Good day, my name is Walid, I'm a 15 year old Tunisian boy. I don't know how to start this
since my social skills are just... horrible, I can't find another word to describe how bad I am at
communicating with other human beings. Anyways I'm currently suffering a lot, I'm experiencing a
really bad depression/anger attack, I'm losing control of myself, I'm begging for God to help me
I'm begging him for mercy, I feel horribly bad for not doing my religious duties because of my
disgusting procrastination, physical fatigue, lack of interest in pretty much anything, constant
boredom and depression. I want to tell you a quick story, or maybe a theory on how this all started.
3 years ago, I used to be an amazing little kid, I was top of my class, I was popular, people really
liked me, I had friends that I used to enjoy our activities together, I used to always pray, fast
and do all my religious duties until the next year things have started to change. I don't really know
how to exactly explain what happened but, I started to have really horrible times, I started becoming
timid and really shy, my social skills majorly decreased, so did my self-esteem, even my relationship
with people, who started to become jealous of me (I think so) and hating me, mocking me trying to be
superior than me, and I didn't know how to defend myself, I got bullied many times by more powerful students and that kept
happening for more than 1 year and a half. I've had enough of it, but I couldn't fight back, I couldn't
do anything about it, so I started blaming it on myself, partly on my parents for not engaging me in
social contact with people of my age when I was younger even though I did have some friends, and they
let me stay at home for as long as I wanted, sometimes letting me skip lessons (that was like 10 years
ago). And I started to become psychologically unstable, I was having tons of questions that I didn't
for some reason get them out of my system, existencial questions, religious ones and more. My parents
didn't understand what was going on with me, they try to reason with me but I couldn't go with it,
they sometimes get mad at me and we had fights even with my sister (6 years older than me). At school
my skills have decreased, I couldn't answer any questions asked by my teachers, I started to have bad
grades, and at the end of last year I started calling my dad to bring me back home because I was too
scared from more social contact, I couldn't study or anything either. So, I took a year off school,
and I started checking therapists and psychiatrists, even a sophrologist that my current doctor
told me about, I started having suicidal thoughts so I had to try many medicines that my psy
told me to get, none of them had any effect on me, actually they made things worse, they gave me a huge
appetite for food and I gained a lot of weight, and they caused me to become physically tired (constantly).
We went through many theories about my case me and my psy, and I couldn't get any help. I started having these
attacks, that unfortunately we found no cure for, my parents couldn't help me, the hospitals here
are like freaking Arkham Asylum from Batman, which means they are just... disgusting and horrible
to stay in. I was just lost. Oh I forgot to mention that I was a Gamer back then, right now, I even
lost my passion for games, which is the only activity I used to do, so I find myself in a void with
nothing to do, and I started having alot of demands for my parents. My dad kept buying me what I wanted
but It didn't help me, it just brings temporary joy and then it fades away. Anyways that's where I'm
at now, I found out about this website by doing Google searchs and I really look forward to getting
help. Thx for taking your time to read this all, hope somebody can help me... tell me why everything has gone
to freaking hell n why it all flipped over... Well nobody can exactly know why but I'm looking for any kind of
help, even more questions about myself and theories could be helpful from other peeps.
since my social skills are just... horrible, I can't find another word to describe how bad I am at
communicating with other human beings. Anyways I'm currently suffering a lot, I'm experiencing a
really bad depression/anger attack, I'm losing control of myself, I'm begging for God to help me
I'm begging him for mercy, I feel horribly bad for not doing my religious duties because of my
disgusting procrastination, physical fatigue, lack of interest in pretty much anything, constant
boredom and depression. I want to tell you a quick story, or maybe a theory on how this all started.
3 years ago, I used to be an amazing little kid, I was top of my class, I was popular, people really
liked me, I had friends that I used to enjoy our activities together, I used to always pray, fast
and do all my religious duties until the next year things have started to change. I don't really know
how to exactly explain what happened but, I started to have really horrible times, I started becoming
timid and really shy, my social skills majorly decreased, so did my self-esteem, even my relationship
with people, who started to become jealous of me (I think so) and hating me, mocking me trying to be
superior than me, and I didn't know how to defend myself, I got bullied many times by more powerful students and that kept
happening for more than 1 year and a half. I've had enough of it, but I couldn't fight back, I couldn't
do anything about it, so I started blaming it on myself, partly on my parents for not engaging me in
social contact with people of my age when I was younger even though I did have some friends, and they
let me stay at home for as long as I wanted, sometimes letting me skip lessons (that was like 10 years
ago). And I started to become psychologically unstable, I was having tons of questions that I didn't
for some reason get them out of my system, existencial questions, religious ones and more. My parents
didn't understand what was going on with me, they try to reason with me but I couldn't go with it,
they sometimes get mad at me and we had fights even with my sister (6 years older than me). At school
my skills have decreased, I couldn't answer any questions asked by my teachers, I started to have bad
grades, and at the end of last year I started calling my dad to bring me back home because I was too
scared from more social contact, I couldn't study or anything either. So, I took a year off school,
and I started checking therapists and psychiatrists, even a sophrologist that my current doctor
told me about, I started having suicidal thoughts so I had to try many medicines that my psy
told me to get, none of them had any effect on me, actually they made things worse, they gave me a huge
appetite for food and I gained a lot of weight, and they caused me to become physically tired (constantly).
We went through many theories about my case me and my psy, and I couldn't get any help. I started having these
attacks, that unfortunately we found no cure for, my parents couldn't help me, the hospitals here
are like freaking Arkham Asylum from Batman, which means they are just... disgusting and horrible
to stay in. I was just lost. Oh I forgot to mention that I was a Gamer back then, right now, I even
lost my passion for games, which is the only activity I used to do, so I find myself in a void with
nothing to do, and I started having alot of demands for my parents. My dad kept buying me what I wanted
but It didn't help me, it just brings temporary joy and then it fades away. Anyways that's where I'm
at now, I found out about this website by doing Google searchs and I really look forward to getting
help. Thx for taking your time to read this all, hope somebody can help me... tell me why everything has gone
to freaking hell n why it all flipped over... Well nobody can exactly know why but I'm looking for any kind of
help, even more questions about myself and theories could be helpful from other peeps.