i have doubts about what i'm feeling

    • i have doubts about what i'm feeling

      hi

      this might be long but please help me :)

      i have a problem concerning my girlfriend, we've been together for more than a year now and she has always made me very happy, she supports me like no other and knows everything about me, when i first met her i saw in her eyes there was something special with this girl, maybe this is love at first sight. i fought for her, i wanted to be her girlfriend and at the beginning she wouldn't admit she was gay, but i kept talking to her and here we are now.

      we are in quarantine and it's been more than 7 week i haven't seen her, almost two full months, while i usually see her every day since we go to school together.
      last week i decided to go on tiktok again, i had already made an account before but i forgot about it a bit and since i dont have a lot to do tiktok it is. i'm gay so it's normal i like that kind of content and tiktok has filters where it only shows u tiktoks of the same kind u already liked before, which means i ended up with only lesbian content on my tiktok. if u know tiktok i guess u know ag mcdaniel, i saw her more and more on my tiktok and i got i crush on her.

      i know this is crazy but i feel like ag is accessible to me, which is weird bc the only thing in common is that she is born a few days after me and we have the same sign, it's very weird but i imagined a lot with her and stuff lately but also with other tiktok people, i guess it's because i wanna escape from this quarantine that feels almost unreal.

      thing is that i am really obsessed with ag now, i deleted tiktok but is still think about her a lot and less than my actual gf.
      sometimes i overthink it so far that i come to the conclusion that i wanna be ag's girlfriend, but it seems for me a bit bigger than just a simple celebrity crush, she seems so accessible. only think i wanna do is kiss her, but i'm thinking whether this is really about ag or maybe more my need of affection and since i see ag more than my gf currently, this is why i got so obsessed with ag in the first place.

      the only thing i know is that i got to see my girlfriend for like 30min last week and we hugged and kissed and i didn't think about anything else and i was very happy
      but sometimes ag is the onyl one i think about

      i'm lost with all of this please help me
      thank u :)
    • Are you familiar with parasocial relationships at all? It's when you feel like you know famous person personally when they've never met you and it subconsciously tricks you into caring about them.
      They are often exploited by people on the Internet. Please be careful with this ag person.

      Tbh it just sounds to me like you just miss your girl. If a relationship is worth working for then work for it. She can get tik tok. You can get Skype or some shit so you can talk. Just don't blow it all on some personality who probably doesn't even know you exist.