Confusion about attraction

    • Confusion about attraction

      I'm not very comfortable with this so here goes.
      For the last few months whenever I look at a boy around my age that I consider good looking, I get a funny feeling in my stomach and like a flutter in my chest. I also have sexual thoughts about him and well sometimes will think about him when rubbing one off. Girls don't really do the same thing for me like most of my friends. I talked to my therapist about this and he said it could mean a few things such as I'm exploring my own sexuality because I'm now in puberty or it could be phase. I'm starting to think I might be gay and it scares the crap out of me. I'm not sure what all of this means and I am in no hurry but it is scary.

    • Don't feel pressured to put a label on yourself, like your therapist said, it's very normal at your age to be curious and explore something new. I wasn't so sure about my sexuality at that age either. It took me a couple of years before I finally admitted to myself that I'm bi.

    • I think it is not a good idea to think 'I am gay' or 'I am straight'. If these labels scare the crap out of you, then they are unhelpful. Just watch with interest from far out of yourself how your feelings change and it will be more relaxing than trying to decide what word you need to describe yourself.

    • I think it is like the others are saying. What I am makes no difference to you. What you are should be your only concern and dont bother what others think. What you should maybe focus on is the good feelings and allow thse to come out. Dont let anxiety ruin those feelings. There is nothing wrong with keeping your thoughts a private matter until you sort yourself out. We all go through changes.

    • collin13 wrote:

      I'm not very comfortable with this so here goes.
      For the last few months whenever I look at a boy around my age that I consider good looking, I get a funny feeling in my stomach and like a flutter in my chest. I also have sexual thoughts about him and well sometimes will think about him when rubbing one off. Girls don't really do the same thing for me like most of my friends. I talked to my therapist about this and he said it could mean a few things such as I'm exploring my own sexuality because I'm now in puberty or it could be phase. I'm starting to think I might be gay and it scares the crap out of me. I'm not sure what all of this means and I am in no hurry but it is scary.

      KONnik wrote:

      I'm kinda in the same situation as you. Personally I sometimes question who I really am or what I really am (like gay, bi etc). And it's something hard to accept. So you just have to wait and really see how things are going and whether this is a phase or not. My point is that you shouldn't be worried rn.
      You shouldn't be scared, if you are attracted to boys there is nothing wrong with it
      I guess you cant control who you are attracted to
      This site is the place to talk about it ;)

    • collin13 wrote:

      Thanks. Seems like a lot of us are having the same feelings and thoughts. I guess I will figure it all out soon enough. It definitely feels better that I'm not alone.
      you shouldn't feel bad. Nature is a powerful force and if it's making your have those feelings you shouldn't feel bad about it.

      As you are starting puberty, the attraction may be a self-reflection of your own discovery of your sexuality. You know your body and other boys reminds you of it.

      Maybe once you starting having some sort of exchange with girls, your feelings will start to expand.

      It's common at your age to also do circle jerks with other boys, have you been in any of those ? how'd you fee?

    • collin13 wrote:

      Thanks. Seems like a lot of us are having the same feelings and thoughts. I guess I will figure it all out soon enough. It definitely feels better that I'm not alone.
      A lot of boys go through this so you definitely aren't alone. Me and my friends went through the same thing, even doing things together. Now all except me are straight but we don't regret the times we had, made us closer I think. You'll figure it out in time and I hope you're happy however it goes.

    • collin13 wrote:

      I'm not very comfortable with this so here goes.
      For the last few months whenever I look at a boy around my age that I consider good looking, I get a funny feeling in my stomach and like a flutter in my chest. I also have sexual thoughts about him and well sometimes will think about him when rubbing one off. Girls don't really do the same thing for me like most of my friends. I talked to my therapist about this and he said it could mean a few things such as I'm exploring my own sexuality because I'm now in puberty or it could be phase. I'm starting to think I might be gay and it scares the crap out of me. I'm not sure what all of this means and I am in no hurry but it is scary.
      I know exactly how you feel, same with me.

    • Like others have said you don't have to label anything and its ok to just be confused :)

      But honestly i highly doubt it when people say it's a phase, its possible to lose attraction to a certain gender but i think some people who say it was just a phase are to some degree in denial about their sexuality. Its about finding a mix of being content in your identity but not lying to yourself to make yourself feel better
      Bored 24/7 feel free to pm whenever :D

    • musicalguy wrote:

      Like others have said you don't have to label anything and its ok to just be confused :)

      But honestly i highly doubt it when people say it's a phase, its possible to lose attraction to a certain gender but i think some people who say it was just a phase are to some degree in denial about their sexuality. Its about finding a mix of being content in your identity but not lying to yourself to make yourself feel better
      Thanks for this, and to everyone above who responded to me too. I'm slowly figuring things out and I know that we are what we are and I'm just going to be myself, not deny anything or worry about it because I can't change it. I'm not ready to announce things to friends and family, except for one friend, but maybe that will all happen in time when we are all ready but I'm pretty confident that I am gay. There I said it. And it feels fine.

    • collin13 wrote:

      musicalguy wrote:

      Like others have said you don't have to label anything and its ok to just be confused :)

      But honestly i highly doubt it when people say it's a phase, its possible to lose attraction to a certain gender but i think some people who say it was just a phase are to some degree in denial about their sexuality. Its about finding a mix of being content in your identity but not lying to yourself to make yourself feel better
      Thanks for this, and to everyone above who responded to me too. I'm slowly figuring things out and I know that we are what we are and I'm just going to be myself, not deny anything or worry about it because I can't change it. I'm not ready to announce things to friends and family, except for one friend, but maybe that will all happen in time when we are all ready but I'm pretty confident that I am gay. There I said it. And it feels fine.
      If you need to talk about it, this site is the right place :)
      And if you prefer to talk about something particular in private, my pm is open ;)