Porn

    • The fact remains that the statement "all boys watch porn" was made and even though it may be difficult to find a boy who doesn't watch/isn't interested in porn, I'm sure there are some boys on the planet who don't (though I could be wrong). The point is, we don't know all boys. Therefore, we cannot make a statement as if it's a fact when we don't know whether it is or not.

      Fun fact: a lot of girls aren't interested in boys who watch porn because boys (and men) who do are often more likely to cheat on their wives/girlfriends. If you're in a relationship with someone who also watches porn, chances are they're not satisfied with just you. And what happens if you can't satisfy them for some reason - for example, if you have to cancel a date? Maybe they'll wait. Maybe they'll just watch porn instead. Or maybe they'll find someone else who'll satisfy their needs when just watching porn can't.

      Which leads us into the subject of cheating. Whether we think watching porn is considered cheating or not, if you ever find someone whom you love with all your heart and you want to be exclusive with this person - maybe even spend the rest of your life with her - and you find out she watches gay porn (for example), ask yourself would it bother you/would you feel she was being faithful to you. All the guys I know would think they were being cheated on.
      There are a lot of guys who don't even like it when their wife/girlfriend just smiles at/is friendly with a guy. They sure wouldn't like it if she was getting sexually aroused by what she was looking at.
      There are a lot of guys who don't even like it when their significant other "likes" someone's pictures on social media. I know there's a real live person on the other end of that picture but what's to stop their significant other from contacting the model agency/casting company/the actor himself who starred in the gay porn flick and saying: "Oh, how about we recreate my favorite scene, you know, the one where you..." I don't know of too many guys who would be okay with that.
      You can tell by the look on a guy's face when he watches a video (with his wife/girlfriend and there's a scene where you can see the guy's penis), that he's uncomfortable - especially when he realizes the video has her undivided attention (the way a guy acts when he's watching porn).

      If a guy watches porn and isn't sexually active with his significant other yet, there may also be a greater chance of him cheating on her. There comes a time when watching porn isn't enough for some people - it doesn't satisfy the same as having a real live person. (It's like if you watch pictures of cakes/pastries. Eventually you'll probably wanna go out a buy one. Watching leaves you hungry, leaves you wanting more. Why do you think there are pizza commercials on TV around the dinner hour!)

      And even if you're not in a relationship - the next time you watch porn, keep in mind that the person/people you're jerkin' off to are possibly posing/acting under duress. They often do it because they have to, because they don't want to get further beaten/raped by their pimp/handler. Why do you think so many nudes/semi-nude pics don't show the person's face! Because that way, you don't see their tears, the anguish in their faces - especially young girls who haven't had enough acting experience yet to look like they're enjoying it. But people who watch porn often aren't interested in the fact that they're watching a human being - they're just interested in what's below the neck.

      I was responding to 12yearoldmess' post where she said she's in a relationship.

      Also, if a situation is not unusual (in other words, if it's commonplace), it doesn't necessarily mean that it's not a cause for concern.


      And now I think I've spent enough time on this thread. I don't have time to continue debating so I'll "unwatch" it. For those who like to debate, I suggest finding someone who also likes to debate and you can both do so 'til the "cows come home". :yee:
    • This is a personal question. If you think something is cheating that's up to you. It's more important why a person does certain things instead of what this person does.
      Therefor i don't like many of the examples Pauline gave. Especially because many show idiots in the roles of those guys. Guys who don't like it when their partner smiles at other guys: what is she supposed to do? Ignore all males because she is in a relationship? Guys who don't like their partners to meet someone they admire (some kind of VIP, like actor/singer/sportsman) just because they are male? Those aren't guys you should think about when you want to know what it means to cheat. Those are idiots that think the girl is 'their property' or who are just so insecure in themselves that they think the relationship is in danger.

      More important would be to ask, why someone in a relationship would watch porn. Maybe one of them has a higher sex drive then the other. And to release that urge, this person masturbates to porn. Maybe this way they see some fantasies their partner isn't willing to try out. This could happen, because not everyone likes everything. And sex is important, but not everything in a relationship. There are even open relationships where the partners have sex with other persons but they love only each other. This is not for everybody, but it exits. Or swingers. Partners who love each other but go to have sex with other couples.

      I am not excusing everything here. If your partner watches porn in your relationship ask him/her why he/she does it. Maybe it's a hidden fantasy this person is shy about. Or this person is a complete ass and you should end the relationship. In almost all cases: talking is the best first step to solve and/or identify problems.
      curious open-minded short but not so short guy from Germany. open for conversations/PMs, all topics, all ages, all genders
    • New

      I think the relationship between porn and cheating is complex but there probably is an indirect correlation: porn can warp a person's expectations of how sex can feel and what a partner is willing to do and, if their bf/gf isn't giving them that, they may look for it in others. Porn can be perfectly fine if the person watches it knowing that it's all a performance and not an example of how sex usually is like
    • New

      This is a really interesting discussion! So many different viewpoints! It makes me wonder if the opinions are personal.. or societal.. or parental.. or other factors.

      My own opinion: I have watched porn sometimes, but I am not into it really. It is so fake and staged and unrealistic. My own imagination does better. But I know boys who watch a lot, and if that is what they like or need, then it is okay. Visual guys might need it to get off. Personally, I do not think porn is 'cheating', any more than masturbation when you are in a relationship is cheating. There are lots of manifestations of sex, and I think they are all okay, as long as one thing does not overwhelm everything else. If the boy decides that he prefers porn to being with his girl/guy, then that is an issue in the relationship (obviously). But if porn or masturbation are normal or even part of the relationship, I think that is okay. I mean, I would love to have sex with another person 3 or 4 times a day. But that is not going to happen, so self-sex will have to suffice for most of those. And how I do that - whether visual porn, reading erotica, or using my imagination - is entirely my own.

      I do like reading and analysing all of these viewpoints, so keep this discussion going!