3 years since then. Last year, my father passed, but I didn't feel angry to a prominent extent; I didn't cut unless family and school life was overwhelming. Since then, I lost my interest in art and writing. Each time I tried to get back in I would freeze up, which was extremely frustrating. So I quit those and got into swimming. It was a spurt of enthusiasm, but over the recent months that has been waning as well. I don't watch movies or TV shows with past vigor; I keep thinking to myself that I'm not "in the mood" yet. If there's one thing that hasn't changed, it's how seriously I'm taking my education. I still put in decent effort even though I'm basically asleep throughout morning classes.
I just don't know what I'm doing with my spare time anymore- nothing seems interesting. I kind of just roll around in bed until I conk off from exhaustion. Then wake up and sleep in class. Rinse and repeat .