I Am An Almost 17 Years Old Man And I Am Grounded For Dissobeying My Mother. Help !!!

    • I Am An Almost 17 Years Old Man And I Am Grounded For Dissobeying My Mother. Help !!!

      Hello,I am Jim and I am (almost) 17 years old. I live with my mother (42),my stepfather (37) and my half-brother (9). Here’s my problem:
      About10 days ago I brought my girlfriend to our home to spend the weekendtogether. I didn’t hide it from my parents. I have to tell you thatwasn’t the first time, I can count 4 more weekends we spent thenight together. But this time there was an incident. Atabout 1:00 am as we were having sex, my brother came to my room andsaw us. He immediately closed the door and left the room. It was awkward for both of us but I told her it’s not a big deal. The nextmorning we had breakfast and she went back to her home (she lied toher parents about being at her best friend’s house for asleepover).Then my mother confronted me and told me that my brother went to myparent’s room and was crying for almost the whole night cause of what he “saw”. We were arguing about that foralmost 2 hours. She was accusing me for everything like a typical mother:


      “Youare are selfish, careless, worthless like your father”
      “Youdon’t care about anyone except yourself”
      “Whatif you caused a trauma to your brother”
      “Yourbrain is non-functional”
      etc.
      Mystep father was trying to support me:
      “Letthe boyhave fun, now that he is still young” etc.


      But truth is, he is completely powerless against her. She just told him not to interfere when she is trying to “beat some sense” to “her own”son. So the conclusion was me getting grounded for 1 month. Which means no PC, no bike, no girls in the house for1 month.My mother never punished me after my 12thbirthday and it seemed so stupid for a guy who is almost 17 years old to get grounded. So I just couldn’t accept her punishment,I mean she didn’t gave me much of a choice banning everything from me except my smartphone,right? So… not only I used my bike, I even brought my girlfriend to the house for this weekend and we saw a movie onmy PC. My mom had seen us but she didn’t said anything in front ofmy girlfriend, I didn’t knew had a hidden agenda though.
      Once my girlfriend left the next morning, I took a bath and when I finished I just couldn’t believe what my mom did. She unplugged all of the PC cables and cut them with scissors (I guess because she didn’t know how to release the PC).She took the main frame computer and locked it to her closet telling me that she will break it if I take it back. She even hide my bike keys. She also told me that if I ever bring a girl to this house without her permission again she will embarrass me in front of her or even call her parents and tell them everything.
      Allof these things came to my head as a complete shock, I was so angry about it, I tried to say something but she acted like she didn’t heard anything. She just raised her hand pointing to my room,implying that I should just shut my mouth and go to my room. I went to my room and I even cried about it because I was so mad atthat moment for being unable to do anything. I ‘ve never cried for almost 4 years and it felt sostrange. The next Monday, since it was the beginning of the month, mymom gave me my“monthly allowance”but instead of giving me 200 euros likeshe used to she gave me 20 telling me that I don’t need much since there’s is an upcoming lockdown anyway. But I really believe she did that on purpose to “punish” me even more. On Tuesday (yesterday) I asked her for how long am I grounded and she told me “Till you learn to respect me”.
      This whole situation sucks. I cannot help myself, I even startto develop some hatred towards my brother even though I know it’s not his fault. Besides,the weekend is coming and I don’t want to lose it. My girlfriend also wants to spent the night at my home. I don’t wantto tell her that I am grounded, that’s too embarrassing. I asked mystep father for help but like I mentioned before he is too powerless against her. He gave me some money but he told me she would “execute”him if she ever finds out about it.
      SoI am asking for help or an advice or anything.


      Is there anything I can do to convince my mom right now?
      Would it be wise to disobey her again?
      Whose fault is it to begin with? Is it really mine?
      Or maybe my mom just overreacted?
    • Cutting the cables, man. That's harsh. She's the parent so she has the final say. You disobeyed her and parents don't like that. They still have authority so I'd just lay low for awhile. Don't do anything to get her mad at you. Spend some time with your half-brother if you and he get along usually.

      Your mother shouldn't have let the girl come over during a pandemic.
      Next time put something up against the door, if you can't lock it.
      Some people say things in the heat of the moment that they really don't mean but it still hurts when they say it.
      Your stepdad is powerless against your mother because he's only the step parent.

      As your mother knew what you were doing and probably approved, I don't think you should have been grounded. It was an accident that your stepbrother saw what he saw.
    • Shane1 wrote:

      Your mother shouldn't have let the girl come over during a pandemic.
      I don't believe that would be a problem. Lockdown started at Tuesday but noone takes it seriously here anyway.

      Shane1 wrote:

      Next time put something up against the door, if you can't lock it.
      Yes i know, i just forgot to lock it.

      Shane1 wrote:

      As your mother knew what you were doing and probably approved, I don't think you should have been grounded. It was an accident that your stepbrother saw what he saw.
      The first time yes it wasn't 100% my fault. But the second time?
    • You'll take coronavirus seriously if you get it.
      Like I said, I don't think you should have been grounded but because you used your bike and brought a girl over to the house when your mother said you couldn't, parents don't like when you disobey them and they just punish us ever more when we do that. We can't disobey our parents and expect them to be cool with that.
      The second time is a ripple effect from the first time.
    • i get grounded a lot, its not fun but usually i deserve it so i can't complain. i don't want to seem harsh but i think you deserved to be grounded and 1 month is not so bad, i was grounded for 3 months once and that was really bad. And 17 isn't too old for parents to ground their children not if he/she still lives with them, they can punish us if we don't obey their rules.

      I make a list of things i can do to help pass the time when i'm grounded, it helps make it more bearable, you could think about doing that to help your punishment pass easier
    • Its a failed parenting practice . Some may think locking somone,punishing will make them more human. In fact it makes you stubborn and it proves although your parent loves you and wants your good , they don't really know how to do it.

      Nice way would be to keep calm for now,lead a normal life until you get 18.
    • It doesn't really help to ground. It is a stupid and failed parenting practice..even this can be easily turn into abuse when you don't follow your mom.

      Its like parents trying to make you right, but they don't know how. Indulging into a wrong method of doin it.
      you need to stay normal, live an genuine life... And hold till 18. No need for sex and all that rn. That will be a nice decision.