Are you Demisexual?

mishimoo · Aug 16th 2021, 10:20pm

Do any of you identify as demisexual? I always struggle to find other people who are like me and understand. I spent my entire childhood and teen years wondering why I didn't find random actors or classmates "hot" simply from the way they look or act around others. After a while I realised, and it finally clicked, I only experience sexual attraction to people I've bonded deeply with emotionally first!

I think people struggle to understand that there is a difference between aesthetic and sexual appeal/attraction. Like, I can appreciate the way human form looks, but it's not at all in a sexual way.

DragonV2 · Aug 17th 2021, 2:35am

I'm not really a demisexual but i did consider it during my still ongoing struggle to discover my sexuality. You see i do not know if im asexual or pansexual. I rarely find people i truly love or feel sexual desire too. I feel that being asexual is easier for me since i feel comfortable loving friends and that I'm not wanting to date people or that the one im looking for is not known to me.

I want to have sex with someone that has an attractive personality and i'm emotionally close to. I feel that i need to be emotionally close to someone before i truly enjoy something intimate or pleasurable as sex. I dont want sex to just be something like jerking off.

I do agree that people need to learn to that appreciating how someone looks isnt always a sexual thing lol.

Ps. I hope you find someone like you, i know what its like to feel alone//that no one understand you

corey_stratton · Aug 19th 2021, 12:48pm

I didnt know what that meant so I googled it, and I gotta say no. im not

Ashley2004 · Aug 19th 2021, 2:00pm

I don't find the need to label myself. I do what I want and honestly it's of noone else's concern.

Pultost · Aug 19th 2021, 2:26pm

I can say with 100% certainty that I am not.

maseb · Aug 19th 2021, 2:35pm

Sorry, I'm not

Joelle2008 · Aug 20th 2021, 1:13pm

I am certainly not. But it seems like an interesting way to be sexual. I wish I felt more spiritual or emotional connection to the people I think are hot or sexy. Its maybe much more healthy than just going after hot guys like I do

kaylaa · Aug 26th 2021, 2:30am

Demisexual just sounds like pan with trust issues but whatever works right

musicalguy · Aug 27th 2021, 11:46am

No? i think, i only say i think as although i do feel 'turned on' pretty easily, i don't get emotionally attached to easily but i wouldn't say that's demi just i tend to only 'like' people romantically when im good friends with them

naturelover-VT · Aug 27th 2021, 2:08pm

mishimoo wrote:

... I spent my entire childhood and teen years wondering why I didn't find random actors or classmates "hot" simply from the way they look or act around others. ...

May I ask how old you are? When you write you spent your childhood and adolescence with it. are you already in your 20s or older?

DragonV2 · Aug 27th 2021, 6:55pm

naturelover-VT wrote:

mishimoo wrote:

... I spent my entire childhood and teen years wondering why I didn't find random actors or classmates "hot" simply from the way they look or act around others. ...

May I ask how old you are? When you write you spent your childhood and adolescence with it. are you already in your 20s or older?

She claimed she was 17. Childhood ends at 12-13. Mainly due to puberty according to others. I guess she feels that nearing 18 she wont be a "teen anymore"

HeyCameron · Aug 28th 2021, 4:08am

I used to consider that I might be, but I think I just have a lower-than-average sex drive. I don't doubt that "demisexuality" is real, but I also think some people feel a bit smothered by the sexualization of society and I think it's probably more common than one might think to restrict sexuality to relationships.

Starlord · Aug 29th 2021, 4:58pm

mishimoo wrote:

Do any of you identify as demisexual? I always struggle to find other people who are like me and understand. I spent my entire childhood and teen years wondering why I didn't find random actors or classmates "hot" simply from the way they look or act around others. After a while I realised, and it finally clicked, I only experience sexual attraction to people I've bonded deeply with emotionally first!

I think people struggle to understand that there is a difference between aesthetic and sexual appeal/attraction. Like, I can appreciate the way human form looks, but it's not at all in a sexual way.

I looked at the definition on wikipedia, I didn't understand a bloody thing of what it is ??

TaylerL · Aug 29th 2021, 11:04pm

kaylaa wrote:

Demisexual just sounds like pan with trust issues but whatever works right

not arguing, but I don’t understand how it means you have trust issues. To me demisexual means you’re attracted to the intellectual/mental side of a person and it’s not just physical.

kaylaa · Aug 29th 2021, 11:26pm

TaylerL wrote:

kaylaa wrote:

Demisexual just sounds like pan with trust issues but whatever works right

not arguing, but I don’t understand how it means you have trust issues. To me demisexual means you’re attracted to the intellectual/mental side of a person and it’s not just physical.

To my understanding it meant you weren’t attracted until you built some kind of relationship and trust with them first

TaylerL · Aug 30th 2021, 1:02am

kaylaa wrote:

TaylerL wrote:

kaylaa wrote:

Demisexual just sounds like pan with trust issues but whatever works right

not arguing, but I don’t understand how it means you have trust issues. To me demisexual means you’re attracted to the intellectual/mental side of a person and it’s not just physical.

To my understanding it meant you weren’t attracted until you built some kind of relationship and trust with them first

I think your definition is more correct but I can only see that as a good thing. I think if you don’t have complete trust then you don’t have a strong relationship

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