Parents don't listen

    • Parents don't listen

      Is it me or are parents the most difficult people to talk to? You may disagree but that's probably because your parents are either open minded so they can see things from your perspective and understand or you guys have a feeling awesome relationship.

      Moving on, I don't really have the best relationship with my parents, how can I when they are so quick to ridicule and citizen anything other than what they perceive as normal behaviour. I'd understand if I was killing cats or ripping wings off butterflies but I'm not. I'm just a normal 20 year old girl trying to go about my life and obviously I do make mistakes but that's how people learn and grow. I make the mistake of giving people the benefit of the doubt, I try to help even when it's clearly a hopeless case and yes, I do fall in love, I do indulgence in a glass of wine once in a while. Sue me.

      Anyways, when I gained a sort of independence from my parents and a sense of peace once I started University. I was in my own zone, no one barging into my room to bother me then having the audacity to leave the door open, no more having to listen to them yelling at each other in the wee hours of the morning(it was a once in a while thing but still). It was just me and my peace. I managed well on my own even though my friends bought their share fair of drama into my life but life was good. Also, I should mention that I live in a girls only commune and that I have a neighbour whose whole life revolves around watching me. Creepy much K....n?

      Last year, I met a guy and I fell in love with him, we're going on 8 months. Obviously I didn't tell my parents, it'd be equivalent to clipping a bird's feathers it can fly. He sleeps over sometimes and we watch movies and drift off to sleep, he helps me study and in my free time, we go to the movies or go for lunch.

      Anywaaaays, about 2 months ago my girls only commune turned into a mixed commune and the new guy invited me to a braai and I gathered the rest of my roommates and we all went. The place was just down the road from where we lived and I sent my boyfriend the location(a girl has got to be safe you know) and he came and he was with a friend. One of my roommates got wasted so we decided to leave and put her to bed. Long story short, a verbal argument arose and the friend my boyfriend was with became unruly. It was a mission getting him off the property but we managed to but he forgot his phone and instead of asking nicely, he decided to kick the gate which caused the alarm to go off... You can imagine how that went down.

      I got a hefty fine and I agreed to pay it but due to COVID-19, my hands were tied so my landlady called my dad and blew he facts out of proportion on purpose. Of course my dad doesn't even ask what actually happened and jumped to his own conclusions. He has a habit of jumping to conclusions fast when it comes to us kiddies because we are assumed to be lying.

      Exibhit A

      He made chicken nuggets the other day and everyone had their own equal share. Two days later, my mom was looking for them and didn't find them but she found an 'empty container' in the fridge. Long story short we got shouted at for something we didn't eat. It was automatically assumed that we ate them and being the kiddies that we are, we lied. A few hours later, my mom was doing the dishes, she opened the container and found the so called eaten chicken nugget. Turns out she didn't open it in the first place, it just felt empty and she assumed it was.. Obviously I took the prized and showed him it wasn't devoured.. what's that I hear? The sound of no apology. There's plenty other Exhibits but I'll stop here.

      Anyways, they gobbled up every word my landlady said and decided that her facts were indeed the right facts. I must say that they'd make terrible judges, horrendous.

      With that being said, I'm currently on the hunt for a non-judgemental and loving family who was willing to adopt a 20 year old. Feel free to contact me if you're interested in a slightly sarcastic and awesome sister.

    • Got those claims from several school mates now and then. Couldn't believe it to some extent. But I don't disagree. I was in war, and I mean real war, with my mom anyway. Not because she didn't listen or had some preconceived opinions on her kids listen but because she is or, tbh, was somewhat of a control-freak.

      I moved to Dad's because he's more a laid back kind of person and very supportive. And again, sometimes too supportive. Imo life is all about balance. You can stand all quirks your parents may have, if this is the case and those quirks aren't an ongoing thing.

      I guess, in your case it seems to be the one. From my expierence living with mom real social distancing (not covid-one) and moving on helped the both of us to get along with each other. I suppose we'll never have a real mom-son-relation-ship, but since I moved abroad, we talked and sorted things out. So now we have a good and matured thing among adults on an eye-to-eye level.

      Hopefully your parents mature to this level someday.
      Good luck.